


Kiss Me Slowly

by bisexualbarry



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), Glee, Supergirl (TV 2015), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bisexual Felicity Smoak, Bisexual Iris West, Canon-Typical Violence, Cheating, Gay Barry Allen, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, More tags will be added as I write, Not Blaine Friendly, Slow Burn, it's endgame olivarry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-05-19 22:27:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 50,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14882393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualbarry/pseuds/bisexualbarry
Summary: After Barry met Oliver, he's torn in between what's right and wrong. They're both seeing different people, but Barry can't help the pull in his gut that leads him to the older man.He doesn't know what to listen to- his heart or his head.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> well like usual with me, this is a one shot that ran away from me. im not sure how many chapters this will have considering that, unlike with An Impromptu Song, i didn't write this fully out before i posted. in fact, i probably even shouldn't be posting this chapter considering i only have a little bit of chapter two written. whoops!!
> 
> i know the tags are bare, and the summary isn't really that good (for that, im sorry. i have difficulty in doing both), but they'll both be edited and added to as the story progresses
> 
> ill try my best to update at least once a week (also unlike AIS, there won't be a specific day when i upload a chapter). but if i don't, you have every right to yell at me, lol. im currently writing as many chapters as i can before i upload chapter two so i don't have to worry about missing any updates, lol. i know waiting forever for updates is extremely annoying, so i try my best to avoid it as much as possible myself
> 
> this note has gotten insanely long, sorry!
> 
> enjoy!

Life in Central City was quiet. Or, at least it _used_ to be. As the news played on the TV in Jitters, reporting the recent crime increase that had happened within the past couple months, Barry couldn't help but feel scared about living in a town he had once felt comfortable walking alone home at night in. Now, however, he couldn't help but constantly glance over his shoulder, even during the day around a lot of people. He couldn't help but worry if he was a next target. Considering he was tall and thin, with the barest hints of muscle on him, Iris liked teasing him that he was an _easy target_. Because of the recent crime increase, Barry had learned self-defense, at the very least, and it seemed to make him feel somewhat safer walking from wherever he was coming from.

"I still wish the University was closer to the house," Joe grumbled, bustling around the kitchen with Barry watching on amused.

"Considering all the places I applied for, CCU _is_ the closest," Barry said, chuckling softly as he poured coffee into a to-go cup. He could see Joe grabbing his own cup from the corner of his eye. "Joe, I'll be fine. Iris and I both took those self-defense classes you recommended. We can take care of ourselves. Although, if it'd make you feel any better, you could always attempt to teach me how to box again."

Joe shuddered, drawing a laugh from Barry. "Kid, as much as I want you to be able to defend yourself, we're not going down that road again. Once was enough."

"I'll be fine," Barry repeated, smiling at Joe as he added creamer to his coffee and stirring it with a spoon. "I have my phone on me, in a place I can quickly grab it, and I know to never stray too far away from a public place if I can help it, so I could get help if I need it."

Joe gave Barry a look before snorting and shaking his head. "I'm heading into work. Do you need a ride to school?"

"No, I'm alright. I need to stop by Jitters to pick up my paycheck, and I don't want to make you late," Barry replied. He took a sip of his coffee as he grabbed his backpack. "Are you working late tonight, or are Iris and I doing dinner on our own?"

"You and Iris will have dinner on your own tonight," Joe answered. "Captain Singh wants me to look over the cases again tonight and see if there's a pattern of any kind that we missed."

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Barry asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Not right now. You want to go into forensics, all this boring paperwork and whatnot is boring." Joe gently messed up Barry's hair, making the younger pout and gently slap the man's hand away. "I'll see you later, Bear."

"See you," Barry said with a wave, watching Joe walk out the door. After making sure he had everything he needed in his backpack, Barry followed suit, locking the door behind him. When he got to Jitters, he saw Iris already there, talking to their manager, Jill. "Hey, ladies."

"Hey, Barry," Iris greeted with a grin. "Jill was just telling me she was thinking of increasing the pay."

"Really? That'd be nice. I have some loans that need more attention," Barry joked, making Jill roll her eyes fondly.

"It'd only be forty cents if I did," Jill said, scrunching her nose a little. "I know both Felicity and Rachel have both been hinting at a raise, but we haven't been busy enough recently. But with the new Spider-Man drink, business has been picking up."

"Who knew nerds loved coffee," Iris joked, laughing when Barry glared at her.

"Please, Spider-Man is a great superhero, and having a cinnamon mixed in with the coffee is _always_ a good idea," Barry said, sticking his tongue out at Iris after speaking. "And for the record, liking superheroes doesn't make anyone a nerd. I like superheroes."

"And you're a giant nerd." Iris's grin widened as Barry just pouted at her. "Don't worry, you make nerdy cute. If you weren't gay, I'd be _all_ over you."

Barry snorted before looking at his watch. "Shit, I need to get going or else I'll be late for class. Can I have my check, Jill?"

Jill nodded, turning and grabbing a small bag from the counter. After looking through it a minute, she handed Barry his check. "Here you go. By the way, pay day is going to be moved back a day. Something to do with the banks and all the robberies lately."

"Shouldn't you know considering you're the one handing out checks?" Barry joked.

"The owner drones on and on so much, I've had the habit of tuning him out after twenty minutes," Jill said, blushing a little. "Anyway, shoo. The both of you. I don't want to see either of you until your next shift."

Laughing, the two of them walked out of Jitters. Barry then turned to Iris. "Dinner's on our own tonight, Joe's working late."

"Ooh, that's perfect! I have a date with Eddie tonight." Iris grinned. "He doesn't have any classes tonight, and neither do I, so we have a date night. I was trying to figure out a good time to tell dad, but this all works out nicely."

"Dinner by myself again?" Barry whined, kicking a pebble on the sidewalk as they walked towards Central City University. "At least I won't have to share my food with you. I could order a pizza I want and eat it all myself."

"Green peppers sound disgusting on pizza," Iris deadpanned. "I don't know how you eat it."

"The perfect pizza is green peppers, ham, sausage, and pepperoni. Yum." Barry laughed at the look on Iris' face. "If my future husband doesn't let me eat that, then we're getting divorced. I don't need that kind of negativity in my life."

Iris rolled her eyes. "We need to get you laid, seriously. When was the last time you've had sex?"

"Uh, senior year of high school? College has kept me busy."

"High school?! Barry, you're telling me you haven't had sex in almost two years?" Iris asked incredulously. "You really need a boyfriend."

"I'm perfectly fine being single right now, Iris. I'm only twenty. I have plenty of time to find a guy and settle down." Barry sighed softly. "Besides, any dates I've been on since I was with Hunter haven't turned out well anyway."

"Bear..." Iris said softly.

"No, Iris. It's alright," Barry was quick to interrupt. "Besides, it took me awhile to get over Hunter after he moved away."

"Do you want me to set you up on a blind date?" Iris asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"No, I'm alright. Hey, are you free this weekend? Felicity's mysterious out of town boyfriend is visiting her this weekend, and she wanted everybody to get together to meet him and whatnot."

"Wow, he's real?" Iris teased. "Yeah, I am. Do you think she'd mind if I brought Eddie along?"

"I'm sure she'd be fine with it." Barry shrugged. "Felicity's laid back, I'm sure if she really had a problem with it, she'd just speak up."

"Yeah, that's true." Iris bit her bottom lip. "Hey, are you going to be alright by yourself tonight? I can cancel if it really bothers you."

"No, no. Don't cancel on Eddie, Iris. I'll be fine, really. If I'm really lonely, I can always invite Caitlin or Cisco over. Or Felicity, even, I guess."

"Okay. I just wanted to make sure because I can't remember the last time you were left in the house alone."

"Iris, again, I'm twenty. I'll be perfectly okay being home by myself."

"I know. I just worry. You need a life."

Barry stopped in front of the university and gave Iris a look. "I have a life, okay? I have a job, and I go to school."

"Okay. You need a social life. Is that better?" Iris smirked.

"Go to class," Barry said instead, turning on his heel and heading towards the building that held his history class. He could feel Iris watching him for a bit, and he looked over his shoulder and caught her gaze before she headed towards her own English class.

**~*~**

The weekend came a bit quicker than Barry was expecting. He end up getting rather busy between his shifts at Jitters, and his school work, Barry barely found time to breathe. In fact, he had completely forgotten Felicity's boyfriend was visiting until Felicity herself approached him.

"Barry, are you still coming over after your shift?"

Startled, Barry looked up from where he was starting a new pot of coffee. "Coming over? For what?"

"To meet Oliver," Felicity answered.

"Oh, that's this weekend. I completely forgot, I'm sorry. Yeah, of course, I'm still coming over," Barry replied. "I've been so busy this week, it completely slipped my mind."

"Oh, it's no problem." Felicity waved her hand in dismissal. "I'm just excited for you to all meet Oliver. I've been talking about you all to him for so long, he's starting to get anxious that he won't meet up to your guys' standards."

"Standards? We don't have standards for him. He makes you happy, so I don't see how we wouldn't like him." Barry shrugged before smirking a little. "Plus, if he's as hot as you say he is, you might have to battle the girls off him."

"Or you off him," Felicity teased. "You're our token gay."

Barry snorted. "Last I checked, both you and Iris are bisexual. I'm not the only one who's into the same gender as myself."

"Yeah, but right now, both Iris and I are dating guys." Felicity lightly punched Barry's shoulder. "We should get you a boyfriend."

"Both you and Iris," Barry muttered to himself. "Felicity, I'm happy being single, thank you." He finished what he was doing before grabbing the rag off the counter to wipe down tables. "Besides, I'm busy with school and work, I don't think I'd have the time to date anyone."

"You're full of shit," Felicity pointed out. "Iris has the same job as you, and she also goes to the same school as you, and she manages to date Eddie just fine."

"Can everybody please just stop trying to set me up with a guy?" Barry asked, looking over at Felicity. "Seriously, it's all I've been hearing about for the past week. If I wanted a boyfriend, I'd find one myself."

"Okay. I'm sorry." Felicity gave him a small smile. "I think you and Oliver will get along well, though. You're both very stubborn."

"You must have a type," Barry joked, referencing the time Felicity had flirted with him before he told her he was gay.

"Why do you keep having to bring that up?" Felicity whined. "You're hot, and I didn't know you were gay."

"Because you bring up the time I got shit face drunk and flirted with your very uncomfortable and very straight then boyfriend a year ago." Barry smirked. "What time do you want me over tonight?"

"Everybody's just kinda filtering in when they can. So once you're off your shift, I guess?" Felicity shrugged. "There's not really a specific time you'll need to be there, so."

"Alright. I get out at seven, so I should be there around seven-forty, if foot traffic is alright."

"Okay." Felicity beamed. "Thank you for coming over, by the way. This means a lot."

"Yeah, of course. I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Later on, Barry found himself nervously walking along the sidewalk to Felicity's apartment complex. It didn't get dark until around six, but it was still late enough the Barry had a difficult time seeing as he passed from between streetlamp to streetlamp. Most of the city was quiet and getting ready for bed, but the occasional car passing, or music blaring from a nearby house kept Barry on his toes. He was thanking any lucky stars he had that Felicity lived in a nicer part of town, but he was still weary. As he passed by an alleyway, Felicity's building in sight, a hand shot out and dragged him further into the darkness. Letting out a shout, Barry was quickly silenced by a large hand covering his mouth. He could feel hands on him, searching for what Barry assumed was his wallet. Gathering himself, Barry bit down hard on the hand and stomped down on the man's foot. Once he was free, Barry started running towards the opening of the alley to run the rest of the way to Felicity's building, but he was quickly stopped by another man.

"Now, now. We don't want trouble. We just want the money in your wallet," he said, his voice making the hairs on Barry's arm raise in alarm.

"No," he said, trying to sound confident, but the shakiness from the single word betrayed him.

The man in front of him smirked before Barry felt a fist connecting with his face. He let out a shout of pain, cupping his face where he felt a bruise already forming. In fact, he could feel blood stemming from the split in his lip. Even though he knew it more than likely wouldn't make much of a difference, Barry swung his own fist at the guy, feeling proud of himself when the guy was forced back. The first guy was already near Barry, hitting him once more and making Barry see stars. Cursing under his breath, Barry stumbled a bit, almost willing to just hand over the wallet so he wouldn't get hit again. He was about to do just that when a man came out yelling. The two criminals took off, leaving Barry just standing there, wondering he just didn't give the guys his wallet to begin with and avoiding getting hit.

"Are you alright?" the man asked, turning towards Barry. If Barry hadn't already gathered his bearings already, he'd swear he was dreaming with how blue his eyes were. They reminded Barry of a cloudless sky, drawing in happiness and comfort. He was only about an inch taller than Barry himself, but a lot broader. His arms alone were almost twice the size of Barry's. It was hard to tell the color of his hair in the dim light of the streetlamp, but looked like a dirty blond, if Barry were to guess. Overall, he was gorgeous and made Barry's knees weak.

"I'm fine, thank you," Barry replied after a moment, trying his best not to stare at the man's jawline. "Who are you, oh glorious savior of mine?"

The guy smirked, and Barry was willing to drop to his knees by the look alone. "I'm Oliver Queen. I was on my way back to my girlfriend's when I heard a scuffle. Good thing she decided she needed chip dip."

"Oliver...oh, you're Felicity's boyfriend," Barry said, cursing himself for the thoughts that just went through his mind. He licked blood off his lips before sticking his hand out. "I'm Barry Allen. I work with Felicity, and she's one of my best friends. She likes to joke that I'm the token gay of the group, even though her and another girl are both bi."

"You're Barry?" Oliver asked, chuckling a bit as he shook Barry's hand. "And here I assumed we'd meet under better circumstances."

"You and me both." Barry walked alongside Oliver as they made the rest of the walk together. "And chip dip? Felicity hates chip dip."

"Yeah, but apparently Cisco and Iris devour it whenever they see it. Said she didn't have enough for the both of them to survive tonight," Oliver answered.

Barry hummed softly, smiling to himself. "Felicity was right, though. You're really hot." After he said those words, he blushed a violent shade of red. "Oh god, can the ground please swallow me. I'm sorry. I swear I have a filter, it's just kinda broken? I haven't had a boyfriend in like two years, and being around really attractive guys makes me really nervous."

"You think I'm really attractive?" Oliver teased, causing Barry to flush deeper, if possible. "Well, I guess I can accept that seeing as you're just as attractive."

Barry sputtered. "That's not even possible. You're like...an Adonis and I'm a troll that lives under the bridge."

"You're too cute for that," Oliver responded, laughing.

"Great. A guy thinks I'm attractive for the first time in two years, and he's dating one of my best friends," Barry muttered under his breath. "Life hates me."

Oliver gently squeezed Barry's shoulder. "You're attractive, Barry, I don't doubt some guy will find you soon enough and want to date you."

"Thank you," Barry said quietly as they entered into the building where Felicity's apartment was. Guiltily enough, Barry couldn't help but hope it was Oliver who he'd get to go out with soon. Barry always did find men broader than him attractive (which honestly didn't take much with his small frame, but he loved being overpowered). He then stopped Oliver a minute. "Do I look awful?"

"You have a split lip and what looks like the beginning of a black eye. But other than that, you look great."

Barry groaned, touching his tender cheek. "Great. I can already imagine the fussing from all the girls."

"That's every guy's dream," Oliver joked.

"I'm gay, Oliver," Barry deadpanned.

"And I was joking," Oliver replied, bumping shoulders with Barry as they entered the elevator. "I think Felicity will more than likely fuss the most over you. I do archery competitions and she always buzzes around me like a bee if I get as so much as a scratch."

"That sounds like her." Barry laughed.

The rest of the elevator ride was spent in silence. Barry tried in vain to try to get his bruising to not look as bad as he looked into the reflective wall. When they reached Felicity's floor, Barry prepared himself for the onslaught of questions that were bound to come from his friends.

"Barry! Oh my god!" Iris' voice shout out through the chatter of the apartment. She quickly came over to him to inspect his face. "What happened?"

"I got mugged," Barry replied honestly. "Or, well. Almost did. Got a good hit on one of the guys. And then almost would've gotten my ass handed to me if Oliver hadn't shown up."

"Thank you," Iris told Oliver before taking Barry over to the couch. She sat him down. "Stay there. I'll get you an ice pack for your eye."

"Is there any other damage we're not seeing?" Caitlin asked. Barry briefly forgot she was a medical student.

"No, just the lip and the eye. They didn't hit me anywhere else." Barry took the ice pack from Iris and put it on his face, wincing slightly because of the coldness. "At least I met Oliver. He's my guardian angel."

Oliver snorted, sitting next to Barry. "I didn't even do anything. I yelled at them with a Dollar General bag in my hand and they took off."

"They must've thought you had something dangerous in your bag," Barry said with a laugh.

"Ah, yes. Beware the terrifying power of chip dip. Tremble before it," Oliver drawled out in a bored tone, setting said bag on the coffee table.

Barry grinned at Oliver before wincing as it jostled the bruised skin. "I hope I didn't ruin any plans."

"Of course not!" Felicity assured quickly. "We were going to play a card game. We couldn't decide on what to play, though."

After a few hours of talking and getting to know Oliver better while playing card games, Iris pulled Barry to the side where it was quieter, and they wouldn't be overheard. Barry had a feeling he knew what Iris was going to talk to him about, but he wished it wasn't what he thought.

"You keep eyeing Oliver like you're ready to get into bed with him the minute he snaps his finger," Iris stated bluntly, making Barry blush a little.

"Well, no, I'm just...okay, yeah. But can you blame me? He's really attractive," Barry said, looking over at said male. "I really wish he wasn't dating Felicity. He's exactly my type! Plus he said I was attractive on our walk over here. Have you seen his arms? Someone with those kind of arms, I got a bit flustered when he said _I_ was attractive."

"I haven't seen you this hot over a guy since Hunter," Iris said honestly, biting her bottom lip afterward.

"I know, and he's dating one of my best friends. And that makes me feel even worse about getting so hot and bothered over him. He's just...he's really attractive, Iris. I don't think I can be friends with him if I want to jump his bones every time I look at his face," Barry rambled, glad Iris had taken him away from the rest of the group. "Iris, I can't do this."

"Okay, okay. We can go home," Iris soothed, rubbing Barry's arms. She then walked over to Felicity. "Hey, I'm sorry for cutting this short, but Barry's gotten a massive headache from earlier, so we're going to head home."

"Oh, okay. I hope you feel better, Barry," Felicity said, making Barry's gut twist with guilt. "Thank you both for coming over, at the very least."

"Yeah, of course," Iris said with a smile. She grabbed Barry's hand as they walked to the door.

Barry risked a glance over his shoulder, his green eyes meeting Oliver's blue, before he walked out the door. He felt his heart thump in his chest, making him sigh as they walked to the elevator. "Iris, am I a bad person?"

"What? Of course not. What makes you think that?"

"Because I'm attracted to Oliver? I don't know. Maybe I'm just overreacting because I haven't had a guy flirt with me in awhile." Barry played with Iris' fingers, needing something to do. "I just feel bad."

"That doesn't make you a bad person, Barry. That just makes you human." Iris gently squeezed Barry's hand. "Oliver is rather attractive, I'll admit. I'm sure he thought the playful flirting he did with you didn't mean any harm. Felicity told me he flirts with everyone, but always comes back to her, so she doesn't mind. He's never cheated before, and she highly doubts he will. He doesn't seem like the type. So, honestly, I believe you have nothing to worry about."

"Okay," Barry said after a moment, giving her a small smile. "Thank you for bailing me out, by the way. I do have quite the headache, actually, I just didn't want to ruin the night."

Iris lightly hit Barry's arm. "Barry! If I knew that, I would've been willing to leave sooner. I don't want you suffering in silence. You won't ruin anybody's night by going home feeling unwell. Besides, considering what happened to you earlier, no one will think twice about you heading home early."

"Yeah, I know." Barry bit his bottom lip before sighing. "I know I was chastising you earlier, and I'm sorry for that, but do you think you could maybe set me up with someone? Meeting Oliver kind of made me wish I had someone."

"Of course," Iris said softly, smiling. "Do you want to go home and watch a movie before going to bed?"

"Yeah, that'd be nice. You and I haven't spent much time together, anyway," Barry replied.

**~*~**

Sitting on a bench with a book in his lap, Barry enjoyed the warm spring sun shining down on him. It was comfortable outside, so Barry had decided to sit outside and read while he waited for the time of his next class to approach. He had roughly two hours before he had to get to his math class, and he didn't want to walk all the way home only to sit. Plus, it was too nice outside to stay inside and watch TV.

"Barry Allen?"

Looking up, Barry met the eyes of someone he's never met before. The man's brown eyes bore into Barry's, making him squirm a little. His brown hair was slicked back (a little too much in Barry's opinion, but he wouldn't admit that aloud), and he was small in stature. If the man hadn't approached Barry, he never would've gotten a second glance. "That's me," he said after a moment, placing a bookmark in his book. "Who are you?"

"Oh! Uh, I'm Blaine. Blaine Anderson. Your sister, Iris, told me about you," the man, Blaine, said.

Furrowing his eyebrows a minute, Barry tried to remember if Iris had ever mentioned a Blaine. When he came up blank, Barry gave him an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, Iris never mentioned anything to me. She might've before, but she has a tendency to go on long rants, and I tend to tune out after awhile."

Blaine laughed, and Barry found himself liking the sound. Blaine was cute, Barry had to admit, but he wasn't exactly someone Barry would go out of his way to date. But, he supposed, he might as well give the man a chance. "Yeah, I figured. Iris does have a habit of leaving details out."

"That she does," Barry agreed with a laugh. "Would you like to go get coffee? I have a couple free hours to kill before my next class."

"Yeah, I'd like that." Blaine smiled, causing Barry himself to smile. He had to admit, Iris knew some cute men. "So what's your major? Iris has talked about you, but she hasn't told me a whole lot of details."

"Forensics. I want to be a CSI at CCPD," Barry answered. "But between you and me, I also have a minor in theatre. Nobody knows that's my minor, but I love music a lot, so I couldn't resist."

"Really? That's funny because I'm a theatre major. Have we not had classes before, or am I just oblivious?"

"We might've, but I haven't exactly taken a whole lot of classes for that this semester." Barry shrugged. "I'm sure we'll see more of each other now, though."

Blaine's smile was infectious, and Barry found himself grinning along. Barry had to hand it to Iris, she sure knew decent men for him. When they reached Jitters, Barry wasn't too surprised to find Iris behind the counter. She grinned when she saw the two men waiting in line. Barry smiled back, hovering a tad bit closer to Blaine subconsciously.

"Looks like Iris either planned this all out, or coincidences are working very in her favor today," Barry told Blaine, who just laughed.

"Probably a bit of both, knowing her," Blaine answered.

"So how do you know Iris?" Barry asked.

"We're lab partners in chemistry," Blaine said, giving a small wave to Iris as they got closer to the counter. "Just the other day, she was talking about you, like hyping you up, so I kind of figured she was trying to set us up."

"Oh, okay. I kind of asked her to set me up with someone, so sorry if she ambushed you. One of our friends has a really hot boyfriend, so I asked her to set me up so I wouldn't end up jumping him." Barry laughed. "Order what you want, coffee's on me."

"Oh." Blaine blushed. "Well, thank you."

After placing their orders, they made small talk until they went to a table with their coffees. Barry could feel Iris' eyes on him, making him smile to himself as they sat down. Things were going rather well between the two until a familiar head of blond hair entered the shop. Furrowing his eyebrows, Barry looked over at where Oliver was standing, talking to Felicity and Iris.

"Barry? Are you alright?" Blaine's voice cut through Barry's thoughts.

"Oh, sorry. Yeah, I am. That guy over there is someone I know, I just didn't know he'd still be here after a week," Barry explained. He blushed hotly when Oliver looked over to where they were sitting, giving them a wave and a smile. Barry shyly waved back, smiling to himself.

"Is that they guy you were talking about earlier?" Blaine asked, the tone of his voice making Barry look away from Oliver.

"Uh, yeah. I'm sorry, Blaine, I'm being rude. I'm here with you." Barry could still feel Oliver's gaze on him, but he did his best to keep his attention on Blaine. "What time is your next class? I can't believe I completely forgot to ask."

"I'm done for the day, but I think you have about a half an hour before yours," Blaine teased.

"Oh, shit. We've been here a lot longer than I thought." He pulled out his phone and started a new contact. "Here, give me your number and I'll definitely make sure to text you. I've had a lot fun with you, Blaine, honestly."

"I've had fun, too, Barry," Blaine stated honestly, typing his number into Barry's phone. After sending himself a text, Blaine handed Barry his phone back. "It was nice meeting you. I'll have to grovel at Iris' feet for the next week for setting this up."

"Honestly same." Barry laughed as he stood up. "I'll see you later, Blaine."

"See you," Blaine said, waving as he stayed at the table.

A smile was on Barry's face as he walked away. He was quickly ambushed by both Iris and Felicity as soon as he was a safe distance away. "How was he?" Iris asked.

"He's great, Iris," Barry responded. "Thank you. I owe you." He kissed her cheek, smiling as Iris squealed happily.

"I'm a matchmaker," she said happily.

"What happened to being left alone about dating?" Felicity teased.

"Your hot boyfriend showed up and reminded me that I would like a boyfriend," Barry said, smiling a bit so it appeared he was joking, even if he was being honest with her. "But I don't think I'll ever find someone as attractive as him."

Felicity giggled, laying a hand on Oliver's arm. "He is rather attractive, isn't he?"

"Well, I have to get going before I end up late. _Again_. Thank you again, Iris. I'll see you guys later." Barry gave them a tight smile before walking out the door. He let out a soft huff, wondering when his life became such a drama.

**~*~**

Blaine had easily slipped into Barry's life. Easier than Barry was expecting, if he was being honest with himself. Dating him was easy, and came naturally to the both of them, and Barry enjoyed being around him. The man was kind, and enthusiastic about his theatre passion. Even meeting his friends came easily to Barry, even though he had his reservations. Everything about his life as it was was great.

So, naturally, it made Barry feel guilty for the feelings he still had for Oliver.

He couldn't help himself. The two of them had exchanged numbers after bumping into one another once more before Oliver went back home. Any free time he had, he was texting either Oliver or Blaine. His feelings for Oliver conflicted with his feelings for Blaine, and Barry often found himself unsure of what to do. Oliver and Felicity were still together, talking about Oliver moving in with Felicity so they wouldn't have to keep going back and forth, and Barry knew Blaine was slowly falling for him.

"We should have a double date," Felicity said as her and Barry hung out one night. "Oliver will be in town again soon so we can discuss about him moving out more, and I'd like to get to know Blaine better."

"You know Blaine well. He's been coming over for game night for three months now," Barry stated, giving her a look.

"Okay, well. I still want to have a double date." Felicity pouted a little. "I don't think Oliver likes Blaine for whatever reason. I want him to get to know your boyfriend better."

Barry hummed softly. "It doesn't sound like a bad idea. We should invite Iris and Eddie and make it a triple date."

"Oh! Yeah, that's a good idea," Felicity said, grinning. "This will be so much fun. We should do it Saturday. How's Saturday sound?"

"Sounds good to me. I'll text Blaine and let him know."

As Barry texted Blaine the plans for the weekend, he couldn't help but wonder why exactly Oliver might not like Blaine. It wasn't as if Blaine was a terrible person, hell bent on ruining Barry's life. If anything, he was the exact opposite. Like Barry, he was constantly happy, and always looked for the best in people. He even befriended someone from an old school, despite him trying to split up Blaine and his then boyfriend Kurt. Blaine didn't talk much about Kurt (or anyone else, really, that weren't the friends that Barry met), and it made Barry curious as to what happened in his past to make him quiet. Or, how even Blaine and Kurt went from planning on getting married, to Kurt living in New York and Blaine living in Central City. It was weird to think about. Nevertheless, Barry wasn't the type of person to press someone for information, regardless of who it was coming from.

That Saturday, Barry was more nervous than usual. He wasn't entirely sure why, Iris and him have had double dates before with their then significant others (like when Barry was with Hunter still, and Iris was dating a girl named Julie), so it wasn't like it was anything new. He had a sinking suspicion it had more to do with Blaine and Oliver spending time around each other. Every time they were in the same room for an extended period of time, Barry could almost cut through the tense atmosphere the two gave off around each other. It was one of the few times Barry saw Blaine look upset about anything. It was worrying.

"Blaine, I hate to ask this, but could you maybe play nice with Oliver tonight?" Barry asked as he drove the two of them to the restaurant they were meeting the other couples at. "Whatever is going on between you two, could you set it aside for just one night? Please? For me?"

A sigh sounded from the passenger seat, making Barry glance over in worry. "Yeah, yeah I will. I'm sorry for acting tense around Oliver. He's a good guy."

"Thank you," Barry said gratefully. "That means a lot to me. Everyone at this dinner means a great deal to me. I just want everyone to play nice and get along." He shot a smile at his boyfriend.

Blaine smiled back, although it turned a little tense as they pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant. A sigh escaped Barry's lips, but he kept quiet. When they got inside, the others were already there, waiting and talking. Oliver's eyes snapped over to the couple the minute they were in sight, the slow once over he was receiving making him feel hot under the collar. He quickly grabbed Blaine's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze as they sat down.

"Sorry we're late. My iron broke as I was ironing my tie," Barry explained sheepishly, flattening down his tie. "Blaine had to help me pick another one."

"I like this one better anyway. It brings out your eyes," Blaine said, smiling in a way that brought a pleasant blush to Barry's cheeks.

Oliver cleared his throat a bit obnoxiously, causing Barry's eyes to snap over to him. "How are your classes going, Barry?"

Barry furrowed his eyebrows. Oliver already knew the answer to that question, if their daily texting was anything to go by. In fact, Barry had turned to Oliver multiple times when he needed help with some things. Oliver may be a college drop out, but he was actually rather intelligent, and had no problem helping Barry figure out complicated math equations. The small surprising fact that Oliver was so good at math was endearing in Barry's personal opinion. He wondered how many other things he could uncover about the older man.

"They're going alright. Math can be a bit of a pain in the ass at times, but I'm managing fine. I was actually thinking about taking an acting class next semester. Blaine and I were actually talking about taking it together, since it helps his major and my minor," Barry explained.

"Your minor? What's your minor?" Felicity asked, surprised by the new piece of information.

"Theatre," Barry admitted, cheeks turning a darker shade of red. "I did a lot of it in school, as Iris knows, so I wanted to pursue it a little bit in college. And Blaine's major is theatre, so we thought taking at least one class together wouldn't hurt."

"That's cute," Iris said with a grin. "Ugh, you two are an even better match that I thought. I'm such a great matchmaker."

Barry hummed in agreement, turning to kiss Blaine sweetly. "I agree to that," he murmured, smiling at his boyfriend as he pulled away. The others were all smiling at the two of them, except for Oliver, whose jaw was clenched as he glared down at the table. "Oliver can I talk to you for a minute?"

Oliver's head snapped up in surprise at being called out. He nodded, and him and Barry stood up and headed towards the men's room. After glancing around to make sure they were alone, Oliver turned to Barry, eye raised in question. "Why'd you need to talk to me?"

Barry let out a soft huff. "What's your problem with Blaine? I'm getting tired of all the glaring and the huffing, and whatever the hell you do when you're around him. So either you tell me what's going on that head of yours, or you fix your attitude around my boyfriend. Do you have a problem with me being gay?"

"What? Of course not! I'm pan, so that'd be dumb if I had an issue with that." Oliver crossed his arms over his chest. "And I don't have a problem with Blaine."

"You obviously do. Blaine can tell, by the way. He glares back, but he's much more subtle than you are about him." Barry put his hands on his hips as he glared at the other man. "Honestly, Oliver, you should be more mature than this. I don't know why you acquire this little attitude when you're around Blaine, but it needs to stop. Now."

Oliver's jaw was clenched, and he looked about five seconds away from punching Barry in the jaw. But Barry's glare made him sigh, and look away from the younger male. "I can't tell you."

"Can't? Or won't?" Barry let out another huff. "Fix the attitude, or kiss any hope of keeping this friendship goodbye. I won't tolerate you glaring for no reason at Blaine." With that, he spun on his heel and waltzed out the door, letting it shut behind him and leaving Oliver alone in the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for any errors, im terrible at catching them all despite going over a chapter at least thirty times (only a slight exaggeration)
> 
> im aiming for at least 5k words a chapter. i prefer having longer chapters over the short and quick updates (this isn't a jab at anyone, simply a personal preference), because it gives more stuff to read in between updates, along with more substance to a story
> 
> also, a quick note- sebastian won't ever be mentioned by name, but he will be implied! he and barry are different people, and they aren't aware of one another, nor will they ever be


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is shorter than the 5k words i was hoping for, but i didn't want to keep rambling on about stuff when i could just put it in another chapter and make it easier, lol
> 
> also a head's up, i dont know anything about fighting or its classes, so if im wrong, sorry. if im right, then that's just pure dumb luck, LOL

Blaine was fast asleep next to Barry, facing away from his boyfriend, his whole body relaxed and sated. Biting his bottom lip, Barry watched him sleep for a moment before he sighed out his nose. His boyfriend was a wonderful man, but no matter how hard he tried, Barry couldn't let himself fall completely. He had feelings for Blaine, he'd never deny that, but there seemed to be something holding him back. Barry had a sinking suspicion it was because of Oliver, but he was too angry with the older man to do anything other than send sort text replies.

Sitting up, Barry let the blankets fall off of him. Shoving them off of him, he quickly pulled on a pair of boxers and sweatpants, before making his way into the kitchen. The light over the sink was on, illuminating the kitchen enough for Barry to get a glass of water. Iris was spending the night at Eddie's, and Joe had worked late, giving Barry the house to himself for awhile. Which is why he had invited Blaine over, only he was left with a twisted feeling in his gut.

"Bear? What are you doing up?" Joe asked, walking into the kitchen as he undid the knot in his tie.

"Are you just now getting home?" Barry asked, avoiding the question. "Isn't that late, even for you?"

"Don't worry about me," Joe dismissed, taking both his tie and coat off, eyes never leaving Barry. "Now, you want to explain to me why you're awake? You have an early morning class, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do." Barry sighed softly. "My heart and head are battling with one another right now. My heart wants one thing, but my head keeps telling me it'll never happen, and I should focus on what I have, rather than what I want. That way people don't get hurt."

"Care to elaborate?"

Barry took a drink of water, eyes on the wall. Finally, he took a deep breath before speaking. "I have feelings for Oliver," he admitted quietly. "But I also have feelings for Blaine, obviously. And Oliver is with Felicity, so there's that. And my heart is telling me to go after Oliver, but my heart keeps reminding me that there's Blaine and Felicity to consider. Plus, I'm also upset with Oliver. He...he, like, hates Blaine for whatever reason."

Joe was silent, taking in Barry's words. He let out a sigh and shook his head. "Bear, why must you make everything so complicated for yourself?" he asked, only slightly joking. "Sounds to me like Oliver's got something personal against Blaine. What exactly, I can't be certain. But...don't hurt Blaine, Barry. Anybody can tell how much that boy loves you."

"I know," Barry whispered, biting his bottom lip roughly. "I love him too, but...you know what? I'm sure my attraction to Oliver will pass. I need to stop lingering on it. It's not healthy for me."

"You know what else isn't healthy for you? Not sleeping. So get to bed." Joe stood up, giving Barry a brief hug and a kiss to the temple.

"Rich coming from you," Barry muttered, but went up to his room anyway.

The following morning, Barry decided to surprise Blaine and take him out to breakfast, skipping his morning class to spend the morning with his boyfriend. Blaine had protested at first, of course, but soon was quieted as Barry acted more affectionate than he usually did. Blaine ate it up, and Barry felt his heart race happily in his chest whenever he saw the beautiful smile grace the shorter man.

"I love you," Barry murmured, kissing Blaine sweetly as they stood on the college's campus. Blaine had a class soon, but Barry wasn't willing to let go quite yet.

"I love you, too," Blaine replied, blushing a little. "What changed this morning? Usually you're...you're sweet, but this morning, I thought I'd get a cavity."

"Can't I spoil my boyfriend?" Barry pouted a little, laughing when Blaine just gave him a look. "Okay, okay. I had a moment of realisation last night. I haven't exactly been the most...attentive boyfriend towards you, and I'm sorry for that. My mind was somewhere else for awhile, but I realised it wasn't worth it. But you are worth it, Blaine, and I'm determined to prove it to you."

A wide grin was on Blaine's face as Barry talked. "You don't have to prove anything to me, Barry. You've always been more than enough for me. But I do appreciate everything. Honesty has always been something I strive for, so I love that you're honest with me."

Barry bit his bottom lip a moment before he let out a soft sigh. "There's something else I should tell you..."

"If it's about your attraction to Oliver, then I already know," Blaine interrupted, causing Barry's eyes to widen. "You're not exactly subtle about it, Bear. But I never said anything because I figured as long as you always came back to me, then I shouldn't have a problem with whatever attraction you feel towards him. Hearing this, though, cemented my thoughts. I trust you, Barry."

Barry smiled, pulling Blaine in for another kiss. "Thank you," he murmured. He then let go of Blaine. "You should probably get to class before you're late."

"I'll see you later, Bear. I love you."

"I love you, too," Barry replied, pushing his hands into his pockets as he watched Blaine walk off to get to his class. He still had a smile on his face as he walked off towards Jitters to do his late-morning shift.

**~*~**

"Can we talk?"

Barry looked up from where he was working on his homework, unsurprised to find Oliver standing in front of the table where Barry was. "About what?" he asked nonchalantly, going back to doing his work.

He could hear a sigh, and then a screech of a chair that signaled Oliver sitting across from him. "About what happened that night of the triple date," he said after a moment.

The pencil Barry was using stopped its movements, but didn't lift off the page. He eventually dropped the writing utensil before sitting back in his chair and staring at Oliver. "And what exactly are we discussing about that night?" he asked, a bit snippy. "Is this about how you keep glaring at my boyfriend like he personally offended you? Or the fact that no matter how hard Blaine tries to befriend you, you always seem to find some excuse as to why you can't talk to him, or change topics to something he knows nothing about? There are _so_ many possibilities of what we could talk about, Oliver. What in particular has got you coming to see me?"

Oliver looked guilty, an expression Barry admittedly wasn't used to seeing, but it seemed to make something inside Barry settle happily. "All of it, I guess," he admitted. "Look, I wanted to apologize for the way I've been acting around Blaine."

"You should be apologize to Blaine, Oliver."

"Let me finish, please." Oliver's voice was tight, like he was trying his best not to snap at Barry for interrupting. "I...I have no excuse for the way I acted. It was completely irrational, and I'm sorry for hurting both you and Blaine."

Letting out a soft sigh, Barry relaxed his arms from where they had crossed. "You and Blaine seriously do need to have a talk. I refuse to play middle man between the two of you. Whatever issues the two of you have, let me out of it. As for me, personally...I forgive you. I just need you to stop with the glares and the huffs, and whatever it is you do whenever you and Blaine are near one another, alright? I love Blaine, and I don't need any tension within my group of friends."

"I agree, which is why I'm here," Oliver easily agreed. "I don't want to lose you as a friend, Barry. I'm sorry for hurting you because of my stupidity."

Barry looked at Oliver a moment before sighing. "I already said I forgive you, Ollie. I don't want to lose you as a friend, either. I've already had this conversation with Blaine, however, and he also agrees that whatever tension there are between the two of you is going to stop. But, as I said already, you need to have a long overdue conversation with him."

"Okay," Oliver said softly, looking at Barry. Barry blushed a little at the intensity before looking away.

**~*~**

"This is something that is going to end very badly, and you and I both know it," Barry said, looking around the mostly empty gym.

Oliver smirked. "I'm fully aware. Felicity mentioned that you and Iris were taking some self-defense classes, and since I'm trained fairly well in martial arts, I offered to help."

"I feel like teaching the both of us is going to be tricky for just you to train," Iris spoke up, pulling her hair back into a ponytail.

"Not really. I've taught both Felicity and my sister Thea self-defense at the same time. Believe it or not, Starling City has a worse crime rate that Central does at the moment." Oliver smirked, setting his bag down on the ground before turning back to the two foster siblings. "At any rate, I think that after a few lessons, if a repeat of what happened to Barry a few months ago repeats again, he'll be better prepared."

"Are you saying the classes we took weren't good enough?" Barry asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Well, no. The class was probably very thorough in teaching you. However, with less people in a class, and more one-on-one time, like me teaching the two of you, you're more likely to catch onto what you need to know," Oliver explained. "The more you two learn, the more I will engage you in a battle with me, personally. The best way to learn is through experience. But you don't have to worry about me going too hard on you. At least at first."

"You promise you won't go easy on me just because I'm a girl?" Iris asked, her eyes narrowing as she looked at Oliver.

"Of course not. I didn't go easy on Felicity or Thea, and I won't go easy on you." Oliver smirked a little at Iris, who just grinned in response.

A few hours later, and both Barry and Iris were sweating profusely, and in different relaxed positions on the floor, while Oliver smirked at them from where he was leaning against the wall drinking a bottle of water. Iris' eyes were closed as she caught her breath, her own bottle of water laying empty next to her. Barry was nursing the last of his, his legs splayed out in front of him, the fabric of his basketball shorts sticking to his sweaty skin. He glared weakly at Oliver before closing his own eyes and letting out a shaky breath.

"I didn't think I was this out of shape. Even after the other class," Iris said, opening her eyes to stare up at the ceiling. Barry briefly thought she looked like a starfish laying on the workout mat.

"I pushed you a bit too far today, I'll admit," Oliver said, pushing off the wall to sit next to Barry on the ground. Their shoulders briefly brushed together. "The next time will be easier. I guess I was a bit too excited to practice again. I'm sorry."

"It's fine." Barry was the one to respond to Oliver. "We're just...small and tire sooner than usual."

Oliver snickered, bumping Barry's shoulder with his own. "You'll build a stamina the more you practice, I promise. The first lesson I had, I was so exhausted afterwards, I slept for like twelve hours."

"Geez," Barry said with a soft laugh. "I only feel like I'll sleep for eight hours, instead of my usual five."

"Ah, so you'll get the required amount of sleep you need to be healthy?" Iris asked, turning to look at the two men. "Has Blaine been keeping you up lately?"

"Oh ha ha," Barry said with a roll of his eyes. "He's only kept me up late a couple of nights."

"Ooh, Barry's getting laid," Iris teased, sitting up. She scooted next to Barry and bumped shoulders with him. "I demand an award for setting you two up, by the way. I didn't even think you two would hit it off so well. I honestly thought you two would only go on a few dates. Now look at you."

"I know." Barry had a giddy smile on his face. "Blaine's amazing, though. I love him so much. Thank you, Iris. Seriously."

"I'm happy you're happy," Iris replied. She grabbed Barry's hand and laced their fingers together. "Ever since Hunter, you haven't been the same. Your smile hasn't been as big, but now look at you. You're smiling widely again."

Barry smiled sadly, staring down at their hands. He could still feel Oliver sitting next to him, but he wasn't worried about him hearing things he wasn't supposed to. Everything that happened in his past was bound to come out, anyway. "Hunter...I genuinely believed he was the one. My soulmate." His voice was quiet as he got lost in memories. "You know, Blaine mentioned an old school he went to. The name sounded familiar, but I couldn't figure out what. It wasn't until I looked at old photos of Hunter and I when I realised why. Blaine and Hunter both attended a school called Dalton Academy, although they were at different times. I guess you could say I have a type."

"Do you think Blaine knew Hunter, at the very least?" Iris asked, rubbing her thumb over Barry's palm.

"I don't know, maybe." Barry shrugged. "Blaine did choir at Dalton, along with the school he transferred to, and Hunter did choir for the short time he was there, too. I imagine they may have crossed paths doing that."

"If only you went to the show Hunter invited you to," Iris said with a laugh. "You could've met Blaine before you did!"

"Blaine was also dating someone else at the time," Barry reminded, snorting a little.

"Either way." Iris waved her hand. "Honestly, you two were just meant to be together. All these coincidences? They line up, Bear."

"I agree with Iris, Barry. That has to be fate," Oliver spoke up, startling Barry a little. "You can't deny that."

Barry hummed softly. "I can't deny that," he agreed.

"But?" Oliver inquired.

"But nothing," Barry dismissed. He gave Oliver a tight smile.

"Is this because Blaine was engaged before?" Iris asked. "Barry, Blaine told me him and Kurt ended, and he doesn't have anymore feelings for him. He talks to him, yes, but they've both moved on. I think Kurt is dating someone else now, as is Blaine."

"I know. Trust me, I know. Blaine talks about Kurt all the time." Barry let out a soft huff. "God, I sound like one of those annoying clingy boyfriends."

"Hey, you're allowed to be worried," Oliver said. "Not everyone's Felicity."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm still friends with my ex, Laurel," Oliver explained. "I mean, at first Felicity was worried. Mainly because I'm so close to her, but after I reassured her, and even let them meet each other, she calmed down. Hell, they're best friends now."

"Maybe you should meet Kurt," Iris suggested, picking up on what Oliver was hinting at. "Maybe that could calm your conscience a little."

"Yeah, maybe."

The three of sat in silence for awhile, the sweat they created long having cooled off and wiped away. Barry couldn't help but smile to himself. There was a calming sense of peace as he sat alongside two of his best friends. Eventually, Barry let out a sigh as he stood up. He then turned to face the other two, smiling.

"I don't know about either of you, but I'm starving. How about we go and get lunch to fill up on all the shit we lost from working out and sweating." He laughed at the look on Oliver's face as the other two got up as well. "C'mon, Ollie, don't give me that look. I'm craving a good burger.  Something with a lot of things that are bad for you." Suddenly, Barry squealed and ran away as Oliver moved to tickle him. "No!"

"His sides are extremely ticklish!" Iris gave input, resulting in Barry cursing and Oliver laughing. Iris herself was laughing as she gathered her things, watching the two males chase each other around the training room they were in.

Soon enough, Oliver had Barry pinned to the mat, tickling him like his life depended on it. Barry was laughing loudly, squirming under the older man in attempts to get away from the offending hands.

"Stop! Stop!" Barry said in between laughter. Oliver was laughing along, moving his fingers quickly against Barry's sides.

"Say I'm the best person you've ever met and I'll stop," Oliver said, grinning as he tried his best to keep Barry still while still tickling him.

"You're the best person I've ever met!" Barry relented, taking heaving breaths as the tickling stopped. He glared half-heartedly up at Oliver before relaxing back on the mat. "God, I hate you."

Chuckling, Oliver stood up and helped Barry to his feet. "That's a shame, because I like you."

"Ugh," Barry grunted, weakly slapping Oliver's shoulder. "C'mon, I'm starving."

**~*~**

"Hey, Cait, can I talk to you a minute?" Barry asked, grabbing said girl's attention from where she was talking to Cisco and Ronnie in the library.

"Yeah, of course." She then turned to the guys she was talking to and said, "I'll be back."

Once they were a considerable distance away, Barry let out a sigh. "Cait, I need an outsider's perspective." He then licked his lips nervously. "What do you think of Blaine?"

"Blaine? Well, I think he's very nice, and he treats you well. Why are you asking?" Caitlin replied, furrowing her eyebrows a little.

"Well, does it seem like he's hiding something? Every time I mention him back in high school, he kind of clams up and mentions, like, these basic facts that I already knew about. It's kind of weird," Barry explained. "And when I try to talk to him about it, he brushes me off. And I don't want to talk to Oliver about it because I just got the two of them to play nice with one another. And I can't talk to Iris about it because she's still on that high of setting us up."

Caitlin was quiet a moment in thought before nodding. "Yeah, actually. Now that you mention it, he does have his weird moments about him."

"You can't tell anybody else, alright? I just...I don't want anyone else knowing about this right now." Barry rubbed the back of his neck. "I kind of think he still has a thing for his ex, but I can't be for sure. I...I really love him, Cait, and I know he loves me, too, but..."

"You can't help your thoughts when he acts like this?" Caitlin offered gently.

"Yeah. I'm not overreacting, am I? I don't want to seem like the annoying clingy boyfriend." Barry ran a hand through her hair and sighed softly. "God, that's exactly what I'm being, don't even answer that question."

"Barry," Caitlin said sternly. "You are _not_ overreacting, alright? Do you understand me? Your thoughts are valid, and you have no reason to question yourself."

Barry bit his bottom lip. "Well, okay." He shifted from foot to foot before giving Caitlin a smile. "Are you available to study later?"

"I'm available to study now." Caitlin gently nudged Barry's side. "C'mon. Cisco and Ronnie haven't seen you in awhile since you started dating Blaine. They miss you."

"Have I really been ignoring the others? Oops."

"Hey, it's okay." Caitlin grabbed Barry's hand and led him back over to the table. The other two grinned when they noticed Barry was sitting down with them. "I brought a buddy back."

"Dude! It's been ages," Cisco said with a pout.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I've been so busy with Blaine lately..." Barry rubbed the back of his neck.

"Yeah, about that, do you have time for anybody else? I feel like all you do lately is hang out with him, or talk about him," Ronnie spoke up. "You have other friends, you know."

Caitlin frowned from where she sat, but didn't comment. Barry looked over at Cisco, whose eyes were steadily staying down at the notebook in front of him, eyes scanning the pages, but not obtaining any information. "What's that supposed to mean? I hang out with other people. Just the other day, I was training with Oliver and Iris."

"No, what I mean is you haven't given the three of us the time of day lately," Ronnie explained. "Look, I know we've all been busy with our different things, but we've been feeling kind of ignored. Cisco and I were just discussing how weird it is seeing you and Caitlin talking a minute ago."

Barry was speechless, staring at his friends in shock. "Oh, I...I'm sorry. I didn't really realise..."

"Obviously."

"Ronnie..." Caitlin said softly, giving him a look. "Cut him some slack, please. Blaine's the first major boyfriend he's had since...since Hunter."

Ronnie sighed softly, having heard the story of Hunter Clarington. "Sorry, sorry. It's just...dude, we miss you."

"We should have a big get together. Kind of like a party," Barry suggested. "We're college kids. Let's _have_ a party."

The others shared nervous looks. "Barry, we're not exactly the most popular kids at the school. I highly doubt a lot of people would show up," Cisco pointed out.

Barry made a face. "For one, if there's alcohol, people will. For two, Oliver will be coming to it. That alone will draw a ton of people."

"Okay, where would we have it? Oliver Queen or no, it's not like we can ask to have it at his house all the way in Starling, plus we all either live on campus, or in an apartment."

"Caitlin, don't you live in a townhouse with like three other girls?"

"Two, and yeah," Caitlin answered before making a face. "There's not enough room to have a party. We could have an actual get together, but nothing bigger than that. And that's if I tell my roommates to scram for the night. The place is tiny."

Barry pouted. "Maybe we are a little lame," he admitted, laughing afterwards. "A party doesn't actually sound like very much fun, now that I think about it. Let's just all get together at my place this weekend."

"Another game night? No offense, but I'm kind of game nighted out," Caitlin said, a bit awkwardly.

"Well...we could have our own type of party? Like we don't have to play games to spend time with one another." Barry rolled his eyes and grinned as the other three chuckled.

"Get drunk and play spin the bottle and truth or dare," Cisco said. His joking face fell when the others suddenly smirked. "No, guys. Seriously, I didn't mean that."

"I could make out with Caitlin and blame it on the game," Barry joked.

"Dude," Ronnie said with a laugh. "You could make out with Caity now and I wouldn't even blink."

"It's because I'm gay, isn't it?" Barry tried asking with a straight face, only to fail and burst into giggles. "Ronnie, I was trying to make a joke, and you let it fail."

"You should've said you could finally make out with Oliver, and relieve the built-up sexual tension between you two, and blame it on the game." Cisco took a sip from his water bottle, ignoring the shocked look from Barry, and the guilty looks from the others.

"Am...am I that obvious?" Barry asked, embarrassed.

"Yes," Caitlin answered honestly. "To be honest with you, the only people who _haven't_ noticed your feelings for Oliver are Iris and Felicity. Although, I think Felicity's starting to suspect something, but I can't be sure.

"I- oh. Well I'll tone it down, then."

"We just want the best for you, Bear. Sorry if it seems like we're being too harsh on you." Caitlin reached over and gently squeezed Barry's hand.

"No, it's alright." Barry took a shaky breath before plastering a strained smile on his face. "Anyway, let's plan this thing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a mess, im sorry


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, it's like 1am, but i got a bit too excited and i can't wait until morning to post this chapter, lol
> 
> i know i just posted on like, thursday, but this chapter had me excited to write, so here we are (lmao)
> 
> sorry if the chapter is messy at all. my mind's honestly a mess and sometimes my writing just ends up as word vomit

Planning a party was something Barry didn't expect to be as difficult as it was. Hell, it was something he never expected he'd do while attending college. Nevertheless, he and Caitlin sat down to plan a party.

"This is just a get together with friends," Caitlin said sternly. The thought of going to a party freaked her out a bit. "Like we usually do. Only...there's alcohol."

Quirking an eyebrow, Barry chuckled at the med student's expression. "Cait, relax. It's not going to be a big college party like the frat houses throw. All of our friends will be there, plus some extras, like Blaine's friends. Nothing big."

"Right. I know that." Caitlin gave him a small smile before letting out a shaky breath. "Right, so. Oliver and Felicity are getting the alcohol?"

"Yeah. They're getting a variety of things so if you don't want to get too drunk, you have options. Plus, they're getting juice." Barry smirked. "Don't worry, we'll all be tipsy enough to not notice that you're a lightweight."

"I'm not a lightweight," Caitlin muttered under her breath, cheeks flushing. "We're having this at your place, right? You said Joe was going out of town?"

"Yeah. I'm not sure if that was on purpose or not, but Iris and I will have the house to ourselves this weekend," Barry answered. "Iris is on board with getting the house ready, so we'll probably spend all of Friday evening cleaning for Saturday." He made a face. "The last time we did an all house cleaning, I smelled like Clorox for a week."

Caitlin snickered. "It's not a bad thing. At least we know your house is clean."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Barry asked with a laugh. "Despite Joe working a lot, Blaine and I keep our sex in the bedroom."

"Oh, please. I don't believe that for one second. Even Ronnie and I have had sex on the couch," Caitlin said with a roll of her eyes. She snickered again at the wide eyed look on Barry's face.

"Caity, you fox! No, but seriously. Blaine and I only have sex in my bed or his." Barry took a sip from his water bottle before making a face. "This isn't a conversation I thought I'd ever have with you. No offense to you, though."

"None taken, I can understand." She then bit her bottom lip in thought. "I'm guessing your sex life is a bit...vanilla?"

"Yes, it's boring." Barry scrunched his nose. "Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course. It's just what I like. And I do love Blaine, I really do, but every time I try bringing it up, there's always some excuse."

"Is...Barry, do you really love Blaine? No offense, but nowadays, you always find these small things to complain about him. It isn't healthy."

"Of course I do. He's...he's amazing, and beautiful, and kind soul." Barry took a shaky breath. "I don't mean to complain all the time, I'm sorry."

"I don't have problem being your therapist," Caitlin teased lightly. "It's healthy to vent. You of all people should know I constantly complain about Ronnie's gross habits."

Barry snorted. "I think I know too much about the smell of Ronnie's shoes after he goes for a run." He was then quiet for a moment. "Blaine and I need to sit down and have a talk one of these days. Have a long talk. Honestly, I know he's still talking to his ex, and I don't have any problems with that whatsoever, but...they were going to get married. Even if it's been ages, it's still something that sits in the back of my mind."

Shrugging and taking a sip from her own water bottle, Caitlin just watched Barry a moment. "I think you guys talking would help a lot. You need it, honestly."

Barry twirled his water bottle in his hands a moment before rubbing the back of his neck. "I have a class at three, but we should both be free sometime after that. I should ask him out to dinner, and we could talk then."

"Sounds like a good idea. Is Blaine's ex going to the get together?"

"Kurt? Last I heard, yeah he was." Barry glanced at his phone before sighing and standing up. "I need to get going. I promised Iris I would help her with her English essay. She says I'm a better spell and grammar check than what's on her computer."

Caitlin smiled, but she gently reached out and grabbed Barry's wrist. "Hey, Barry, whatever happens, know that your friends will support you. We just want the best for you, and we worry sometimes."

"I know," Barry replied, smiling and turning his hand to gently squeeze Caitlin's hand. "Thank you."

"Of course."

Letting out a soft sigh, Barry let go of Caitlin's hand before walking out of the library. As he walked towards the small nearby coffee shop (Jitters had better coffee, but it was a bit of a walk for a quick study session in between classes), Barry spotted Blaine sitting on a bench near the fountain. He was about to call for him when a female voice called his boyfriend's name, and he noticed a small group of people heading towards him, a short brunette leading the group. Barry noted the group as being Rachel, Santana, Brittney, and a new male Barry had never met before. Furrowing his eyebrows, Barry stopped and watched the group for a moment. Barry couldn't help but notice, even from his distance away, how the male seemed to act around Blaine. Feeling eyes on him, Blaine turned, meeting Barry's eyes and grinning, gesturing him over.

Blushing, Barry made his way over with a small smile. He greeted Blaine with a quick kiss. "Hey, babe. I didn't think your friends would be in town this early." He turned to the three he knew and gave them a polite smile. "It's nice to properly meet you three. A laptop screen only does so much." He then looked at the stranger, and his smile turned strained. "And who are you?"

"I'm Kurt," he introduced.

"Oh. You're Kurt." Barry's eyes went quickly to Blaine's slowly growing uncomfortable face before looking back at Kurt. He held out his hand, gripping a tad too tightly onto the man's hand. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Barry. Blaine's boyfriend."

"So I've heard," Kurt replied, his voice just as strained as Barry's. Santana had a smirk on her face, and both Rachel and Brittney tried not to comment on the growing tension in the air. "So how did you two meet?"

"My foster sister set us up." Barry gave him another tight smile before he turned to Blaine. "Who I promised I'd meet to help with her essay. Oh, well, since we're here. Are you free tonight? I was thinking we could have a date night and go to Big Belly Burger and see if we can get a couple free cupcakes from Kara. And because we've been so busy lately, we haven't really done anything together."

"Oh, um. I would love to, Barry, but I already promised Kurt I would give him a tour of Central, and then the five of us were going to have dinner at that nice Italian restaurant," Blaine said, his face contorting in apology.

"The new one? I thought we were going to go together next week and try it?" Barry asked, trying to hide how upset he felt.

"Babe, I'm sorry-"

"No, uh. You know what? Have fun with your friends. Wouldn't want you to miss time with Kurt. I'll text you later. If you're not too busy, that is." With yet another strained smile, Barry turned on his heel and hurried away before Blaine could reply. Barry felt his face drop as soon as his back turned, and he was quickly pulling out his phone to text Iris.

_To: Iris  
Hey, can we do our study session tonight at home? I'm not really in the mood to do anything right now..._

_From: Iris  
Yeah, of course. Is everything okay?_

_To: Iris  
Honestly? No, not really. I don't want to talk about on the phone right now. Do you have anymore classes today? I'm skipping mine._

_From: Iris  
Yeah, but I can skip it. Do you need me to pick up the special pizza?_

_To: Iris  
Please._

Sometimes it was both a blessing and a curse with how well Iris knew him. After a break-up, or any bad day in particular, Barry or Iris (or even Joe one time in the days Barry was still getting over Hunter) would pick up his favorite pineapple and ham pizza from a small pizza parlor just out of the town's limits. They didn't get it very often since it was quite a drive away, but Barry always craved it when he needed cheering up.

Roughly an hour later, Barry found himself stuffing himself with pizza with Iris sitting quietly next to him. She was picking the ham off the pizza, and on any other day, he'd tease her about picking toppings off, but Barry just didn't have it in him to even comment on it. Iris was quiet as she let Barry sink into the quietness he seemed to crave at the moment, but even the most unobservant person could tell Barry was barely holding himself from letting a tear slip.

"Iris...have I been a bad boyfriend to Blaine?" he finally asked. A small smile filled his face as Iris jumped at the sudden noise.

"What? Of course not. Why would you even think that?" Iris asked, eyebrows furrowed. She set her plate down on the coffee table before turning fully to Barry. "What happened today?"

"I met Kurt." The simple sentence settled over them, and Iris fully realised what had Barry so upset. "I saw him checking Blaine out on campus today before I walked over. I asked Blaine if he wanted to go to dinner tonight, since we really haven't had time to spend together lately, but then he said he had to give Kurt a tour of the city, and then him and his friends were all going to that nice Italian restaurant for dinner tonight."

"The new one? I thought you guys were planning on going next week to try that."

"I did, too. That's what really crossed the line for me." Barry let out a shaky sigh, suddenly not in the mood for even his special pizza anymore, setting his plate with a half eaten slice on the coffee table. "I just...I try _so hard_ not to be that jealous boyfriend, but...you should've seen the way Kurt was looking at Blaine before I got there. It's a look _I've_ given Blaine before."

Iris was silent for a moment as she processed Barry's words. Finally, she sighed as she reached for Barry's hand. "I'm sorry, Bear. When Blaine talked about Kurt with me, it seemed like everything was over between them. If I knew there might still be feelings there, I wouldn't have set you up."

"No, I know. I don't blame you, Iris. You were just trying to help." Barry played with Iris' fingers as he struggled to think of what to say next. "I just...I'm actually not sure how Blaine feels about Kurt. I trust Blaine, and I believe him when he says he loves me, and that things with Kurt are done. I'm just wondering if I wasn't in the picture, if he and Kurt would get back together."

"What are you going to do?" Iris asked softly.

"For now, I guess I just trust Blaine in what he's doing. He has yet to actually give me any reason to believe anything other than his word. I don't trust Kurt, though, but I trust Blaine won't let anything happen while we're still together." Barry took a deep breath before plastering a smile on his face. "Let's not talk about this anymore."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I need a distraction tonight." He let go of Iris' hand and stood up and walked over to the movie cabinet. "Captain America alright? I need to stare at someone so I forget I keep having relationship problems."

Iris chuckled and nodded. "I'm always okay with watching Captain America."

**~*~**

"I still can't believe he broke that promise with you," Felicity commented, flipping through her homework while Jitters was slow. She was working another shift with Barry (which they often did, it's how they met), but the shop was so slow, the counter could easily be handled by Barry alone while Felicity studied for a physics test. "Like you guys made those plans the minute you learned when they would be open."

"I mean, it's not a huge deal," Barry dismissed, despite the tight feeling in his chest that said otherwise about how he felt. "To be fair, Blaine hasn't seen his friends in awhile. They all live in New York. I can't be upset about him wanting to spend time with them."

"Okay, I can understand that part, but still. If Oliver ever cancelled on me like that, I would definitely let him know." Felicity set her papers down before turning fully to Barry. "Didn't you mention you've been meaning to talk to him anyway? Did you even plan on doing it before the party, or were you going to wait until Kurt's visit is over? Because, if you ask me, you should have the talk before."

Barry let out a breath before wiping down the front counter. "I planned on doing it last night, but look what happened with that. Honestly, I don't know why I try anymore. For like a week or two now, Blaine has been making some sort of excuse. I thought we were really getting somewhere in our relationship, but now I feel we're at some sort of stalemate."

"You try because you still care about him," Felicity pointed out. "Besides, I totally understand where you're coming from. An ex coming into town and checking out my boyfriend? If I didn't love Laurel as much as I do, I would take her teasing as actual flirting, and I'd probably skin her or something."

"Okay one, you're way too sweet to do that-"

"You don't know me."

"And two, there's a major difference between Laurel and Kurt," Barry finished like Felicity had never interrupted him. "I mean, yeah, Laurel and Oliver had talked about marriage, but Blaine and Kurt were _actually engaged_. Imagine how it makes me feel to see my boyfriend's ex-fiancé checking him out." He then paused before letting out another sigh. "God, this is all I've been talking about since it happened, I'm starting to annoy myself. How are the plans with Oliver moving in going?"

Felicity watched Barry a moment before she allowed the smile to fill her face. "Plans are going well. He's got like two weeks to move out of his apartment before the next guy the landlord has coming in moves in. Oliver's met the new renter, and he's understanding if Oliver doesn't move out right away, considering Oliver's job transfer, and setting up his college application."

Barry's head snapped up from where he was mixing himself a latte. "Wait, what? Oliver's going back to school? Where's he going? CCU?"

"No, he's going to a community college nearby, but he wants to get eventually get a degree in architecture."

"Architecture? That doesn't seem like Oliver."

Felicity made a face. "It's not. Not really. His grandfather was an amazing architect, and Oliver liked helping him when he was planning houses, but it wasn't something Oliver's ever lusted over."

"Then why the want for the degree?"

"His mom is insisting on Oliver going back to finish his business degree, and architecture is one of the few degrees Moira doesn't want her children getting, despite her dad being one." Felicity shrugged. "He likes doing it, so I can't really say much. I've seen a few of the designs he made when he was younger, with his grandfather, and they're pretty good. So even if it isn't something Oliver necessarily planned on ever doing, it's something he's really good at. That, and repairing electronics. Now that's something I never expected from Oliver Queen."

Barry smiled. "Well, whatever makes him happy. My dad still gets nervous at the thought of me working towards a criminal justice degree, but he still supports my decision."

"Because your dad is amazing." Felicity lightly swatted Barry's shoulder with her notebook. "And I'm proud of you for sticking by him despite everything."

"He needs it. He at the very least believes me when I say I saw a man sneaking out the back window of the house. Damn bastard covered his tracks well," Barry muttered. "Anyway. Does Oliver need help moving out. After Saturday, I'm not doing anything next week. Well, _I did_ , but they got canceled."

Felicity gave Barry a sad smile. "I'll have to ask, but last I knew, he was getting help from his friends Tommy and Dig, so he should be alright."

"Okay. Well let me know, either way."

**~*~**

Sitting down at his desk, Barry let out a soft sigh. His head was pounding, and he ran out of aspirin. He hadn't had any time before getting home to get more, and he was regretting it. It was a free day from school, and he worked a double shift at Jitters, and both his head and feet were feeling the effects. The party was the next day, and all he wanted to do was sleep. But he had to help Oliver on Sunday, and since he had assignments due Monday, he needed to get it done tonight.

Letting his pencil scratch across the paper, he tried his best not to let the sound make his head pound anymore than it already was. There were days like that one, that Barry questioned why he put so much on his plate, but then he remembered his looming student loans, and he pushed through it. Between school, work, and dating, he wasn't sure if he ever let himself enjoy the things he did in high school. Even now, he could see the dust collected on his sketchbook.

"Bear?" a soft voice asked from his doorway. He turned to see Iris lingering just inside his room. He met her curious gaze and gave her a small smile. "I saw you at Jitters earlier, so I picked up some Advil for you."

"You're a blessing, Iris," Barry said, relieved as he grabbed the bottle from her. After downing the needed aspirin, Barry turned fully to her. "Thank you."

"Of course." Iris sat on the edge of his bed and eyed the sketchbook as if she had read Barry's earlier thoughts. "I don't see you draw anymore."

"Haven't had the time," Barry said honestly. He eyed his homework a minute before sitting back with a sigh. "All this schoolwork is killing me, Iris. Is it summer yet?"

"Not yet," Iris said with a soft chuckle. "Our lives will be even more hell once finals get closer."

"Don't remind me." Barry eyed his sketchbook once more before reaching over and picking it up. He brushed the dust off before lazily flipping through it. "Maybe I should take an art class this fall so I can get back into drawing. I always found it relaxing."

"Why did you stop?"

"I don't know." Barry frowned in thought a minute, stopping at a picture of Iris he had drawn. "I could never get hands right."

"Still insanely better than everyone at our high school," Iris commented, laying down in Barry's bed. "Seriously. Mrs. Thompson was so upset when she heard you were pursuing criminal justice and not art."

"And do what?" Barry asked with a laugh, turning in his chair to face Iris. "I love my degree, and I love art, but I can't see making my major art. Maybe a minor, but nothing more than that."

"Why don't you? I don't see any reason why you can't."

Barry bit his bottom lip, closing his sketchbook. "Maybe. I don't know. That's a worry for when next semester comes along."

"You could always-"

" _Later_ , Iris."

"Alright, whiny, I'll drop it." Iris grinned at the look on Barry's face. "Anyway. Dad's leaving to go to Cecile's earlier than he expected, so we'll have more time to clean."

"When's he leaving?" Abandoning his homework, Barry walked over and sat by Iris' feet. She promptly put them in his lap, grinning all the while.

"Tonight. Says he's going to stick around for dinner and then he's taking off," Iris answered.

"Why so late in the day? Couldn't he at least wait until tomorrow morning?"

Iris shrugged, absentmindedly picking a loose thread on Barry's comforter. "I'm not entirely sure, but I think he muttered something about not wanting to be in the house while we scheme. We may be adults, but he still doesn't like thinking that we do adult things."

"That's what I love about Joe. His constant state of denial."

Iris giggled. "Anyway, since the party isn't until nine tomorrow, I was thinking you and I could go get breakfast together at that one diner and then get to cleaning."

"Sounds like a plan. Oh, and by the way, don't call it a party around Caitlin. You know how she gets. Call it a get together. Which is what it basically is, but everybody likes to call it a party so it seems like we have a life outside one another." Barry started rubbing Iris' feet, listening to the soft hum of content he received for the action.

**~*~**

Cleaning had end up taking longer than they had originally expected. They still finished with enough time for them to get ready, but only barely. In the end, they were both dressed decently for their get together, and the house had a strong lemon scent that they were desperately trying to get rid of by lighting scented candles around the house.

Oliver and Felicity were the first ones there, bringing the drinks they had promised. After that, people trickled in one by one, Cisco even going as far as bringing enough pizza for them to eat so they wouldn't be drinking on an empty stomach. Caitlin looked a bit freaked out at first, but quickly calmed in Ronnie's presence (and a few drinks).

Blaine was the last one to arrive, much to Barry's chagrin. Behind him, he saw Blaine's friends, even Kurt, and he quickly let them in. They mixed in well with Barry's friends, but Barry was tipsy enough by that point, he couldn't help but glare a bit at Kurt.

"Barry, babe, stop your glaring before Kurt ends up in a pile of smoke," Blaine said, only slightly joking as he took Barry's hand.

Barry sighed softly, his gaze softening as he looked at his boyfriend. "I know, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be so rude towards him, I know he's your friend."

Blaine smiled before kissing Barry sweetly. "I told you, you don't need to worry. And I really am sorry for breaking my promise about the restaurant. In all honesty, I had completely forgot we agreed on that when I was making plans."

Ignoring the clenching in his heart, Barry managed a small smile to Blaine. "Don't worry. We can always make plans for something else. I miss you, though. I haven't seen you much."

"I know, I'm sorry. I've been so busy..." Blaine's voice drifted off as Barry pulled him close. Their lips slotted together and Barry couldn't help the soft moan he let out as holding Blaine close to him. When they pulled apart, Blaine's lips were red from the kiss, and his cheeks a bit flushed. "What was that for?"

"My way of apologizing for being a bit of an annoying boyfriend with your friends in town. I know you wanted me to get to know them better, and I've kind of disappeared," Barry answered.

"Hey, it's no problem. They understood, I promise."

"Okay, well. For what it's worth, I hope you and your friends have fun tonight." With one last kiss, Barry pulled away to grab another drink.

Things went smoothly after that. Drinks were shared, and snacks were eaten. Barry was enjoying himself, and he could tell the others were too. They were still coherent, but we were all drunk enough, they weren't thinking straight and anything sounded good. Which is how Barry found himself sitting in a large circle with everyone. The furniture had been pushed away to make room, and Barry briefly worried if it was a fire hazard to have the couch pushed in front of the door the way it was, before an empty glass beer bottle was placed in the middle of the circle.

"Okay, well, I'm combining spin the bottle and truth or dare because I couldn't decide what we should play," Iris said, a beer in her hand as she smiled at the bottle in the middle. "You spin it like normal, kiss the person it lands on, and then ask truth or dare. No kissing dares because we're all making out anyway."

"Sounds like fun," Felicity spoke up, popping a chip into her mouth, crumbs spilling over her, but she couldn't be bothered by it as she watched the now spinning bottle.

The bottle landed on Santana, and Iris smirked as she got up enough to plant a chaste kiss on her lips. "I haven't kissed girls since high school, I kinda miss it," she announced as she plopped back down. "Okay, truth or dare?"

"Dare," Santana said quickly, smirking wickedly.

"I dare you to give your phone to Felicity and let her text anyone in your contacts," Iris said, smirking back.

Santana handed her phone over to the blonde, who had quickly wiped her hands clean on her jeans before accepted the device. She hummed in thought a moment before smirking herself and typing away on the screen. After hitting send, she handed the phone back to Santana, who quickly looked to see what had been sent.

"I've masturbated to the thought of your lips. I don't call you trouty mouth just to make fun of you," she read off.

Barry giggled from where he sat, but quieted down at the look Santana sent him. "Geez, sorry. Just spin the bottle."

Santana did, and after kissing Eddie, who it had landed on, she said, "Truth or dare?"

Eddie looked a bit nervous, if Barry was being honest. But then again, Barry knew he wasn't used to being around the amount of people he was while he was intoxicated. Plus, kissing Santana in front of your girlfriend (after watching her kiss said girl), it had to be a bit dizzying. "Uh, truth."

"Alright, I can work with that. How old were you when you lost your virginity, pretty boy?"

Eddie flushed hotly, and Barry quirked an eyebrow at the sight. Seeing Eddie flustered was definitely new, and the sight of his heated cheeks make Barry wonder why he was so embarrassed by the question. "Well, uh. I was fourteen. I was at camp, and my girlfriend at the time and I snuck into the woods to, uh, have sex. We end up getting really bad poison ivy."

Barry snickered, but this time he wasn't hushed as everybody else did, too. The rest of the game continued much the same way, and Barry was pleased to learn that Oliver's lips tasted delicious when they were still covered with a bit of leftover beer that he was drinking.

"So, Barry. Truth or dare?" Oliver asked, meeting Barry's eyes steadily.

Biting his bottom lip, being under Oliver's heated stare, he had almost forgotten to answer. "Truth," he stated, proud that his voice didn't come out breathy.

"What's your biggest turn on?"

The room was quiet as everybody looked at Barry for the answer. Iris already knew, it having been something he had already confessed to her a long time ago. Even Blaine looked a bit interested, wondering what he could possibly do for Barry in bed. Barry himself flushed a little, glad it could be hidden by the flush he was already sporting because of the alcohol.

"I love being overpowered," Barry finally confessed. "The thought of a guy looming over me, holding my wrists down so I'm left laying there, getting pleasure from him. I loved it when my ex did it to me, and I still love it now."

The atmosphere in the air was thick, almost suffocating, and Barry had to force himself to tear his eyes away from Oliver's as he reached for his drink. Finally, it was Santana who broke the tension.

"Oh please, Blaine can hardly hold down a piece of paper, I highly doubt he'd be strong enough to hold you down in bed." Santana made a face after saying that. Even though it didn't make much sense, Barry could still see his boyfriend's face drop, as if accepting the news.

The game disbanded not longer later. People weren't into as much, and Caitlin was laying passed out on the couch by the end of it. Glancing at the clock, Barry noticed it was well into the night, nearing one am. People were staying the night at the house, various blankets strewn about, and bags all stuffed into Joe's unused room ("You can use my house to have a party, but stay out of my room"). Everybody was starting to settle in for the night, and the music was turned off. Ronnie was on the floor next to the couch, and Barry couldn't see from the mess of limbs laying on the living room floor to tell who else exactly was crashing there for the night. Iris and Eddie were still in the kitchen, munching on some pretzels, and talking to Santana, who had just stumbled in from the bathroom. Barry decided to join them, his stomach gurgling from the lack of food he'd had since the pizzas earlier.

An hour later, and the four of them were the only ones left awake. Iris and Eddie were retiring to her room for the night, and Santana was already curling next to Brittney near the staircase. Stepping over them, Barry made his way to his own room to grab something to change into. Just as he was about to enter, a noise stopped him. It was coming from his room, and he couldn't tell what exactly it was. Pushing open the door, Barry suddenly stopped in his tracks at the sight he was met with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fair warning, i dont do cliffhangers too often, but here we are with this one (:<
> 
> sorry for the lack of oliver/olivarry in this chapter, lol. some things do have to happen before they get together, and this chapter was one of them :p
> 
> (also, im aware im not funny (in regards to the trouty mouth text), it was just the first thing that popped into my tired brain)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol, i meant to write this yesterday and post, but life happened (aka i spent the day cleaning the garage with my dad, and then my nephew spent the night)
> 
> this doesn't have much dialogue in it, and it's a rather heavy chapter, but it needed to happen to progress for other things to happen, lol
> 
>  
> 
> **TW: thoughts of suicide and mentions of past self-harm**

In the grand scheme of things, Barry supposed he already saw it coming. It didn't make the sight hurt any less, though.

Turning on his heel, Barry ignored Blaine calling his name, and rushing out the front door. He wasn't entirely sure where he was heading, but he just needed to get out of the house. Seeing his boyfriend in his bed with someone that wasn't Barry, it was a rather large pill to swallow. It made his stomach churn uncomfortably at the thought. The image wouldn't leave his head. Blaine and Kurt curled around each other in _his_ bed. Like they were mocking Barry.

Barry suddenly wished it wasn't nearing three am by that point. He would've really liked talking to his dad at that moment, and getting everything off his chest. If there was anybody he could tell absolutely everything to without risk of being judged, it was Henry. But it wasn't anywhere near visiting hours, and he'd have to wait at least eight more hours before he'd be able to even step foot in the prison.

After walking aimlessly for awhile, the adrenaline Barry had acquired at seeing his boyfriend cheating on him had drained, leaving his limbs feeling heavy, and his eyes droop with sleep. But he honestly still wasn't sure if he could face either of them when stepping foot into his own house. His childhood room was now soiled with bad memories, and Barry knew he'd have to find his own place soon, lest he go crazy at the thought of what went down in there.

He soon found himself at the park, sitting on one of the many benches available there, staring ahead of him blankly as his mind raced with thoughts and worries. There was so much going on in his head, he couldn't particularly be bothered to be worried about the possibility of being attacked due to being alone late at night. It was a poor state of mind, he knew, but he wasn't sure if he even could be worried when, to him, there was so much more to worry about. So much more to occupy his time thinking about. Even though he didn't want to admit it, Barry was fully aware of anything that was happening between him and Blaine was completely and utterly over. His mind was already well aware of that fact, but his heart had a difficult time accepting that simple fact. As much as he knew he was attracted to Oliver, and everything about the man, Barry did truly love Blaine. His heart ached at the thought of splitting from Blaine, even though he knew it'd be the best thing for the both of them. Any trust that had been there was utterly shattered.

Barry wished, in that moment, that he never asked Iris to set him up with someone. It wasn't her fault, Barry would never blame her, but he had met Blaine through her. In a twisted way, Barry had almost been expecting something like that to happen. For Blaine to leave him for Kurt. Kurt had been Blaine's almost husband, and there would always be 'what if's flying around, and hidden feelings from the almost. It really shouldn't have been that much of a shock to see them together again. Barry guessed if he wasn't dating Blaine, he would've encouraged the chase after Kurt. Their relationship would never reach the level it had been to Blaine's first love. On the other hand, Barry knew their relationship would've been ending at some point soon. Not this way, of course, but it was something that never left his mind. Barry had a habit lately of complaining about everything, and second guessing everything that Blaine did. The trust had slowly deteriorated, but now it was nonexistent.

Kicking a rock that sat in front of his foot, Barry didn't even bother to wipe away the tears that were falling down his cheeks. While his head had already made sense of everything, his heart still ached in his chest. Blaine was his love, not first, that was Hunter, but he was still extremely important to Barry. Barry had a sinking suspicion that he just wasn't supposed to be happy. Any time he had found some sort of happiness in a relationship, there was always something to take the rug out from under him, leaving him gasping for air like he was drowning in water. Even as he sat there, he felt like he was drowning, and for the first time since he realised he was fully over Hunter, Barry found himself wishing he wouldn't come up for air.

"Barry!"

Barry looked up, sniffling a bit, and catching sight of Iris coming towards him. Out of everybody who could've found him, he was glad it was Iris. He gave her a weak smile as she sat down next to him, immediately wrapping an arm around him when she saw the tears on his face.

"Everybody's been looking for you. We were all worried sick when Blaine said you ran out of the house." Iris was rubbing his back, causing him to lean into her until his head was resting on her shoulder, and burying his face in the crook of her neck. Her other arm came up to wrap around him, holding him close and comforting him. "What happened? Blaine didn't say why you ran out."

"Blaine cheated on me," Barry confessed softly, his voice thick with emotion. "I found him in my bed with Kurt." He let out a soft sob, his body shaking in Iris' hold. "He was in my bed, Iris, I can't ever go in there without seeing that image in my head."

"Oh god, Barry. I'm so sorry," Iris said, her grip on him tightening, if that was even possible. "God, this is all my fault. I knew he still talked about Kurt, but I still set you two up."

"It isn't your fault, Iris, please don't think it is. You were just trying to help." Barry sniffed again, finding comfort in the warmth of Iris' arms wrapped around him. "God, why can't I be into girls? I'd marry you in a heartbeat, you'd never do this to me."

Iris chuckled softly, but it was filled with sadness. "No, I wouldn't," she agreed. "I'm sorry this keeps happening to you, Bear. You deserve so much happiness, and I hate that things keep happening to you."

"I'm starting to think I'm just not supposed to be happy," Barry stated, repeating his thoughts from earlier. "First Hunter, then Blaine. Why can't I find happiness, Iris? Every time I do, it gets torn away from me."

"First of all, Barry Allen, of course you deserve happiness. You deserve so much goodness in the world, but the world keeps slapping you in the face for it. What's happening to you will never be your fault. Blaine is an asshole for doing that to you in the first place," Iris said sternly, a hand cascading through Barry's brown locks. "All your family, your _friends_ , will always be here for you, Barry, and we'll try our damnedest to make you happy."

"Friends have left me before," Barry reminded quietly. "Tyler, Beth, they both left me once we graduated."

"Then they weren't true friends." Iris pulled away enough for Barry to get the hint and sit up. Iris gently took his face between her hands. "Barry Allen, you're the best person I've ever met. With everything that's happened to you in your life, you deserve a bit of happiness. And even if that may not happen when it comes to relationships, you sure as hell will find happiness in your friends and family. _I_ will always be here for you, no matter what. I've helped you with Hunter, and I'll help you through this."

"I don't deserve you, Iris," Barry whispered, leaning into Iris' touch.

"Yeah, well, you're stuck with me." Iris smiled before pressing a kiss to Barry's forehead. "And don't ever forget I'll always be by your side."

"Thank you."

"Of course. Now, come on. You've got everyone worried, and we should get home before somebody with ill intentions find us. I don't want to push our luck more than we already have."

**~*~**

Sighing softly, Barry sat down quietly at an empty table in Jitters. He was desperate for coffee, and as much as he loved the on campus shop, he needed Jitters coffee at the moment. As it was, he might've been avoiding Blaine a bit, and he knew Blaine didn't care for Jitters' coffee, but that was only a minor detail in the reason Barry was there. His friends had encouraged him to talk to Blaine, at the very least, to at least officially end things so that they were on the same page. But Barry was anything if stubborn, and he avoiding doing just that, going to places where he knew Blaine didn't frequent, or avoiding him at all costs. After Joe had come back and heard what happened, he made it very clear Blaine wouldn't be welcome back in their home.

Much to his surprise, Barry watched as Blaine walked into Jitters. He looked like he hadn't slept in weeks and his usual put together self was abandoned for sweats and a tee shirt, hair in its natural curly and carefree state. It made Barry's eyes widen before he quickly looked back down at his coffee, hoping in vain that Blaine wouldn't see him. When he heard the scraping of the chair in front of him, he knew all hope was lost.

"You've been avoiding me," Blaine said softly.

"Yeah, well, I wonder why," Barry said snappishly, still not looking up from his coffee. "Maybe it's the fact that you _cheated_ on me with _your_ _ex_ in _my bed_."

Blaine was quiet for a minute, resulting in Barry peeking up at him through his eyelashes. He looked like hell. Blaine had deep bags under his eyes, and his black hair even looked greasy. Not in the usual 'I've got hair gel in my hair' type of way, more like 'I haven't washed my hair in a few days' way. It was an unusual sight, seeing Blaine look like he didn't give a single care about his appearance. Usually, he never left the house without putting gel in his hair, at the very least. Barry himself typically only saw Blaine's natural hair after they spent the night together.

"What do you want, Blaine?" Barry asked, his voice cutting through the tense and awkward atmosphere that he was certain anyone in Jitters could've sensed. Barry had finally looked up to meet Blaine's stare, but his face remained blank. "Because, honestly, if you've come to apologize, I really don't want to hear it."

"Bear, I...I don't know what came over me that night," Blaine admitted. "I guess I was jealous because I know you have some sort of feelings for Oliver, and then everything that happened with the game, I just...I felt like I wasn't enough for you."

"That's bull, Blaine. I may have a crush on Oliver, but never once have I ever thought about cheating on you with him. And, yeah, I may have my sexual preferences, but that didn't mean jack shit to me because I still enjoyed our time together, Blaine. Kinks didn't matter to me because I love- I _loved_ you."

Blaine's face fell as the weight of Barry's words hit him. "Loved?"

"Yeah, Blaine. _Loved_." Barry's hand clenched into a fist for a moment before he let out a shaky sigh and released it. "Blaine, I'm not sure if my heart can handle anymore betrayal. I knew...I knew for awhile that you might still have had something for Kurt. That night, it just...it confirmed a lot of things for me. And as much as I want to give you another chance, Blaine...I can't. My heart can't handle it. I'd be too busy worrying over any time you'd spend with Kurt for our relationship to be healthy."

Biting his bottom lip, Blaine stared down at the table. Barry caught tears collecting in his eyes before they were quickly wiped away. It made Barry's heart clench in his chest, but he ignored the feeling as he steeled himself for his next words.

"We're over, Blaine."

Blaine nodded, managing a shaky smile in Barry's direction. "I'm sorry, Barry. For what it's worth, I really did love you." He walked out of Jitters afterwards, leaving Barry sitting there with tears in his own eyes.

**~*~**

The next month was hell for Barry. While he was trying desperately to forget about Blaine and move on from the incident, it seemed like life seemed to keep making life difficult for him.

Not only did Barry break-up with someone he thought he'd be with for awhile, but he also had to sit there and watch someone else he had feelings for be in a relationship that only seemed to get more intense with each passing day. Barry had overheard one time that Felicity had started dropping proposal hints to Oliver, making his heart clench. Classes also became difficult because exams were coming up, and while he never had a problem studying, he did have a problem with passing Blaine in the hallway every so often. Through the vine, he heard Blaine and Kurt had gotten back together (big surprise), and it only made the knife in Barry's back to go just a little bit deeper.

Barry's depression had quickly come back in full force, and he found himself once again dreading to get out of bed in the morning. After Hunter, Barry had often dreading waking up, and with the help of others and therapy, he had gotten back into a good mindset once more. Oliver, Felicity, and Eddie hadn't been there the first time around, so seeing Barry in such a funk worried the hell out of them, but the others already seemed to know what steps to take to get Barry to at least continue his schooling. At home, Iris would always glance at his wrists, and relief would flood her face when she saw at the marks were nothing more than past scars. The others always seemed to find some excuse to keep him out of the house, and while Barry appreciated the effort, all he wanted to do was either sleep or just lay in bed.

Things only seemed to get worse when, after exams had already passed, Felicity and Oliver announced their engagement. While Barry knew he'd more than likely never have a chance with Oliver in the history of _ever_ , hearing the finality of those thoughts only made Barry's broken heart shatter even more. It was further proof, in his eyes, that Barry just wasn't destined to be happy. The others did their best, but Barry just didn't want the help. And when he didn't want something, there wasn't much they could do to change his mind.

Sitting on his bed, Barry was staring blankly at the book in his hands. While he didn't have the money to buy a completely new bed, Barry had bought all new sheets and blankets. The only thing he kept the same was the quilt his grandma had made for him before her death (and luckily that was being kept at the top of his closet until it would be used when it got colder). He had set the book on the bed in front of him, but he didn't really feel like reading it. Iris had dropped it off earlier when she came in to open his windows and leave the blinds open. Ever since school let out for the summer, Barry hadn't had much energy to do much more than read. And while Joe and Iris weren't fond of the idea of Barry sitting in his room, they left him be for the time being. He knew, though, that they always found some excuse to check on him, make sure he wasn't doing anything to himself.

There was a soft knock on the door, making Barry startle from his daydream, looking up to see Oliver standing in the doorway. Furrowing his eyebrows, Barry sat up, tossing his book onto his bedside table, and making room for the older male to sit next to him on the bed. "What are you doing here?" he asked, curious. "Not that I mind, of course, but usually you don't pop by without giving a head's up."

"I gave a head's up to Iris," Oliver said, a teasing smile on his face. Oliver sat down next to Barry, playing with the soft material a moment before speaking again. "I know I wasn't around when everything with Hunter went down, so I guess I'm not as experienced to help you as the others are, but...I'm trying. And this is me trying, but I just...I'm sorry if I've done anything to make you not want to be around me?"

Barry gave him a small smile. Oliver was trying so hard, and while Barry knew Oliver was aware of his feelings, he also could be a bit oblivious when it came to how Barry reacted to it. "Thank you, Ollie, and don't worry, you aren't doing anything. I'm just...having a difficult time right now, and I need to work through everything."

Oliver gave him a strained smile before sighing. "I'm sorry for what happened at the party. I shouldn't have asked you that."

"In your defense, though, you didn't know Blaine would react the way he did. I don't blame you for anything, Oliver. If anything, you helped me. The whole thing made me realise how much Blaine and I weren't working anymore."

"Still, though. I feel bad." Oliver bit his bottom lip a moment. "If you don't mind me asking...what happened with Hunter? You don't have to tell me, of course."

"I suppose I probably should," Barry said quietly, taking a shaky breath. "You deserve to know, after all." Tucking a loose hair behind his ear, Barry gave Oliver a small smile before he started. "I met Hunter in high school. We didn't get along at first. I reminded him too much of someone he used to know, but he got over that as we grew closer. Hunter liked to go on and on about how he wasn't even remotely bi-curious, but the looks he always gave me told otherwise. It wasn't until we knew each other for about six months when he finally asked me out.

"The first year had been incredible, in all honesty. We did everything together, and were rarely seen apart. It got to the point where teachers always assumed we somehow had all of our classes together, even though we barely had any, because we were always holding hands in the hallway, or sitting next to each other at lunch. It wasn't until our senior year when things really started getting bad.

"It wasn't that noticeable at first, obviously. Hunter had been pulling away for a couple months by that point, so starting to see him less and less didn't really raise any red flags. I was still so incredibly in love with him, I was blind. I was convinced we were soulmates. When I was with him...everything made sense. Joe and Iris said I hadn't been that happy since before my mom died. They adored Hunter, and how he made me smile. So, like I said, I was a bit blind to it at first.

"It wasn't really until I saw some guy coming from Hunter's house with a hickey on his neck for me to start adding things together. By that point, Hunter was always good at hiding things and making excuses as to why he couldn't meet up. But even seeing the guy leaving, I still denied anything was happening. We made it to the end of senior year before things went to hell. We had been arguing for months by the time we graduated. I was still in so deep for him, and I lied to everybody and said it was fine, so they didn't think anything of it." Barry bit his bottom lip roughly. "On the night he was set to move away to a college a few states away, he admitted he had been cheating on me for months. We had a really bad argument that night, too, because I accused him and said he never loved me if he was sleeping around that easily. Hunter told me he did love me, but it only really meant something to him that first year. And then he got scared, so he cheated.

"Hunter never physically hurt me, but his words cut deep. After he moved away, he completely cut contact with me, and blocked me on everything. By that point, I had already told everybody what had happened, so Joe threatened to arrest him. But I didn't want anybody doing anything stupid. It hurt so badly. I really thought one day Hunter and I would get married, but that was all a joke to him. He'd never settle down, especially with someone like me. I was just someone who helped him realised he liked boys, too."

Oliver was silent the entire time, more than likely letting everything soak in. After a moment, he wrapped his arms around Barry and pulled him close. It was then, Barry noticed, that the two of them had started crying at some point during the story. Oliver wasn't saying anything, but the way he was holding Barry, and letting him cry into his shoulder, was enough for Barry. The physical reminder that Oliver would be there for him, was better than any verbal confirmation would ever be. And Barry did cry, letting all his sorrow and despair out through his tears, thoroughly getting the older man's shirt wet.

After about an hour, Barry's sobbing had dissolved into sniffles, and his chest felt a thousand times lighter. He pulled back and gave Oliver a weak smile. "You might want to wash your shirt, it's covered in my snot," he joked weakly, wiping away the tears from his face.

Oliver gave him a gentle smile, reaching over and grabbing his hand, softly squeezing it. "I'm sorry this keeps happening to you, Bear," he said softly, rubbing Barry's palm with his thumb. "You shouldn't ever be treated the way you have been. A smile belongs on your face, and honestly, it feels weird to see you without one." Barry blushed lightly, but Oliver pushed on. "I don't mean to sound like a broken record, with everything I'm sure you've no doubt been hearing from everybody else, but you do deserve happiness. And I'm genuinely sorry you didn't find that in Hunter or Blaine, but you deserve whatever cute wedding you have been planning since you were a child- don't even deny it, Barry. I see the way you look at the wedding magazines Felicity has been looking at."

Barry giggled. "I was hoping nobody caught me looking."

"Busted," Oliver said, causing Barry to dissolve into another fit of giggles.

"Thank you, by the way. For everything," Barry said honestly, loving the way his hand felt in Oliver's. He wanted desperately to kiss Oliver, but he knew from experience how it felt to be in Felicity's position, and he never wanted to be the reason for someone's pain like that. "Congratulations on your engagement, by the way."

Oliver's eyes were searching Barry's for a moment, and the way he was looking made Barry feel exposed under the intensity the blue eyes had. "You're welcome. And thank you, Barry," he replied after a tense moment. He was still looking at Barry, like he was looking for something within the green of Barry's eyes. Barry wasn't quite sure what exactly he was looking for, but Barry felt naked under the gaze. Like all of his secrets were laid out in front of Oliver for him to see. "Will you be one of my groomsmen?"

Barry's eyes widened a little in shock. "Oh, um. Yeah, of course. I'm guessing Tommy is your best man?"

"Yeah. That's a weird bachelor party I'm not looking forward to." He huffed out a laugh, and whatever weird atmosphere that had been built up between them disappeared at the action. Still, though, Barry's heart was beating uncomfortably fast in his chest whenever he was around Oliver. Despite its fragile state at the moment, it still yearned for Oliver. But with a crushing realisation that hit him every single time- Oliver would never be his. He was getting married to Felicity. One of his best friends. He'd never want to hurt her in the way he had been hurt multiple times in the past. He couldn't even find it in himself to even _think_ about doing it.

"You're a great person, Ollie," Barry said softly. His hand was still in Oliver's, and he didn't want to even move it. If Oliver wasn't, then he wasn't going to, either. "I'm happy you're happy."

The answering smile was worth every word he said. Oliver's smile was something that always took his breath away. The older man wasn't one to smile a whole lot, but when he did, it always lit up the room and made everyone flock to him like he was the sun. Iris said the same thing about Barry in general, but he paled in comparison when it came to anything Oliver did. Hell, even Oliver's body compared to his own wasn't even a fair competition. Honestly speaking, Barry would do anything to keep that smile on Oliver's face.

Even if it meant he wasn't always the one putting it there.

Long after Oliver had left for the day, Barry continued to sit there and think. Telling Oliver everything that happened (whether the man told Felicity what happened or not didn't bother Barry in the slightest) was a huge relief for Barry. For whatever reason, talking to Oliver always made Barry feel better, no matter what it was he did. Hell, Barry considered him a free therapist, even if Oliver didn't think the same way. While talking to Iris certainly had its advantages, there was always something about talking to someone he didn't live with, and know since he was young, had its positives. And it helped that Oliver was a great listener (Iris was, too, but his previous statement still worked).

When he went down for dinner that night, there was a noticeable smile on his face. Neither Joe nor Iris commented on it, but he could tell they were pleased to see it there.

It would be a slow healing process, but Barry was certain he'd get through it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a tiny bit shorter than my past chapters, but i didn't want to add too much to it considering it is so heavy
> 
> if how i went about things offended anybody at all, i apologize! ive never been cheated on, but ive seen it happen, so i based barry a little bit on that


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wont be able to update next week because ill be going camping, so i tried my best to make this chapter a tiny bit longer than my chapters have been lately (:
> 
> not much olivarry in this chapter, but a lot of things happen :p

If Barry was being honest with himself, helping the planning of Felicity and Oliver's wedding was pure torture.

Now that Barry was single again, he didn't have to worry about hurting anybody because of his feelings for Oliver, and they quickly grew out of control. Every moment they spent alone together was like heaven for Barry. Having Oliver's sole attention on him was everything to the brunet. And, Barry wasn't sure if it was just his hopeful thinking, or if it was reality, but Barry was almost certain that the looks Oliver gave him was reflecting the same emotions back. In fact, more often than not, it seemed to be Oliver that was always asking to hang out with Barry when there was free time.

Sitting under the summer sun, Barry laid on the blanket, soaking up the warm rays, as he laid on the beach. He could hear the girls screaming playfully from where they were playing in the water with the guys, bringing a smile to his face.

"You know, you could lay out all summer and I'd doubt you'd get any less pale."

Cracking an eye open, Barry saw Oliver standing above him hands on his hips and a grin on his face. Water drops were sliding down over various parts of his body, leaving Barry a bit dry in the mouth, before shaking away the daze and licking his lips. "I'm aware, but it's still worth trying," he said with a replying grin. "What are you doing out of the water?"

"Trying to recruit you. Iris keeps mocking you and saying you're afraid of water." Oliver sat down next to Barry on the blanket, watching as the younger man sat up to talk to Oliver. "Why aren't you getting in the water?"

"Girls aren't the only ones who like laying out in the sun," Barry replied, huffing weakly before dissolving into giggles. "I always lay out on the sand when the group comes to the beach."

"Trying to get some color?"

"I'm way too pale to be considered normal," Barry agreed. "You can go back in the water, if you want. I'm used to being up on the beach by myself, it doesn't bother me."

"I know, but I can still keep you company. Is that a crime?" Oliver smiled at Barry, bringing a blush to the latter's cheeks.

"No, it's not," Barry replied. He glanced out at the water, noticing the others starting to come up. More than likely to grab a quick bite or drink of water. They had been at the beach for a good two hours already. Barry was quick to hand Felicity her glasses, resulting in a bright grin from the blonde.

"We should've invited Kara and Mike," Caitlin announced as they all crowded on the two beach blankets they brought. "I know Kara would love getting some sun since she's been stuck at work more lately since summer hit."

"Mike's allergic to beach water," Iris joked. "I doubt he'd want to go swimming anywhere that wasn't his family's pool."

"Plus, I think Kara's working today," Barry spoke up. "She's been given a lot more shifts since the summer rush hit."

"Poor Kara. I bet she's loving the extra money, though," Felicity said, taking a drink from her water bottle. "Jitters has been slow since it started getting too hot to drink coffee. It makes it nice to enjoy the nice weather, however."

"Yeah, but now we don't make the money we do during winter." Barry pouted. "The one downside to slow seasons."

"I was thinking about picking up a summer job," Felicity said suddenly. "I know my parents said they'd help pay for the wedding, but I want to help, still. Or, even if they do end protesting, it's extra money for school."

"It's a good idea," Barry said, but his heart was in his throat when the wedding was brought up. "Were you thinking of cutting back on classes at all to help save for the wedding? As long as you're still part-time, you should be fine."

"Yeah, I might. I don't want to have a big wedding, but every any money counts." Felicity sighed softly, picking at the sandwich Iris had handed to her.

"We could always wait, too, babe," Oliver said, not looking away from his fiancée. "You're almost done with school as it is. We can wait until after you graduate, so any money you do make afterwards can go towards the wedding."

"Along with student loans," Barry muttered to himself, earning a few strange looks from the others, but no one commented on it. He was quick to shove his sandwich in his mouth so he wouldn't say anything else dumb."

"It's not a bad idea," Caitlin said. "It's what Ronnie and I are doing. I mean, we also said we were going to wait to get engaged until after we graduated, but it's pretty much the same thing." She shrugged. "There's really no harm in waiting."

"That's a good point," Felicity said softly. She sent a glance in Barry's direction, which confused him a bit, but he brushed it off and looked away. "I want to get married, though. I've been waiting for long enough as it is."

Barry hated to admit it, but things always got weird between him and Felicity whenever the wedding was brought up. At first, Barry thought it was him that made it weird, but he slowly began to realise it was a mix of both him and Felicity. It made him ashamed, because he had a feeling Felicity was aware of his feelings for Oliver, but never made any comments or moves considering her and Oliver _were_ engaged.

The group ate their lunch rather quietly after that, the only conversation to flow between them was small talk at best. Oliver was the first one to get up, heading towards the water without another word. Others slowly trickled after them until it was only Barry and Felicity left on the blanket. With the way Felicity was worrying the blanket between her fingers, he was aware there was something on her mind that she wanted to talk to him about.

"Felicity? Are you alright?" he prompted gently, just wanting to get the conversation over and down with.

"Yeah, I'm just..." She sighed softly, dropping the blanket. "Barry, I know you...have feelings for Oliver. I'm not sure how deep they go, but this whole talk can't be ignored any longer. And I was stupid for ignoring it for as long as I have been already."

Barry was quiet, but he was certain he was blushing. If it wasn't for his face feeling hot (and not because of the sun), it was surely because of being caught. "Felicity-"

"No, Barry. I need to say this," Felicity interrupted, giving him a gentle smile. "I didn't really notice it at first, and even at the beginning of when you started dating Blaine. But then I started noticing these...little things. You would look at him a certain way, and it wasn't anywhere near what you looked at Blaine. I know you loved Blaine, but your looks at Oliver, they were...more gentle. Intimate. And then I noticed them even more after you broke up with Blaine. I appreciate you not saying anything before, and for helping me with the whole wedding thing despite your feelings. I just...Barry, I don't mean to sound rude in any way possible, but...Oliver's with me. Don't you think you should just, I don't know, move on?"

Biting his bottom lip, Barry stared down at his lap. As much as he hated to admit it, Felicity made a very good point. Oliver would never be his, he was marrying Felicity. Felicity, for her part, didn't seem mad or upset that Barry had feelings for her fiancé, which was rather surprising. Then again, Felicity was always more understanding than most people. It didn't mean she wasn't hurt that Barry had fallen for Oliver (was he in love with the man? His emotions were extremely messy lately), that much was known.

Bottom line was- could he move on? He wasn't even sure he could. Oliver was the best person he ever made, and even being in the same room as him made Barry feel both calm and extremely happy. It was the same as he felt around Hunter before everything fell apart with him. Maybe it was just yet another sign that, maybe, Barry just wasn't meant to ever fall in love with anyone. Wasn't ever meant to be happy with someone that made him feel whole and complete.

Felicity left him to his thoughts, heading down to the water without Barry fully registering it. She didn't seem to mind he hadn't said anything in response, knowing he was struggling at being caught, and fully accepting the fact he and Oliver would never be together. If it was anybody but Felicity, he'd almost think she was rubbing it in his face. Oliver was happy with her. He wouldn't propose to her if he wasn't. Barry figured he was just kidding himself, and filling himself with nothing but empty hopes whenever he and Oliver spent time alone together.

For once, Barry wished there was someone sitting next to him to pull him out of his thoughts. He was very good at pushing people away to sit alone in his room, but he just needed someone to talk to, someone to hold him as he cried over what could never be. Because of this, it caused him to reach into his bag and pull out his phone.

Barry knew the man hadn't ever changed his number, something he never thought he'd be thankful for before. Barry had changed his after everything went down, not wanting to risk Hunter unblocking him and messaging him. In fact, he wasn't even entirely sure why he was texting them until the message had already been sent.

_To: Hunter  
Can we meet?_

**~*~**

"I'm surprised you texted me."

Barry looked up from his drink, smiling a little as Hunter sat down across from him. They decided to meet at Big Belly Burger the day after Barry texted him. They were at the one Kara worked at, a decision of Barry's. Kara knew of the Hunter situation, but didn't know the details. As reckless of a decision meeting with Hunter was, Barry wasn't completely stupid. If anything went south, he could always call for Kara or Mike (who apparently started working there the week before) for help.

"Me too," Barry replied, chuckling a little. "I'm surprised you moved back. You always told me how you'd move to a bigger city one day and make a name for yourself."

"Yeah, well. I lived in New York City for a year and realised how much I missed it here. It's still a city life, but it's not NYC big." Hunter chuckled softly, making Barry's heart thud at the sound. Even after almost three years, the man still had a hold over Barry. "How have you been?"

"I've been better," Barry answered honestly. "Had a boyfriend, but he cheated on me with an old fiancé of his."

Hunter's smile faded quickly. He reached over and grabbed Barry's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I'll never tell you how sorry I am for that."

"It's okay. I've learned to move on from the incident with you." Barry gave him a smile, turning his hands over to lace his fingers with the older man's. Only Kara and Mike were aware Barry was even meeting Hunter, and he made both of them swear not to tell the others. "How are you?"

"I'm okay. Better now." Hunter shot him a charming smile, making Barry's heart race pleasantly. Iris would kill him if she knew what he was doing. Ever since she found out Hunter had cheated on Barry, she absolutely _loathed_ him. "I've missed you, Bear."

"I've missed you, too," Barry whispered. "You were the love of my life."

"Let's try this thing between us again, then," Hunter insisted, bringing Barry's hand up to kiss the back of it. "We're both grown up now. We're both more mature, and sure of ourselves. I'm not the scared teenager I used to be when we were in high school."

Barry's eyes met Hunter's green ones, and he found himself feeling like he was back in high school. Truth be told, Barry was still hurt over Blaine, and now Oliver, so he knew he wasn't ready to hop into another relationship and get his heart hurt again. And with the past he had with Hunter, that was a high possibility. Still, though, he needed the comfort from a familiar face more than anything. Which is why, in the end, he end up saying, "Okay."

**~*~**

The fallout of him getting back with Hunter was, as expected, was explosive. If any of their friends weren't caught up already, by that point they were. Kara felt partially to blame since she knew about him meeting up with the man, but she was quickly reassured it wasn't. Iris was the most upset (to be expected) out of everyone. She had been the one to sit up with Barry every night on his particularly bad nights after everything with Hunter came out in the open.

"Barry, it's not that we're mad that you want to have a boyfriend, it's who you chose to get back with," Iris said, pointing an accusing finger at Barry. Everybody was sat in the West's living room, on the furniture or floor, with Barry, Iris, and Joe all standing in the middle of the room. "You were _hurting yourself_ because of him. What on Earth drove you to go back to him?"

"Because I wanted to?" Barry replied, feeling defensive over his boyfriend. "It's my life, Iris, and I think I deserve to have some sort of familiarity."

"Barry-"

"This is all my fault," Felicity spoke up, cutting Iris off from whatever she was about to say. Every eye in the room was suddenly on her, but she was bent over herself, hands covering her face. "I confronted Barry about his feelings for Oliver, and he must've taken them a different way than what I meant."

"What? When was this?" Iris asked, all anger leaving her body as he stared at the blonde.

Oliver was rubbing Felicity's back, and when she looked up, she had tears in her eyes. "When we were at the beach. I confronted him and told him I knew he had feelings for Oliver. I told him to get over him. I didn't...I didn't think he'd go to Hunter to do just that."

"Barry's decision to go back to Hunter was not your fault," Oliver said, but he was staring intently at Barry. "Barry, you and I need to have a talk. Alone."

Gulping, Barry nodded, the two of them heading upstairs to Barry's room for some privacy. Barry ran a hand over his face, looking at Oliver. "Whatever you're about to say, please don't. I really don't need any pity right now."

Oliver shook his head. He let out a soft sigh. "No, I'm not going to give you any pity, Barry. That's the last thing you need right now."

"You knew about my feelings, didn't you?"

"Yeah," Oliver answered. "I...I have some feelings for you, too, Barry, which is why I acted the way I did at Blaine back when the two of you first got together."

"But you didn't want to hurt Felicity," Barry said, furrowing his eyebrows. "Oliver, why are you even telling me this? It's not like anything can happen between the two of us."

"No, I know." Oliver was quiet a moment, collecting his thoughts. "You don't need to get back with Hunter just because you can't have me, Barry. That's overreacting a bit, don't you think?"

"Yeah," Barry whispered. "I just...I'm so tired of everyone making all these decisions for me. Hunter's the freedom I want. The freedom I need right now."

"Barry, he cheated on you."

"That's in the past! People change, Oliver. I have, you have, and so has he. And I'm willing to give it a try and see where and how he's changed." Barry let out an impatient breath. "Feelings between us or not, you still have no say in my love life. Unless you're the person I'm dating, you have no sway in who I date. And since we're not dating, and we never will, butt out."

Oliver stared at him for awhile, trying to look into Barry to figure out what exactly was his plan with this whole thing. Finally, he sighed. "Promise me one thing?"

"Of course."

"Don't be stupid." With that, he spun on his heel and made his way back downstairs, leaving Barry standing there and staring at the place Oliver had previously occupied.

As irritated as he was with everybody for being so upset with him at the current moment, Barry was well aware the worry was well intended. Barry had been seriously hurt by Hunter in the past, and the likelihood of it happening again was too high for any of their comfort. But Barry was stubborn, and he was determined not to fall into old footsteps and let himself get hurt yet again. Not this time.

On cue, Barry's phone dinged, signalling a text from Hunter. Grinning, he texted his boyfriend back and hurrying out the door without looking back to meet up with him at a nearby café. He could hear his friends and family protesting as he did so, not knowing what Oliver had talked about with him, and unsure of how he was reacting to it their concerns.

When he got there, Barry saw Hunter sitting with two familiar people, making the knot in his stomach intensify. "Hey Blaine. Kurt," he greeted shortly as he sat down. "Thought you lived in New York."

"I moved." Kurt's smile was slightly strained.

Barry nodded before grinning at Hunter, greeting him with a sweet kiss. "Hey, babe. Didn't know you knew my ex."

"Heard he was in town. Wanted to make amends for some things that happened in the past," Hunter explained, kissing Barry again.

"So how did you two meet?" Kurt spoke up, resulting in the other two pulling apart.

"I went to the high school here in Central after everything at Dalton happened. I asked him out, and we dated all the way to graduation," Hunter explained, grabbing Barry and lacing their fingers together.

"Why'd you two break-up then?" Blaine asked politely.

"He cheated on me," Barry said softly. "Multiple times."

There was an awkward silence that surrounded them a moment, Blaine looking guiltier than before. Barry gave a tight smile before standing up. "I need to use the restroom, I'll be right back."

Once in the safety of the bathroom, Barry stared at himself in the mirror. He was suddenly starting to second guess himself in the decision of getting back with Hunter. With Hunter came memories of good times, but also came memories of being so incredibly hurt by him, he hadn't left his room all summer. Splashing water on himself, he sighed softly at the relief of the cool water on his heated skin. He felt hot under his clothes, from embarrassment, mostly, but also stress. Hunter was someone who hurt him badly, and so was Blaine. And they were both sitting out there, both holding the knowledge that they had cheated on Barry and hurt him the same way. Blaine looked guilty, and Hunter didn't even blink whenever he was reminded of what happened in high school.

Barry stared at himself in the mirror for awhile, spending a worryingly long amount of time in the bathroom, silently freaking out. The bathroom door opened behind him, but he ignored it. It was more than likely someone he didn't even know coming in to use the bathroom.

"Barry?" a gentle voice said from next to him.

Barry jumped in surprise, turning his head to see Kurt watching him. "What are you doing in here?"

"To check up on you. Things are still awkward out there," Kurt said, leaning on the sink Barry was standing in front of.

"But why? No offense, but I haven't exactly been nice to you since I've met you," Barry asked, not meeting Kurt's eyes.

"You had your reasons." Kurt tilted his head a little, watching Barry. "Good reasons, too, since Blaine and I end up sleeping together, so I don't exactly blame you for not liking me."

They were both quiet as they stood there. After a moment, Barry sighed again. "What am I doing? Both guys out there have cheated on me, and I was stupid enough to get back with one of them."

"Blaine's cheated on me before," Kurt said softly. "And look at us now. People do change, Barry, so I don't at all blame you for getting back with Hunter. It's been a few years since you two were together. You've both grown up, so I can see where you're coming from." His eyes scanned Barry a moment more before he spoke again, "But you're running from something, or somebody, I can tell."

"What? How could you possibly know that?" Barry asked, eyes wide.

"Just the way you're acting," Kurt answered. "While you do seem like the type of person to give someone another chance, getting back with someone like Hunter- who's hurt you multiple times- seems a bit out of character for you. I don't know you very well, but considering what happened, you almost seem to be getting back with him out of spite more than anything. Like a 'fuck you' to your family, who no doubt hate Hunter."

Barry rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. "A little," he admitted quietly. He played with the bottom of his shirt as he spoke again. "I'm in love with this guy, he's absolutely incredible. He's always treated me so nice, training me in self-defense, and is honestly one of the best people I've ever met."

"But?"

" _But_ he's engaged and about to getting married. Soon, I'm rather certain, if she has anything to do about that. She's well aware of my feelings for him, and told me I should get over Oliver," Barry said. He gave Kurt a weak smile. "I was trying to get over him when I was with Blaine, but look how that worked. So I thought, with Hunter, I've already been hurt by him. What more go could go wrong? Surely, he could help me get over this guy."

"Barry," Kurt said gently. "You don't need a guy to get over someone else. From what I know about you, you're strong, and you can easily do it on your own. You seem close with this guy, and that's okay. But your friends can help you, and I'm sure they will. You are strong enough to do this on your own."

"I know, I just...I don't like being alone." Barry blinked the tears that were forming out of his eyes. "For the longest time, I was the only single one. Everybody else around me was happy. Granted, Cisco's single now since he and Lisa broke up, but he's been flirting with someone else, and talking about taking it further, so."

"Being single isn't the end of the world." Kurt gently squeezed Barry's shoulder. "Sure, having a boyfriend is nice, but not a life necessity."

"Thank you," Barry said sincerely. "Would it be weird if I asked for your number so we can keep in contact?"

"Not at all,"  Kurt said with a laugh. They exchanged phones and typed their own number into a new contact before swapping again. "So what are you going to do?"

"Stay with Hunter," Barry said quietly. "I know my intentions aren't one hundred percent... _good_ , but I still want to try again with him. I just...I want to be happy again. Even if it's just for a little bit. I'm so tired of being so down on myself all the time."

"Okay." Kurt took a breath before smiling at Barry. "Then let's get back to our boyfriends. I'm sure they're wondering what's taking us so long."

Later on, Barry was sat in his bed with Hunter. Admittedly, he had to do a bit of sneaking to get him in, but he didn't really care what anybody else thought about his relationships anymore. They were cuddling, Hunter's arm wrapped around his waist, with a thumb gently rubbing the exposed skin near Barry's hip. It wasn't the same as the few times he snuck a cuddle in with Oliver, but it was still nice nonetheless. He knew what his friends and family thought of Hunter, something that made him feel slightly guilty.

"What's on your mind?" Hunter asked gently, shaking Barry from his thoughts.

"You," Barry answered, looking up at Hunter, and giving him a smile. "My friends don't like you, you know. My foster dad threatened to either arrest or shoot you if he ever saw you again. And now here you are. If he caught you in here, he'd surely shoot you."

"I'm not the same person, Bear," Hunter said seriously. "I know you have your doubts yet, and that's okay. I know that's why you hid yourself in the bathroom earlier today."

"You're not upset that I'm still worried?"

"I'd be worried if you didn't have your doubts, in all honesty." Hunter pressed a kiss to Barry's temple, causing the younger to smile. "But I'm still thankful you're at least giving me another shot. Thank you."

"Of course." Barry pulled Hunter in for a kiss, smiling against his lips. "I think, with you, I'll be able to get over Oliver."

Hunter hummed softly, smiling. He had been brought up to date earlier at the café, after Blaine and Kurt left them alone to enjoy alone time together. "I'm sorry I was the start of all your problems."

"Yeah, but you'll be the end of them, now." Barry kissed him again. "You're helping me more than you realise, Hunt."

Gently cupping Barry's face, Hunter smiled at his boyfriend. The smile on his face was sweet, making Barry's heart race in his chest. It was the moments like these, with just Hunter and knowing his feelings weren't crazy for being there in the first place, that Barry truly treasured. It was how Barry fell in love with Hunter in the first place.

"I'm glad, Barry. And I want you to know that I will try everything in my power to help you get over Oliver, and fall in love with me again," he said seriously, his eyes boring into Barry's. "I will do absolutely everything in my power to make you happy. And I swear to you, Barry, I won't ever hurt you like that ever again. I don't ever want to be the reason for your pain again."

"Thank you," Barry whispered, tears in his eyes as he looked at Hunter. While he still definitely still had his doubts about Hunter, he could still see the sincerity in his promise. They shared another kiss before pulling away. "Do you want me to sneak you back out?"

"Yeah. I don't want to risk getting shot in the morning when Joe catches me," Hunter replied as the two of them slipped out of Barry's bed.

Barry peeked out the door to look for any sign of either Iris or Joe before gesturing to Hunter to follow him. The second Barry's foot hit the floor at the bottom of the stairs, the living room light flicked on, revealing Joe sitting on the couch in his pajamas.

"And what do you think you're doing?" he asked, staring down the young couple, both who looked like deer caught in a pair of headlights, frozen in their position.

"Helping Hunter out," Barry replied lamely, pointing weakly at the front door.

Joe's eyes narrowed at Hunter before standing up. He walked closer to the pair, glaring Hunter down. "I don't like you," he stated flatly. "And I doubt I ever will again after what you did to Barry. I trust Barry's judgement, so I'll let him do whatever it is he's doing with you, and stay out of it. But if I hear you doing absolutely anything to hurt Barry in anyway, I know how to shoot a gun, and the people at the police station I work at like Barry enough to help me hide the body."

Hunter swallowed thickly, his whole face as white as a sheet. He nodded quickly, not risking saying anything to anger Joe any further. Joe glanced at Barry before heading back to his bedroom. It wasn't until they heard the door shut before they let out the breaths they were holding in suspense.

"That went better than I was expecting," Barry said, chuckling weakly to try easing the tense atmosphere.

"I was expecting to be shot on sight, so anything that's not that is instantly better in my eyes," Hunter said, giving Barry a tight smile.

It took them about five minutes to unfreeze from their spots and continue their path to the front door. Barry bit his bottom lip and looked at Hunter. "I really do trust you, and I know Joe threatened you, but he won't actually do anything. Joe's more bark than bite, but he still might do something if you hurt me. But I doubt you will."

"Good, because I won't." Hunter kissed Barry's forehead. "I'll text you later, alright? After I get my heart to stop threatening to burst out of my chest enough for me to fall asleep."

Barry chuckled softly, opening the front door. "Drive safely, alright? I don't need you getting arrested for speeding. I have a feeling Joe would find any excuse possible to keep you behind bars longer than you need to."

Hunter fondly rolled his eyes. "I don't doubt that. I'll see you later."

"Bye." After sharing another kiss, Hunter was bounding out the door and towards his car.

Turning around, Barry was startled to see Iris standing at the bottom of the stairs. "Is everyone in this house trying to give me heart attack tonight?"

"Sorry," Iris said, laughing softly. She glanced out the window to see Hunter's car retreating, and let out a sigh. "I hope you know what you're doing, Bear."

Barry followed Iris' gaze, and let out a soft sigh of his own. "I do, Iris. Trust me."

"I do trust you, that's not the problem." She crossed her arms and walked closer to her foster brother. "It's not you I'm having problems with. It's him."

"I understand that. I know what I'm doing, Iris," Barry repeated.

Iris' eyes scanned his face a moment before nodding. She pulled him into a hug, holding him close. "I don't want to see you getting hurt again. Especially so soon after Blaine."

"I know," Barry whispered, rubbing Iris' back. "I know you're all worried, I get that. I just...want another chance at happiness. I'm tired of being all over Oliver and continuously getting my heart broken because of that."

Iris pulled back, but left her hands on his shoulder. "In a way, I'm glad you're doing something about getting over him. Felicity apologizes, by the way, for what she said. She didn't mean to sound so harsh."

"I know, I'm not mad at her about anything." Barry kissed Iris' cheek. "I understand where she's coming from."

"I just want you to be happy and okay," Iris said softly.

"I know. Again, I wish I wasn't gay so I could just marry you." Barry buried his face into the crook of Iris' neck, causing the girl to laugh.

"Stupid boys. Being so attractive and all that." Iris was gently carding her fingers through Barry's hair, smiling as Barry just laughed.

"I know right? So unfair."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still no happiness for the bubs, but everything's out in the open now, so hopefully they'll figure out a way to work out their shit and get together, LOL
> 
> again, i wont be able to update next week, so i tried not to leave you hanging with too much (:


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, my trip got pushed back a day, and in an attempt to make myself stop pouting, i wrote this chapter
> 
> honestly i should be asleep because we're getting up early, but fuck sleep, amiright (((((((':
> 
> this chapter isn't very felicity friendly, and im sorry for that. i love her, i promise

The break-up happened near the end of September.

Barry was getting into the hang of things being in his third year of college, so he honestly wasn't paying much attention to anybody he didn't see on a daily basis. It was Iris who had mentioned it to him, and it took Barry by surprise.

"Felicity and Oliver broke up? I thought they were a match made in heaven," Barry said, a tightness in his chest loosening at the news. Both Barry and Iris had recently gotten more shifts at Jitters, so Barry was taken off guard when he realised he hadn't seen Felicity at work much lately.

"Yeah. Ever since the whole incident when you got back with Hunter, they've been fighting a lot. Oliver didn't like the way she handled things with you, and she didn't like how he was getting so defensive about you." Iris snorted as she made a coffee for a customer. "You cause problems wherever you go, don't you?"

"I don't try to," Barry said with a laugh. He was quiet a moment as he rang up the customer in front of him. "It isn't my fault I just so happen to be what they fought about." Once the customer left, Barry turned to face Iris fully. "If I'm why they fought, then how am I the last to hear about it? You'd figure Felicity would come storming in to yell at me or something."

"I honestly don't know. She's been weird around you lately since you admitted you had feelings for Oliver. I'm not surprised she requested to not share any shifts with you."

Barry's head snapped up, eyebrows furrowed. "Wait, what? Is that why I haven't seen her around?"

Iris nodded. "Since Felicity can't be your usual work partner anymore, Jill's having us work together now."

"I figured, I just...why? Is this whole thing the reason why Felicity hasn't been answering any of my texts?"

"Probably. Did you know she didn't sign up for any classes this semester? I think Caitlin mentioned something about her moving back home to Starling, but I can't be certain." Iris sighed, wiping her hands dry with a random towel they had laying in the back. "Honestly, Barry, I wouldn't worry too much about Felicity anymore, she's made it clear where her priorities lie."

"Well, yeah, but still. I'm losing a friend over a _guy_. That's something I never thought would happen once we left middle school," Barry stated, quirking an eyebrow. "Hell, even high school would be more normal than having this happen in college."

"I know. But just think, if this hadn't happened, who knows if we ever would've known what she was really like. I'm not trying to say she's a bad person, because she's really not, she just has some...skewed points of view. One of which being her stance on your feelings for Oliver," Iris tried explaining, her face twisting up in a bit of confusion afterwards. "Ugh, I confused myself. Bottom line: Felicity is not a bad person, she just makes bad decisions."

Barry bit his bottom lip in thought before releasing it with a sigh. "Oliver's single now, and I'm with Hunter. Why does the universe keep screwing things up for me? I'm starting to be convinced that it just hates me."

Iris chuckled softly, lightly bumping Barry's hip with her own. "I know, I'm sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I think Dad's starting to lighten up a bit around Hunter. Neither him nor I exactly trust him yet, we're both still waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under you, but things are...better."

"I don't think Joe will ever fully like Hunter again."

"Can you blame him? Us?" Iris asked, chuckling a little. "He cheated on you, we can't exactly ignore that. Plus the whole saying 'once a cheater, always a cheater' doesn't help. Granted, that's not always the case, but I know for a fact that Dad mumbles it whenever he hears news about Hunter."

Smiling a little, Barry leaned against the front counter and let Iris change topics and start talking about her new classes, and how she shares one with Eddie. Deciding he didn't need to really partake in the conversation, Barry allowed his mind to wander.

Iris did make a fair point. There was little doubt that the two of them would ever trust Hunter again. And even if they did, it'd take more than just a few months to earn it back. It then brought him back to him. Why was he so willing to trust Hunter? Was it the mere fact he was trying to get over a broken heart from being cheated on, but also trying to get over someone he was convinced he'd never be with? In all honesty, the situation gave him a bit of headache. He just desperately wished life would make sense for him, and stop all the drama that seemed to constantly head his way. It was like he had a giant sign on his forehead that read _'please come fuck up my life'_.

A couple weeks later, Barry found himself having a one-on-one training session with Oliver. Iris hadn't been able to make it, her schedule more packed than it was when they started the at home self-defense training. Oliver himself seemed rather distracted, and Barry had accidentally hit him too hard in the face a few times, knocking him out of whatever trace he seemed to be under.

"Ollie, are you okay? I've been able to hit you pretty hard without my ass getting handed back to me. I'm getting worried," Barry said, taking a long drink of his water without taking his eyes off the older man.

"Yeah, sorry, I'm just..." Oliver waved a hand around uselessly. "I'm assuming you've been told about Felicity and I?"

"Yeah." Barry's voice was soft as he slowly stepped closer to Oliver. "Ollie, I'm so sorry."

"No, it's not your fault."

Barry quirked an eyebrow. "A little birdy told me that it is."

Chuckling, Oliver just shook his head, amused. "Okay, yeah. You are partially at fault. But I don't blame you. Everything that happened, well. It was mostly my fault."

"How is anything that happened your fault? If anything, I should be apologizing to you for getting in the middle of your relationship," Barry said honestly. "Don't beat yourself up over this. Or let me beat you up over this."

Oliver just smiled at Barry. "You're an amazing person, Bear."

"I know," Barry replied with a wide grin. "Look, Ollie, I really am sorry for being part of the reason you and Felicity broke up. I didn't mean to make my feelings for you get in the way. I know you wanted to marry her."

"That's the thing, though. I didn't. Want to marry her, that is," Oliver admitted, looking like the world was off his shoulders at the confession. "I just...honestly I proposed because Felicity kept dropping hints, and I wanted to get her off my back. It didn't help that I didn't really want her to figure out that I developed feelings for you."

Barry's cheeks burned hotly, but he ignored it. "Oliver, you shouldn't do something so big just to make someone else happy. To make a marriage work, you have to both be willing to go into it. Just because Felicity wanted to get married didn't mean it needed to be a necessary thing. Your happiness matters, too, and I hate seeing you beating yourself up over this."

Smiling sadly, Oliver nodded in agreement to Barry's words. "I have this friend, Laurel, who always liked to tell me that I never seemed to make my own happiness important to myself. And, in the end, it'd be the reason for my downfall."

"She sounds like she knows what she's talking about." Barry gave him a small smile. "Your happiness matters, too, Ollie. I hate to think you're not taking care of yourself just to let someone else walk all over you."

They stared at each other a minute, their intense eye contact slowly making the air around them slowly electrify. He wasn't sure who initiated it, but suddenly there were lips on Barry's. Moaning softly, Barry tangled his fingers in Oliver's short blond hair, kissing the man back for all he was worth. And for a short, brief, moment, Barry felt like everything had finally fallen into place.

Unfortunately, reality snapped back to Barry and he found himself pushing Oliver away. His eyes were wide, and he felt his hands shaking a bit as the reality of what he did settled over him. "Ollie, I can't. I _can't_. I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of all this. I can't hurt Hunter the way he's hurt me in the past. As much as I really enjoyed kissing you, and I really do want to do it again, I can't cheat on Hunter. I shouldn't have even kissed you back."

Oliver was quiet, the words sinking into him. Finally, he nodded. "I understand," he said. He sounded upset, but also like he knew the reality of the situation, and how it was _not good_. But, just because he knew what had to happen and it would be the right thing to do, it didn't make the hurt anymore bearable.

"I'm sorry."

"No, Barry, don't apologize. You're doing the right thing." The smile Oliver gave Barry was strained, and it made his heart ache. "I should apologize for kissing you even though I know you already have a boyfriend."

Barry swallowed harshly around the lump in his throat. "I'm still sorry. I kissed you back."

"Barry, stop being yourself for like five seconds," Oliver teased, but it fell a little flat. "It's...mostly my fault, alright? Yeah, you kissed me back, but I'm the one who instigated it."

"Are you sure you're not just saying that to make me feel better?" Barry asked softly, quirking an eyebrow.

"I promise you I'm not," Oliver replied. He took a shaky breath, letting the water bottle he was holding fall back to the ground. "Let's finish training for the day and then get some food."

Watching Oliver a minute, Barry stood in his spot. Oliver was clearly upset, but he didn't want to talk about it. And Barry knew enough about his own personal experiences to know to not to push. Still, though, Barry felt bad about leading him on. He _did_ kiss him back, he was at least partially at fault for the situation.

Later on, as Barry's wrapped in Hunter's arms in bed, he wished, not for the first time, that the arms around his waist were Oliver's.

**~*~**

Felicity was skilled at avoiding Barry at all costs. She still worked at Jitters, but every time Barry tried talking to her, she'd vanish. Caitlin was right, as it turned out, that Felicity was planning on moving back home with her parents. It stung a bit, knowing he was at least part of the reason why she was no longer getting married. As a way to get back, Felicity had left a bag full of wedding magazines on his front porch. It made Joe a little upset, but Barry just brushed it off. Instead of getting upset, he just threw the bag away and continued onto school.

Hunter continued being none the wiser about the kiss between Barry and Oliver, but it was eating Barry up from the inside out. He _hated_ it. Even at just a simple kiss, Barry couldn't even begin to fathom how people did more for longer. How Hunter even did it to him for a solid year. Blaine, Barry knew, would probably spit it out as soon as he could, had it not been for Barry catching up as it was happening.

Barry's phone felt like it was burning a hole in his pocket. It was almost as if he could physically feel the weight of the two numbers on him. Because of his minor, Barry did have a couple similar classes with Blaine, but he did his absolute best to avoid interacting with him, or even looking in his general direction. Barry didn't let their personal life interfere with his schooling, and Blaine did the same for Barry. He saw Kurt a couple times around campus, with Blaine, but he never went over to say hi.

Even as the temperature continued dropping, Barry rarely left the comfort of his room. Autumn was his favorite season, but he couldn't find himself to be bothered with any festivities.

"Bear, c'mon, the fair's going to be in the next town over this weekend, and you're sitting in your room like a bump on a log," Hunter said, gently poking Barry's side.

Barry squirmed a little, smiling into the pillow under his head. "I can still be here today if it isn't until this weekend."

Hunter rolled his eyes fondly. "C'mon, babe, you and I haven't spent much time together recently. I miss you."

Barry chewed on his bottom lip as he sat up next to a now pleased Hunter. "I kissed Oliver two weeks ago," he whispered, unable to hold in any longer.

The smile on Hunter's face slowly dipped until it was completely gone. The blank look on his face was startling to Barry. Hunter was usually extremely easy to read, unless he was in one of his moods, then the calm before the storm was more than frightening.

"I feel like I shouldn't even be allowed to feel upset," Hunter said quietly.

"I really didn't mean to. I pushed him away when I realised what was happening," Barry explained, taking one of Hunter's hands into his own.

Hunter didn't move his hand. "Barry, I...I know you have feelings for Oliver, but I thought they were starting to go away. You even told me as much."

"I lied," Barry whispered, feeling tears collect in his eyes. "Hunter, I'm so sorry. I told him I couldn't do it. Not after knowing how it felt when I found out about you. I couldn't ever do it to someone else. It's been eating me up these past two weeks."

"Then why didn't you say anything sooner?"

"Because I was scared. I don't want to lose you, Hunter." Barry hiccuped softly, feelings the tears fall down his cheeks. "And I'm trying so hard to get over Oliver. First Blaine, and then you, but it's just _so hard_. It feels like everything I'm trying isn't working, and I'll still be as in love with Oliver years from now as I am right now. And what scares me the most is I don't even know who I'll even be with years from now. But no matter what I do, he'll always have my heart. I'm so sorry."

The room was quiet after Barry's confession. He felt insanely lighter admitting that, yeah, he was in love with Oliver. But he also felt insanely guilty because here was a man who was doing everything in his power to make Barry happy, and love him instead, only to find out it was pointless in the end. No matter what happened between him and Hunter, Barry always knew he'd still feel the guilt of kissing Oliver while with him, and basically confessing that Barry would never love him again. In the past, yes, Barry was head over heels for him. But that was in the past, and Barry was fairly certain Oliver was his soulmate by this point.

"Barry," Hunter whispered. "I'm not...I'm not mad at you."

Barry's eyes snapped to Hunter's, feeling relief at his words, but also unworthy of hearing them. "Hunter, I-"

"No, don't." Hunter gently wiped away Barry's tears, sighing softly. "Getting back together with you would always be rocky, I knew that. I knew your heart belonged to Oliver when we met again. I just hoped I'd be able to earn it back."

"I love you, Hunter."

"You love him more."

The words, as simple as they were, struck deep with Barry. He knew for a fact that Hunter was telling the truth. As stubborn as he was, he almost didn't even want to believe them. No matter how hard Barry tried to get his heart to stop hurting, it never would until it got what it wanted.

"What does that mean for us, then?" Barry asked softly.

"I think you already know the answer to that," Hunter answered. He gave Barry a weak smile before giving him one last, sweet kiss. "I love you."

Watching Hunter walk out of his room was one of the hardest things for Barry to accept. He didn't want the man out of his life, but things would be awkward and tense for awhile. Not responding to Hunter probably stung a little bit, and it didn't help that Hunter had been hurt enough that night.

Curling himself in his comforter, Barry willed himself to fall asleep.

**~*~**

"Iris, this place is so pricey, and there aren't even that many good rides," Barry complained, pouting a little as he watched the fairgrounds grow closer.

"Yes, whiny. Our friends are meeting us there," Iris replied, a smile on her face. "You need to get out of the house. Ever since your break-up with Hunter, your skin has barely seen the light of day. I'm surprised you even skipped classes. You _never_ do that. It even got Dad worried."

Barry smiled down at his lap. Going to the fair was a decent idea, and seeing his friends never failed in cheering him up. It wasn't even that he didn't want to go, because he did, he just didn't want to run into anybody he's dated the past year. It was bad enough that Barry had two break-ups within a six month span, the last thing he needed was awkward encounters.

"It'll be fun, Bear," Iris said, her voice soft.

Barry gave her a genuine smile as she pulled up to a booth to pay for parking. Once they found a spot in the insanity that was the fairground's parking lot, they made their way to the large grey barn where they had agreed to all meet. There was a decent amount of people already there. It being the first day more than likely didn't help any.

"I was thinking we could look at all the animals before heading to the food booths to grab a bite to eat," Cisco explained. "I don't know about any of you, but I can't handle the smell of the animals after I just ate."

"No arguments here," Iris agreed with a laugh. She gently squeezed Barry's arm before grabbing Eddie's hand as their group walked into the barn they were standing in front of.

"Are you alright?" Oliver asked Barry as they walked between the rows of different cows.

Barry stared at a large brown cow for awhile before he answered. "I've had better days." He took a shaky breath. "Hunter and I broke up, but I suppose you already knew that."

"I did," Oliver confirmed. "If you don't mind, may I ask why?"

Not wanting to get too far from the group, but also not wanting them to overhear, Barry walked a little bit slower. "You."

"What is it with break-ups and each other?" Oliver joked.

The smile on Barry's face was weak, and both of them could see right through it. He suddenly stopped them, apologizing to an older woman who was walking behind them. Meeting Oliver's eyes, he took a breath. "I love you, Oliver. And for how long, I don't even know. But right now, I can't handle a relationship. I just got over Blaine, and I'm trying to get over Hunter right now. As much as I truly do care for you, I cared for them, too. So this is really hard for me right now. Honestly, I shouldn't even have gotten with Hunter so soon after Blaine, but here we are. I want to be with you, I really do. Just...not right now."

"But at some future point?" Oliver asked hopefully.

"At some future point," Barry easily agreed. "And besides, you just broke up with Felicity. You were _engaged_ to her, Oliver. As much as I know you have feelings for me, I know you still loved her at some point, so you have some healing of your own to do."

"Do you think the kiss we had was a mistake?"

Barry shifted from foot to foot. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see their group had stopped and were looking for them. One of them must've spotted them talking because they didn't move from where they were. Barry himself was looking everywhere but at Oliver.

"I don't...this is an unfair question." Barry balled his hands into fists before meeting Oliver's eyes once more. "You and I both know we both wanted that kiss. That kiss at the party would never be enough for us, and we're both aware of that. It just shouldn't have happened when it did. It was terrible timing. So...the timing was a mistake."

Oliver nodded, staring down at the ground. "C'mon. They're all waiting for us." He walked away, leaving Barry standing there and staring off into space.

Logically, Barry knew starting another relationship when both of them were so fresh out of the last one was a good idea. But he also knew how desperately he wanted to call Oliver his, and how long the both of them had waited already. Barry's heart constricted in his chest, as if it itself was yelling at Barry's brain for its sound logic. Even so, Barry wished that, for once, the universe would work in his favor. He hadn't been kidding when he said he was convinced it hated him.

Later on, he end up telling Iris what happened as they waited in line for too greasy overpriced pizza. She agreed with him, which he figured, but also teased him a little for _finally_ admitting to his feelings. Felicity had moved back to Starling the previous day, her two week's notice having been put in shortly before Barry and Oliver had kissed. He was also fairly certain she blocked his number, but he had no way to prove it.

Being at the fair proved to be a welcome distraction, in the end. The price for tickets nearly made Barry weep as he handed over the cash to pay for it. Cisco was too chicken to ride any of them, so he was off in the game booths with Oliver, Caitlin, and Mike. Iris, Eddie, Kara, and himself rode as many rides as they could without getting sick and with what they could get on with the tickets they had. After close to two hours later, the group once again found themselves together as they wandered through the games.

It was nearly completely dark out. The crowd had thinned significantly, and if the loud music was any indication, many of them had gone to the concert that was being held there. Cisco was carrying a ridiculously oversized green bear, but he was happy and babbling away to a tired Caitlin about how bears hibernated. Kara and Mike were talking about heading home soon. They had a family gathering to go to the next day and they still had to make a dish to bring. Oliver himself was carrying a smaller bear, similar to Cisco's but in pink, and he only looked a tad ridiculous carrying around a pink stuffed animal.

"That's extremely manly, by the way," Barry joked, lightly elbowing Oliver's side. "It suits you."

A smirk suddenly found its way to Oliver's face, and he handed over the bear with a completely straight face. "It's for you," he stated.

Barry's face turned as bright of a red as the shirt he was wearing as he accepted the bear. "Thank you," he said with a smile, kissing Oliver's cheek. Oliver himself blushed, bringing a satisfied smile to Barry's face. "I hope you didn't spend too much money on the game to get this."

"Nah. It was only one of those point and shoot ones. It had boats racing," Oliver said with a laugh. "Won the only time I played it."

Barry hummed softly, smiling at him as they stopped at one of the booths. It was the impossible ring game, and Iris, Kara, and Mike were all determined to at least get one on a bottle. Barry highly doubted any of them would, but he cheered them on nonetheless. Being around his friend always made his heart feel lighter, and in one of the best ways possible. By the end of the night, his cheeks were sore from how much he was smiling and laughing.

It was one of the best feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bit of angst, as usual with this, but finally!! fluff!! sorry it's so short. i didn't want to cram it with too much in one chaper
> 
> also was thinking to maybe posting more than once a week?? like around two?? obviously that will only happen if i have the time and motivation to, but im getting bored of waiting a week to write and post??
> 
> also, if you haven't noticed, i don't edit. dsjfksdkfj. if you see any glaring spelling or grammar errors, please tell me!! (:


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like i need to apologize for always putting notes at the beginning and end of every chapter, lmao, but oh well
> 
> i was without service for a few days, and i got bored lol, so this is completely written on my phone. sorry for any errors
> 
> also this is more of a filler type of chapter, lmao

If there was anything Barry loved the most in life, it was the calming atmosphere of a library. From the smell of books, to the quietness that covered his body from head to toe, Barry was hooked. If he didn't have anything planned for the day, or even the night, he'd always find himself in the university's library until the kind old lady behind the desk had to shoo him out. Margret knew him well enough that she was long past thinking Barry might be up to anything, with how often and late he found himself there, and instead teased him for yet again getting lost in the worlds of books. Often enough, Margret would even let him check out whatever book he had in his hands, despite it being past the time the doors should've already been locked.

It was where Barry found himself currently. He was in the middle of some murder mystery story that wasn't very good, when he could hear the chatter of a group enter the library. As usual, Margret shushed them, reminding them gently that there were students either reading or studying for tests, and they quickly calmed down. It was hard to get mad at Margret. She was insanely too sweet for her own good. Out of the corner of his eye, Barry could see one of the guys watching him. He was dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans and a loose grey hoodie, the hood of it on the verge of falling off the top of his head. His blond hair fell into his eyes, and Barry was too busy pretending to read his book to get the color of his eyes. The feeling of being watched passed soon enough, and the group disappeared behind a wall of books. Barry let out a breath he hadn't realised he had been holding, and went back to his book.

When the time for the library to close came, Barry closed the book without bothering to remember what it was before sliding it back into the spot he found it. Usually, if he was in the middle of reading a book, he'd check it out and take it home, but the book wasn't very interesting, and it didn't really keep his attention, so he simply slipped it back into its slot. He gave a friendly wave to Margret as he passed, a smile finding its way onto his face as Margret just grinned at him.

As he walked out of the older building, Barry could once again feel eyes on him, but he ignored it. Continuing in his path, Barry started his walk back home. It was times like the current that he wished he had a car to get him to and from the school. As it was, Barry couldn't exactly afford to get a car. Anything he made went towards paying towards school, or any miscellaneous bills he had to pay. The last thing he needed was to pay for all the expenses of school. Jitters only paid so much, and he was already wondering if he needed to pick up another job to pay for everything.

Footsteps could be heard behind him, making Barry's heartbeat pick up. Oliver had taught him enough in self-defense that if he needed to, Barry could at least hold his own until help came, if needed. Fumbling a bit, Barry pulled his phone out, dialing Oliver's number without second thought. When the older man picked up, Barry let out a shaky breath.

"Hey, Ollie, I might need a ride home tonight," he said, keeping his legs moving quickly. He couldn't stop.

 _"Yeah, of course. Where are you?"_ Oliver said, his voice bringing relief to Barry.

"I'm heading from the library at CCU," Barry answered quietly. "I don't...I can't stop moving, though, so look for me somewhere on the same street."

Picking up on the urgency, Barry could hear Oliver grabbing his motorcycle keys and the rustle of fabric signaling he was rushing out the door. _"I'm on my way. You think you'll be okay until I pick you up?"_

"Yeah. I'm fine right now. Please hurry, though."

_"Yeah, of course. I'll be there as soon as I can."_

"Thank you."

His legs were moving quickly, pushing him to walk as fast as he could without full out running. The footsteps still sounded behind him, letting him that he was still being followed. By who, exactly, Barry didn't know. Wasn't sure he wanted to find out either, to be completely honest. In the distance, Barry could hear the roar of a motorcycle. More than likely, it was Oliver's, the man looking for Barry along the road. Barry kept his gaze ahead of him, seeing the four way stop up ahead, and wondering if Oliver would see him before that.

"Barry!"

Squeaking loudly, Barry turned wide eyed towards the noise, relaxing when he noticed it was just Oliver on his motorcycle. "Oh, thank god," he muttered, walking to Oliver. He risked a glance behind him, not really seeing anybody. Slipping on the helmet Oliver handed him, Barry tried to hide the shaking in his hands. He got onto the bike behind Oliver, clinging onto him tightly as the older man took off.

By the time they had reached Barry's house, the shaking in his hands had stopped and he felt a lot more calm. Oliver turned off the bike and they both climbed off.

"Thank you," Barry said, setting the helmet he wore awkwardly on the bike. "Did you see anyone behind me?"

"No. Sorry, Barry," Oliver replied, giving him a small smile. "I'm glad you're okay, though."

"Me too." Barry let out a soft breath. "I hope i wasn't interrupting anything. By calling you."

"You weren't, I promise. I was just at home watching _Avengers_." Oliver chuckled softly.

"It is a good movie," Barry said, grinning. "If you didn't get to me in time, you've taught me enough self-defense to allow me to at least hold my own until you did get there."

"Not for long, I imagine. You're rather scrawny," Oliver teased, lightly pinching Barry's arm.

"Hey!" Barry protested, laughing. "I can hold my own for a little bit."

The two of them just stood there grinning like idiots. There was a light flush on Barry's cheeks as he stared into Oliver's intense blue eyes. Barry bit his bottom lip, his blush intensifying when he noticed Oliver's eyes flicker down to his lips. Subconsciously, Barry moved closer to Oliver, their heads close to one another. Barry mouthed 'please' before Oliver pressed their lips together in a soft kiss. Humming softly, Barry set his hands on Oliver's shoulders, moving their lips together slowly. When they pulled apart, Barry was grinning widely at the other man.

"Wow," he breathed out, chuckling softly afterwards. "Our third kiss, and every kiss seems to get better than the last. I didn't even think that was possible."

Oliver gently cupped Barry's face. "I feel the same way."

Barry looked into Oliver's eyes before letting out a soft sigh. "I...about the fair..."

"I know you still mean it, Barry. It's okay, alright? I understand." Oliver chuckled softly, rubbing his cheek with his thumb gently. "I enjoy kissing you, and not expecting anything out of it. I'll never push you to do anything you don't want to."

"Thank you," Barry whispered. "I really do want to be with you, Ollie, I just...I'm not sure I can handle it right now."

Oliver pressed a kiss to Barry's forehead before pulling away completely. "I'll be here whenever you're ready," he said, smiling. "I'll wait forever for you, Barry Allen."

"I don't deserve you, Oliver Queen."

Oliver smiled sadly. "I don't deserve you, Barry."

Watching him pull out of the driveway, Barry let out a shaky breath, feeling like everything in the world was working against him in some way. At least, now, he knew that one day, whenever it may be, Oliver would be there for him. Biting his bottom lip, Barry smiled to himself before heading into the house.

**~*~**

Even in the early hours of the morning, Barry was still lying awake. He had tossed and turned all night long, only getting a few blinks of sleep before he shook himself awake. Mind wandering back to the previous night, Barry briefly wondered what exactly could have him so paranoid. Sure, he was well aware of the fact that crime in Central City had increased, but he didn't think it was enough to make him paranoid. Plus, crime in Central had nothing on the crime in the neighboring city of Starling. It was only a matter of time before they went hand-in-hand, but Barry was confident it wouldn't ever get _that_ bad. Still, though, ever since Barry almost got robbed, walking the city at night always left him on edge.

The clock on his nightstand read _7:00 AM_ , and Barry was aware of the fact that he wouldn't be getting anymore sleep. Crawling out of bed, Barry grabbed a random set of clean clothes and headed towards the bathroom, where he got ready for school. His first class wasn't until ten, but he still needed something to do before he went mad with boredom. By the time he was out, he had managed to waste about forty minutes before heading downstairs to the kitchen.

Iris was still asleep, but Joe must've left work while Barry was still in the shower. The coffee pot had been left on, a fresh brew still in the pot. Pouring himself a cup, Barry hummed softly to himself. He never liked the silence of the early morning. There was always something unsettling about it. Nevertheless, Barry poured himself a mug of coffee before he decided to be a bit spontaneous and make breakfast for him and Iris. Knowing Iris, she wouldn't be up for another hour, so he had plenty of time to make pancakes from scratch before she stumbled down the stairs.

Playing music softly from his phone, Barry hummed along to the soothing music, his hands busy making breakfast. Both his mind and hands were occupied, so there was little time for him to worry about things at the moment. Some things, yes, he was certain would have to be addressed at some point. But in that moment, he felt free. Free of both responsibility and worries.

As predicted, Iris walked into the kitchen at roughly nine. Her hair a tangled mess on top of her head, and her sleep clothes slightly askew on her slim body. Barry smiled at her before pointing towards the coffee maker where he had made her a fresh pot. Smiling in thanks, Iris quietly made herself a cup before leaning against the counter to watch Barry finish up cooking.

"What's the occasion?" she asked, pleased at the sight of the carton of strawberries and blueberries sitting on the counter near Barry. "I can't even remember the last time you made blueberry pancakes. Are they from scratch, or the box?"

"Scratch. I couldn't sleep, so I had the time to make them. My class isn't until ten today, so." Barry shrugged, plating a couple of pancakes before setting a couple strawberries on the plate and handing it to Iris. "Syrup is still in the fridge, but the butter is somewhere on the counter."

Iris grinned, accepting the plate and setting it on the island. She grabbed the butter container and slathered the pancakes in it before practically drowning them in maple syrup.

"Would you like pancakes with your syrup?" Barry teased, plating some for himself before turning the stove off. "There's some batter leftover, but it can always be kept in the fridge for a bit. Joe can always make it for dinner tonight."

"I love your pancakes. They're so good," Iris said. She took a bite and let out a groan of approval. "Are you sure you don't want to be a chef? I'm sure people would be lining up to get a bite of these. Kara can easily pack these puppies away."

"Which is why when I make them when friends are over, it's usually a large batch." Barry laughed, eating a strawberry. "What time is your class today?"

"Not until like one." Iris waved a hand. "I don't think we'll see each other until later, anyway. I promised Eddie I'd go over his research paper today. He's been stressing over it for the past week and I'm about ready to smack him over the head with it."

Barry chuckled. "Kara may be able to help, too, if he really needs it. I know you both are journalism majors, but she totally geeks out at the prospect of editing someone's paper. I keep telling her she'd be a great editor, but she's got her sights set."

"I hope we'll work together one day," Iris said, smiling. "Can you imagine? The two of us both working at the Picture News here in Central."

"You'd cause a lot of havoc," Barry agreed, laughing. "Hey, Iris. How'd you know Eddie was the one for you?"

Iris smiled kindly at him, setting her fork down. "Well. I didn't know right away, of course. It took a lot of work and convincing on his part to get me to even agree to go on a date with him."

"I remember that. He came to me while I was at work, begging me for date ideas. Had to turn him away and tell him to come up with something himself."

"Yeah, well, he ended up coming up with something simple, but romantic. And ever since then, he'll do these small things that make me feel like I'm on that first date all over again." She smiled as she took a sip of her coffee. "Honestly, Barry. If there's someone out there that makes you smile like no other, and you just enjoy being in their company, I wouldn't give that up."

"Yeah, well, considering everything that's been happening lately, I'm kind of...hesitant to start anything right now."

Humming softly, Iris just looked at Barry a moment before speaking again. "I get that, I really do. But just know that not being in a relationship right now won't be the end of the world. And if he truly wants to be with you, then he'll wait. Because all the best people are worth waiting for."

Barry blushed lightly, thinking of the conversation he had with Oliver just the night before. The thought of the man's words made his heart race happily in his chest. Every time he seemed to be around the older man, his heart decided to acrobats. While it wasn't a bad thing, it still made him blush and smile uncontrollably. If Barry had to admit it to himself, he was fairly sure he had passed the point of no return.

He was in love with Oliver Queen.

Still, though. His heart had been through too much recently for Barry to even consider anything serious for the moment. While he knew what he wanted with Oliver, and he was certain Oliver felt just as strongly, Barry wasn't convinced it was worth it to go through all that. For the time, anyway. As jumpy as his heart was, it still needed time to heal. Blaine had broken his heart. He really had loved the man, despite the short time they were together. Barry was certain Blaine would be the one to help him get over his (at the time) crush on Oliver. But then his feelings for Oliver got in the way, and Blaine went running to someone else.

Then there was Hunter to think about. They had a history together, and while Barry had been incredibly hurt by him, there would always be something between them that Barry would always feel. He was sure Hunter still felt it, too, if them getting back together was anything to go by. They had been each other's firsts for pretty much everything. But this time around, Barry's heart just couldn't get into it. While he would always have a place in his heart for the man, his heart now belonged to Oliver.

Oliver had feelings for Barry back, if anything that happened recently was anything to go by. Felicity would always feel a bit of resentment towards Barry, and while he understood, it didn't mean he wasn't still saddened by the loss of a close friend. Ever since the pair split, it was rare for either male to even hear from her. It'd be awhile for her to mend her broken heart to even consider talking to the two people who were the cause of it. Even so, Barry knew Oliver was still partially in love with Felicity yet. It'd be stupid to even assume otherwise. As much as Oliver liked to say it was all Felicity that wanted to get married, there was still a part of him that wanted it, too, for the push to propose to her to happen.

The whole prospect of the past year made Barry's head ache, and he was certain all his friends wanted now was for it all to be settled. He didn't blame them– he wanted that, too. Happiness was always something that'd be just out of his reach, and he was starting to get desperate to obtain it. Even as he sat at the island eating pancakes with Iris, he didn't really feel complete. And he knew for a fact that having a boyfriend wasn't necessary for him to be happy. He was determined to prove the palm reader (he was eight, and the circus was in town) wrong. She had said something about Barry either never finding happiness, or taking years for him to find anything.

Barry was happy. He really was. All his friends and family were in his life (his saw his dad enough for it to count), and they genuinely made him happy. The only mess in his life was his love life, and even that wasn't the end of the world. Despite the complications, Barry did have a guy who loved him, and he loved back. To him, that really _was_ simple enough. Too bad his life was so much of a tangled mess at the moment for anything to really happen.

**~*~**

"Hey, Barry. I need to talk to you," Joe said, looking up from where he was sat on the couch. He muted the TV and gestured to the other couch for Barry to sit. "I may have a break in your dad's case."

Barry was frozen in his spot. "Wait, really?"

Smiling, Joe nodded. "They caught a guy sometime last week robbing another house. He fits the description you gave when you were young, and the kid in the house confirms it. Get this– the guy slipped out one of the windows, and there was no proof of it outside. The only reason we found out the truth was the family had a camera set up on their garage."

"That's not much to go on." Barry made a face. "Plus, the guy's had to have changed in the ten years since it's happened. How do you even know it's the same guy?"

"A lot of similarities, mostly. Luckily, no one in the family got fatally injured, and the husband caught a decent enough look at the man," Joe explained. "When we catch him, I'm hoping he confesses."

"But until he does, you're pretty much grasping at straws," Barry concluded. "Well. Thanks for telling me anyway, I appreciate it."

"We'll catch him, Bear, I promise you that," Joe said, smiling.

"I also appreciate you believing me, though. It means a lot that you're one of the few who doesn't believe it's my dad who killed her," Barry said, pulling at a loose string on his jeans. "Not a lot of people do, and it comforts me to think that you're one of them."

"Of course, Barry."

"Speaking of, is there anything I can help with down at CCPD? I need someway to make more money, but if it's all volunteer work, that's fine, too. It'll be a nice way to get my foot in the door there," Barry said, looking up from his lap.

Joe hummed in thought. "Not that I'm aware of, but I do think that that one nice restaurant down the street from CCPD is hiring. They're looking for more waiters, if I'm right."

"Better than nothing," Barry stated. "Thanks for letting me live here still, by the way."

"You're no bother, Barry, I promise. Neither is Iris, if she asks," Joe said quickly, laughing afterwards.

Barry laughed as well. "I'll be out as soon as I graduate, though. Sooner, if possible, but right now, it'll save me money living at home. Quicker to pay off loans and all that. Although, the school is giving me a decent scholarship, it still doesn't cover _everything_."

"You sure you have the time for a second job?" Joe asked, worried.

"I'll manage." Barry played with his bottom lip. "I need a car. I think someone was following me the other night."

Joe's eyebrows raised. "Why do you think that?"

"I heard footsteps behind me as I was leaving the library. I end up calling Oliver for a ride home," Barry explained. "I was too spooked to walk the rest of the way."

"Well, I'm happy you called for a ride. I don't know if I want you walking alone at night anymore. If you plan on staying late anywhere, then ask someone to come with you."

"I'm fine, Joe. I just got spooked."

"I know about the almost mugging, Barry. Iris told me not long after it happened. I was just waiting for you to tell me, and then it slipped my mind. But hearing this, now, I don't want you to be anywhere alone at night," Joe stated sternly, looking at Barry.

Letting out a sigh, Barry nodded. He didn't really want an argument right now, especially considering Joe's heart was in the right place. "Alright. If I go anywhere late, I'll just ask Oliver."

"Thank you. I'm trusting him more and more, you know. He's a good kid."

Barry smiled, blushing a little. "Yeah, I know. I'm glad I met him, even if the circumstances were a little weird. And continue being a little weird when it comes to the two of us."

"You really like him, don't you?" Joe asked, smiling fondly.

Blush deepening, all Barry could do was nod in agreement. He remembered, when he was younger, coming out to Joe.

_-six years ago-_

_Fourteen year old Barry sat nervously at the table, watching Joe as he cooked dinner for the three of them. There was something weighing heavily on Barry's mind, and he knew Joe could tell. But Joe being Joe, the man didn't push Barry to talk about it. He knew from experience that Barry would eventually come forward and tell him himself._

_Joe was silent as he worked, leaving Barry to his own thoughts. Barry himself was a mess of nerves. He was already aware that Joe would never do anything extreme to him, but he couldn't help but feel scared that Joe wouldn't accept him. Being gay was a lot different than being the kid of an accused murderer._

_"J-Joe?" Barry stuttered out, swallowing thickly as Joe just hummed in acknowledgement. "No, Joe, can you look at me a minute, please?"_

_Doing as requested, Joe turned and looked at the nervous Barry. He didn't speak, waiting for Barry to continue on with what he was going to say._

_"So, like. I've had these, like, really weird feelings lately. And I didn't really know what to do with them, or what to make of them. But like...I've done a lot of thinking the past year or so. And I'm, um...I'm gay, Joe," Barry rambled, face a bright cherry red as he tried his best to meet Joe's eyes._

_"Barry,"Joe started. "You don't have to worry about loving you any less, alright? You're still Barry Allen, and you're still the same kid I'll always keep close to my heart. So you won't ever have to worry about me kicking you out, or even never talking to you again. And for the record, I'm very proud of you for telling me."_

_Grinning, Barry hopped off the stool and wrapped his arms tight around Joe. Chuckling and grinning himself, Joe hugged Barry back. "I love you, Joe. Thank you for everything you've done."_

_"Of course, Barry. I'd do anything to keep you and Iris happy and safe," Joe replied, holding the young teen close._

Blinking away the memory, Barry re-entered the world of now. He noticed Joe had left the room– Barry assumed to see what was in the kitchen for dinner– and leaving Barry in his world of thoughts. Getting off the couch, Barry walked into the kitchen, where Joe end up being, and cleared his throat. "Hey, Joe?"

"Yeah?" Joe looked up from the cookbook he was looking at, and quirked an eyebrow at his foster son. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just. I was just remembering when I told you I was gay." Barry smiled, blushing a little. "It was here in the kitchen, and I was so incredibly nervous that you wouldn't accept me."

"It'll be a cold day in hell before I don't accept you for any part of you," Joe said seriously. "Besides, it's not in your control who you're attracted to, or who you love. You happen to love guys, and are attracted to them. Nothing wrong with that. Plus, if it makes you feel any better, you coming out have Iris the strength to tell me she's bi."

"I remember her telling me that." Barry smiled, playing with a stray fork that was sitting on the counter. "Why don't you let me cook tonight? We can invite Eddie, and maybe Oliver and have a family dinner."

"That sounds nice. I'll give Iris a call before she leaves Eddie's." Joe walked out of the kitchen, leaving Barry to himself.

Smiling to himself, he sent a text to Oliver, blushing pleasantly when he agreed to come over for dinner. After sending the text, Barry shoved the phone into his back pocket before throwing himself into making dinner. Distantly, he could hear the sounds of Oliver arriving, followed shortly behind by the arrival of Iris and Eddie. Briefly, Barry worried that Joe wouldn't grill Oliver too much, as he tended to with people Barry or Iris brought over. He could hear Oliver's laugh, making a warmth spread happily throughout his body.

Focusing on cooking, Barry lost himself in his movements. There was always something about cooking that made Barry happy. Before his mom died, he could remember fondly of the times they used to cook together. In fact, one of the cookbooks that was in the West house had been Nora's favorite that she gave to Barry for his eleventh birthday. He had been elated when he opened the gift, babbling on and on about one day cooking all his mom's favorite meals by himself. Now, of course, he still had that dream, but it wouldn't be the same. He'd never get to have his mom try them. Despite that, though, he'd still make all the recipes one day, and feed them to his future husband.

With a bit of stunning realisation, it sunk into Barry that he had never officially come out to his dad. He did, however, remember babbling on about a guy he had a massive crush on during high school to his dad, and Henry never even blinked an eye. Barry felt a bit guilty, but then again if Henry thought nothing of it, then Barry assumed he must've had some inkling, or didn't care who it was that Barry loved, as long as he was happy.

Clearing his throat softly to break himself of his thoughts and back to the task at hand, Barry finished the chicken and pasta he was making. Even being a bit nice, he set the table before calling everyone into the dining room.

"This smells amazing, Bear. I swear, you're going to have to teach me how you cook all these amazing meals," Iris said, laughing as she sat down across from Barry, and next to Eddie.

"I don't think I've ever actually ate any of Barry's cooking," Oliver said honestly.

"Oh, it's the best I've ever tasted. Probably better than any of those nice restaurants in town." When Barry went to protest, Iris was quick to hush him. "I'm serious, Barry! Your cooking is amazing."

After dishing themselves food, they all waited with a bit of bated breath as Oliver took his first bite. Barry blushed hotly as Oliver moaned at the taste. "Holy hell, Barry."

"I know right! Barry will be the perfect househusband." Iris laughed.

Barry just rolled his eyes. "You wish. I suck at cleaning."

"That's neither here nor there. Whoever you marry is going to gain serious weight from your cooking," Iris said, pointing a fork in Barry's direction. "But that's only if you don't have any private work-out plans in store for them."

Both Barry and, surprisingly, Oliver blushed hotly at her words. Iris just wiggled her eyebrows playfully before taking another bite of pasta.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like i need to ask this before i get too far into the other olivarry fic ive been writing
> 
> do you prefer shorter chapters (like around 2k-3k words), or do you like having longer chapters like ive been writing (4k-5k)?
> 
> also, are you guys getting bored with this at all? ): im trying to set a decent pace, but if people are growing bored, then i can easily wrap it up quicker :/


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i meant to post this yesterday, but i only spent like two hours at home yesterday )))': being social is rough, man, lol
> 
> sorry if my author's note last chapter was too much of a downer. i got a bit insecure of my writing when i posted, so. i truly hope people are enjoying this story, though (: it's quickly become my lil baby

Barry hated snow. It was cold, it was wet, it was just downright _disgusting_. Walking in it was even worse, and as someone as clumsy as Barry, he was bound to fall a few times. The slick ice wasn't much help as he slid across it walking along the sidewalk to school. Like many times when it snowed in Central, Barry was suddenly glad he didn't have a car. If he hated _walking_ in it so much, he didn't dare want to try _driving_ in it.

The trees throughout campus had been decorated with various stringed lights, giving off a Christmas-y feel. People had even gone as far as making snow angels throughout numerous spots on the ground. During one of Barry's afternoon classes, a snowball fight had broken out. Somebody end up getting in trouble because a stray snowball smacked right in the face of a passing professor. Needless to say, snowball fights weren't looked highly upon at the current moment, but nothing would be enforced to stop it. A few of the more laidback professors even donned Christmas sweaters a Friday here or there.

His bum was absolutely freezing as he sat on a bench on campus. He had agreed to meet Iris and head to Jitters for coffee, but Barry was starting to regret agreeing to wait. There was about a good eighty percent possibility that his bum was frozen straight to the wood. Covering his face more with the scarf, Barry cursed anything listening to him for being born in an area where snow was common. Why couldn't he have born somewhere like _California_? It was completely unfair. Despite how cold he was, though, he still agreed to wait, so there he sat.

"Hey, stranger," a feminine voice spoke from next to him.

Startled, Barry turned to see Caitlin had sat down next to him on the bench without his notice. "Hey, Cait. Sorry, I didn't see you sit down. I'm too busy trying not to freeze to death."

Laughing, Caitlin just shook her head. "It's alright. I figured I'd sit with you while I wait for Cisco and Ronnie to get out of their class. I have about fifteen minutes yet."

"I'm waiting for Iris," Barry replied, rubbing his gloved hands together. "You want to join us? We're going to Jitters for some coffee."

"Sure, sounds fun," Caitlin answered, smiling. "How are things with your dad's case, by the way?"

"Nothing more than what there was before," Barry answered bitterly. "They caught the one guy they suspected, but it wasn't the same one. He was already in jail the night my mom was murdered."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

Barry just shrugged. "Life happens. I have a sinking feeling they'll never catch the guy who did it, and my dad will die in jail."

"Hopefully you'll be able to get him," Caitlin insisted. "You have a brilliant mind, and you're going to be a wonderful CSI. I'm sure with you on the case, you'll find him quickly."

Barry smiled to himself. "I really hope so," he agreed. He shifted in his seat. So he _wasn't_ frozen to the bench. That was always a plus. "Anyway. Did you hear about Professor Wells wanting to start up his own laboratory here in town? It sounds really cool."

"I know! He was talking about it during class yesterday." Caitlin pulled a notebook out of her backpack. It had a deep purple cover covered in various black doodles, assumedly made from a Sharpie. She flipped through it a minute before handing it over. "Here's all the notes I took while he was talking about it."

Humming softly in acknowledgment, Barry's eyes scanned over Caitlin's handwriting. She had beautiful handwriting. He smiled a little as he read over her notes. "It sounds like he's been saving and thinking about it for awhile now. I wonder where he's going to put it. If he wants it as big as he's saying, he's going to need something bigger than the plot he's had his eye on."

"I mean, realistically, based on everything he said, it won't be a thing for _years_ , so maybe there will be something else available?" Caitlin suggested with a shrug.

Barry handed Caitlin back her notebook. "I think the others will be done with class soon." He then suddenly smirked. "So when do you think Eddie will propose to Iris?"

"Soon, I'm guessing. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if Eddie did some Christmas proposal type of thing for her," Caitlin answered. She put her stuff away, sitting up a little afterwards. "Ronnie already said he was going to do it sometime after graduation. I can't wait."

Barry chuckled softly. "I can't wait, either." He gently squeezed her knee. "We should do something together this weekend. Just you and I."

"A new bowling alley opened up on the other side of town. That would be fun," Caitlin suggested. She spotted Ronnie and Cisco and waved at them. Barry did the same for Iris.

"That sounds fun, actually. We're both not very athletically inclined, so watching each other try to do something will be entertaining." Barry chuckled, lightly bumping shoulders with Caitlin. "I bet I'll be able to beat my score of 80."

"That's better than mine. My highest score is 76."

"Damn. We both suck," Barry stated before they both laughed.

"What's so funny?" Iris asked, smiling as the three of them approached the pair.

"We were both just comparing at how much we both suck at bowling, or anything remotely athletic, to be honest," Barry answered. "I hope you don't mind that I invited them to come along with us to Jitters."

"Not at all. Let's get going before I freeze to the spot." Iris bounced on her toes.

Barry's sputtered as he and Caitlin stood up. "I've been sitting here for like a half an hour. For awhile, I was convinced I was frozen to the bench."

Iris just giggled as they started walking. "Sorry, Bear. I didn't think he'd keep us as long as he did."

"It's alright, I guess. I can't really be mad at you." Barry playfully pinched her cheek.

"I know, I'm adorable."

**~*~**

The weekend came, and Barry and Caitlin did in fact decide to go bowling. The place was rather packed, every lane busy. They end up going to get a bite to eat and a nearby restaurant before coming back and snagging an open lane. While Barry was a little proud he didn't have to use the smallest bowling ball, Caitlin proudly held the bright pink ball in her hands. Somehow, they managed to convince the person behind the counter to let them have the bumpers up, so they wouldn't have to worry about any gutter balls. Even with them, they were still scoring poorly.

"C'mon, Cait!" Barry cheered, giggling a little as the people next to them just gave them a mix of amused and slightly annoyed looks.

Caitlin herself glared a little at him before turning back around and rolling her ball. When all but two pins fell, she cheered. "That's the best I've done all night!"

"And it's only your first roll. You might get a spare if you aim right," Barry said with a chuckle. "At least we don't have to worry about the gutters. I'm sure if the bumpers weren't up, we'd have lower scores."

"I'll take what I can."

Smiling, Barry watched Caitlin bowl. The chatter in the place was almost suffocating, and Barry found the sticky air a little hard to breathe in, but he was having a lot of fun. And considering the days he's been having lately, it was definitely a nice breather. Even in the bowling alley with a lot of people in it, Barry still felt like someone was watching him. It was a bit hard to explain, but Barry couldn't help the goosebumps that raised on his arms. And it was way too hot in the building for it to be from the cold.

"Do you feel like someone's watching you?" he asked Caitlin when she had walked back to their table. She had gotten the spare after all. She was pretty proud.

"There's a ton of people in here, Barry. I don't doubt someone's been looking over at you every so often," Caitlin said before she took a drink of her Coke. "Why do you ask?"

"I don't know, it's hard to explain. Like I know people can't help it sometimes and look over at us, or watch us bowl, especially when we're two college kids with bumpers on our lane, but this feels...different." Barry ate a nacho, looking around the room. "I'm just overreacting. Things have just been really weird lately."

Caitlin opened her mouth to say something, but Barry waved her off and headed to bowl. He could still feel eyes on him, but he also felt weird by feeling it because it was a public place, and accidental watching happened. But still. It made him feel uncomfortable. Turning around after scoring seven, Barry met eyes with someone in the lane next to them. His eyes were a weird shade of grey, and his blond hair looked greasy in the weird lighting of the bowling alley. He was watching Barry's every move, making him stop in his tracks. When the man only smirked at him, Barry was quick to start walking again, back to Caitlin.

"I was right. Someone has been watching us," he said to her, startling her a bit. She had been texting Ronnie. "The blond at the next table over. He's the same guy I saw at the library the night I swear I was being followed."

Caitlin looked over, quickly seeing the guy Barry was talking about. "What do you want to do? We can tell Joe."

"I, um. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. I'm sorry we're leaving early," Barry said, collecting their things.

"It's more than okay, Barry." Caitlin helped them through away their garbage and make up a flimsy excuse to the man behind the counter about why they're leaving during their sixth frame.

They made their way to Caitlin's car and slipped in. Barry let out a soft breath, looking around. "God, I feel so paranoid."

"Don't be," Caitlin said sternly, looking straight at Barry.

Barry bit his bottom lip, jumping when his phone suddenly chimed with a text.

_From: Unknown Number  
Your parents are already taken care of. You're next._

"Barry, you have to take that to Joe." The look in Caitlin's eye as she said it left little room for Barry to argue.

Nodding, Barry locked his phone before closing his eyes. "Joe's at work. Can you take me to the CCPD?"

"Of course."

The ride was filled with a tense silence. Caitlin was worried, and Barry wanted everything to stop being so damn difficult in his life. Even since a young age, Barry had a hunch that his mom's murder wasn't something that would be a one time incident. Unfortunately for him, Barry didn't exactly think he was the next target on the man's list. That thought alone made Barry squirm more in nerves at the thought.

When they got to the police department, the pair made their way inside quickly. Joe looked a bit surprised to see both Barry and Caitlin there at two in the afternoon on a Saturday, but he didn't comment on that.

"This is a surprise," Joe said, teasing. "To what do I owe this honor?"

Barry unlocked his phone and pulled up the texts with the unknown number and handed it over to Joe. Joe furrowed his eyebrows at first before they raised in surprise at reading it. "I also think someone's been following me. I got a good look at him today, too."

"Shit, Bear. This is serious. Let me go talk to the Captain real quick and then we'll sit you down with the sketch artist," Joe said, already standing and heading towards Singh's office.

"What do you think is going to happen?" Caitlin asked Barry softly.

"Honestly? I'm not completely sure. They're more than likely take the sketch of the guy that I give them and then set out some sort of search and bring him in. With a threat like that being sent to me, they're not going to take it lightly," Barry explained.

"What if they're not connected?"

"Then I'm fucked," Barry said flatly. "Right now, my only hope is that they are."

"Barry," Joe spoke up, getting the two college kids' attention. Captain Singh was following behind Joe as they approached the pair. "We're setting up a sketch artist in Singh's office right now. Until we catch whoever is sending you these texts, we're assigning you protection."

"Okay," Barry whispered. Going along with the snow that was falling outside, the blood flowing through Barry's veins suddenly felt like ice. "I just...why did my mom's killer wait so long to come after me?"

"I'm guessing he wanted to wait until you were comfortable enough in your own life before striking." Joe shrugged. "Either way, we'll catch him. I promise you that."

"Does that mean my dad's going to get out of prison?"

Joe and Singh exchanged a look before Joe gave Barry a strained smile. "If this lead proves to be accurate, then we'll enough proof to get him out, yes."

"Thank you."

Joe nodded. "C'mon, the sketch artist is waiting for you."

**~*~**

Barry's body felt a bit like it had lead in it. He was sure he was about to sink into the couch. It was getting closer to Christmas, and Barry couldn't allow himself to feel any of the cheer. It had been roughly a week since Barry saw the guy in the bowling alley, and the police were no closer to catching him. After he had left the building, they were unable to get a license plate, and the guy dropped off the face of the Earth. Though it was difficult, Barry still found it in himself to make to class each day. He couldn't afford to fail his classes this semester.

It was Thursday, so it meant Barry only had a class at eleven, and then he was done until Monday. Normally, he'd make plans with his friends, maybe Iris, but nowadays, he just watched the news, or reruns of _The Simpsons_.

"Barry, you need to get off that couch," Iris said, sitting next to Barry. She handed him a cup of hot cocoa. "Seriously. If you're not in class or sleeping, you're here. Can we at least invite some people over? You're starting to become a hermit, and it's concerning."

"I'm sorry. I know you're all worried for me, and all I've done is become a shut-in." Barry blew on his hot cocoa and took a sip. Iris always made the sweetest cocoa. "Yeah, we can. Why don't we invite over Eddie, Oliver, Kara, and Cisco. I know you've been dying to be with Eddie, and I want to be with Oliver right now, but I could also use Kara and Cisco's sunshine right now."

"I'll text them and let them know. But you, mister, need to go shower. You're starting to smell like Dad's day old socks."

Barry scrunched his nose at the comparison. "I'm sure I'm not _that_ bad, but I'm going."

Iris chuckled, but didn't respond as Barry left the room. Unable to help himself, Barry had a small smile on his face as Iris concern. The shower, as it turned out, helped more than he would've thought. Maybe he had gone too long without one...

By the time he got out of the bathroom, the friends Barry had named were there, and Eddie had brought enough pizza for them all to munch on. Oliver was quick to wrap Barry in a hug, much to the younger man's delight. Humming happily, Barry allowed Oliver to hug him for longer than what probably should've been acceptable.

When Oliver pulled back, he was grinning. "Was starting to worry that you didn't want to ever be seen again."

"Oh ha ha," Barry drawled sarcastically. "I've just been...a bit on edge lately, but it's nothing too much to worry about out, alright? It's my thing to deal with."

"And we keep telling you that you don't have to go through this alone," Cisco spoke up, quirking an eyebrow at Barry. He had spilled cheese on himself, the grease spot on his shirt making Barry snort. "You'd miss making fun of us too much to drop completely off the Earth."

"Well it's not hard to make fun of you when you've got a giant stain on your shirt," Barry pointed out. In result, Barry end up spilling a glob of cheese onto his own shirt.

"I love instant karma!" Cisco cheered.

"Asshole," Barry muttered. "This was my last clean shirt, too."

"Hey, Barry, did Dad ever tell you that the current sketch artist down at the station was thinking of quitting?" Iris spoke up.

"Ben? Really? Did Joe mention why?" Barry asked, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

"He's moving to Keystone." Iris shrugged. "He's the best artist CCPD has had, too. Apparently Singh has been trying to convince him to stay all week."

Staying quiet, Barry stared down at the pizza on his paper plate. The others were chatting about some other topic, leaving Barry to his own thoughts. Oliver was watching him out of the corner of his eye, as if he could see the wheels turning in Barry's head.

"Hey, Iris," he suddenly spoke up, interrupting whatever Kara was saying. "Have they hired a replacement for Ben yet?"

"Well, no. Ben only put his two week notice in a couple days ago, why?" Iris answered.

"What if I put an application in? I know how to draw, I'm even taking a class right now so I'm not really rusty, plus it could be a good way to get my foot in the door there," Barry said, waving his hands around as he explained. "Plus, it'll be a good part time position while I'm school yet, and I might be able to also keep my job at Jitters."

"That actually sounds like a great idea," Oliver spoke up, gently squeezing Barry's knee.

"I agree. And here I thought you'd completely give up art," Iris teased.

"I didn't know you drew," Kara said, pouting a little bit.

"He's great at it. He gave it up after we graduated, but he was one of the best in the school," Iris bragged on Barry's behalf. Our old art teacher was even disappointed when she found out he wouldn't be perusing it."

"And even more so when she found out I was making theatre my minor, not art," Barry said with a laugh. "She wanted me to become the next big artist out there, but I never thought I'd ever go anywhere with it. Besides, my passion lies in the law, so." He shrugged.

"So you applying for that position is an even better idea than before," Oliver concluded. "You're all around wonderful at the arts."

"You've never even heard me sing, or seen any of my drawings," Barry replied, chuckling softly. "You can't say I'm 'good at the arts' when you haven't seen or heard anything."

Quirking an eyebrow, Oliver just smiled at Barry. "You're such a dork," he said after a moment, poking Barry in the side.

Barry squeaked before glaring lightly at Oliver. "Anyway. I think I'll go in tomorrow and do it."

"I'm glad you're doing something with art again," Iris said, picking a pepperoni off her pizza and eating it. "And even if you couldn't keep both jobs, you and I both know you'd never be able to work at Jitters forever. You've been there since you were a junior in high school, and you're getting tired of it."

"Dude, you've been working at Jitters for five years?" Cisco asked, looking up from his stain. "How can you handle dealing with all those people?"

"You get used to it." Barry shrugged. "And it's better than working where Kara does. I can only imagine the types of people that come through her drive-thru."

Nodding quickly, Kara was quick to launch into a story about something that had happened just that summer. Barry, while listening, gravitated just a little bit closer to Oliver.

**~*~**

"Merry Christmas!" Iris cheered, plopping down on the side of Barry's bed. Barry had stayed up late to work on a paper (it wouldn't even be due for another two weeks), and end up sleeping it. "C'mon, Bear! It's ten o'clock, we let you sleep in."

"Ugh, gimme a minute," Barry muttered, voice still thick with sleep. "I'll meet you downstairs in, like, ten minutes."

Iris let out a sigh, but eventually left the room and went back downstairs. Barry continued laying there for another minute before dragging himself out of the warmth of his blankets. Not bothering to grab a change of clothes, he stumbled his way into the bathroom to get ready to face other humans. By the time he made it downstairs, he was considerably more awake.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty," Joe teased, sliding a cup of coffee in front of man. "We didn't think you'd sleep in this long considering it's your second favorite holiday, but once it got close to ten, I sent Iris up there."

"Remember when he'd be the first awake at like six o'clock?" Iris asked with a laugh. "After about two years of him waking you up that early, you made the rule that we couldn't open presents until eight."

Barry scrunched his nose at the story, but didn't deny it. He added creamer to his coffee before taking a long sip, pleased with the way the hot liquid slid down his throat and warmed him up from the inside. "Yeah, yeah," he said, setting his now mostly empty mug down. "By the way, we're meeting up with the other's at Oliver's at around two."

"Okay." Iris was grinning as she finished her breakfast quickly. "Did you want to eat before we opened things, or wait until after?"

"I can wait, I've gotten what I needed." After finishing his coffee, he set the mug down in the sink before heading into the living room with the other two.

Joe ended up passing down the watch he had gotten from his own father as a gift. Barry wasn't ashamed to admit he had cried as he slipped it onto his wrist. Iris got him a new wallet, and a brand new sketchpad and pencils to use for his part-time job at CCPD. After talking awhile and helping Iris put the necklace he had gotten her (a heart pendant with her birthstone on it) on, they each parted to get ready for their day. Shoving a piece of toast into his mouth, Barry got ready to meet up with Oliver. He had agreed to meet the older man an hour before their get together, so they could pick up something for them all to much on (since Christmas dinner with families were usually always a large occasion), as they exchanged gifts and celebrated the holiday.

"Where are you going?" Iris asked, stepping out of the bathroom, her hair straightener still in her hand. "We still have an hour."

"I'm meeting up with Oliver. We're heading to the store to pick up some last minute things," Barry explained, grinning at her as stepped into the bathroom. Once he made sure his hair was presentable, he pressed a quick kiss to her cheek before slipping out the door.

Barry shivered as the cold wind nipped at his nose. Drawing his scarf up higher on his face, Barry trudged through the high snow to the nearest grocery store that was open, where Oliver had agreed to meet him at. He couldn't help the smile on his face when he spotted the older man. Oliver, despite the slightly bulky black pea coat he was sporting, looked radiant. Next to him was a woman Barry had never met before.

"Hey," he said, grinning at the two. "Sorry I'm late."

"You're late to everything," Oliver joked, smiling. "Barry, this is my sister, Thea. I hope you don't mind her tagging along."

"Oh, not at all. It's lovely to meet you," Barry said, holding out his hand.

Thea grinned, shaking Barry's hand. "So you're the mysterious Barry that Ollie goes on and on about. I must say, your eyes are as green as he says."

Oliver coughed, and the blush on his cheeks could almost be passed as being from the cold. "Right, well uh, let's head inside. I'm sure there's some vegetable platters left yet."

Holding his arm out, Barry smiled as Thea beamed at the gesture, holding onto the arm as they made their way inside. All throughout the walk, Thea kept cracking jokes about Barry being more of a gentleman than Oliver could ever hope to be. The more Thea rambled, the more fond of the younger girl he became. In many ways, he could see the similarities between the siblings, but also the differences. Where Oliver was quiet, Thea was talkative. And both of them each had a quiet determination about certain things. Barry had seen that in Oliver many times, but seeing it in Thea in the way she talked was like tasting a different flavored water. Both the same, but also different.

As predicted, the store was basically deserted. The few employees who were there looked like they would rather be anywhere else. The subtle jokes Thea cracked to the two men were part of the reason they took so long in the store. Being around the Queen siblings stirred something inside Barry, and the way they bickered over food items felt alarmingly domestic. Almost as if shopping together was something they did regularly. Barry was suddenly insanely glad he decided to meet up with Oliver early and pick up last minute items with him and his sister.

When they finally made it out of the store after nearly an hour (it had been Barry reminding them last minute that they still had to make it back to Oliver's to be there before people starting arriving), all they left with was two veggie platters and some dip. Oliver drove them all back to his apartment, where Thea immediately hid herself in the guest room until their friends started showing up.

"I like her," Barry commented, helping Oliver set things out. "She's nice. Rather opposite to you, by the way."

"Yeah. She's a great sister." Oliver was smiling fondly, making Barry himself smile stupidly.

"I'm surprised your mom let her come all the way here by herself. Thea's what 14?" Barry guessed, looking at Oliver.

"Yeah. She'll be 15 in January, and she's all excited to be starting driver's ed soon." Oliver chuckled softly. "And she snuck over here. Had enough money to buy a train ticket and doesn't tell me she's coming until she's already here, and I have to leave work early to rush to the train station to pick her up."

Barry snorted. "She's as stubborn as you are."

"Shut up, you can't even drink yet."

"I'll be twenty-one in March," Barry said with a laugh, lightly shoving Oliver. "I think it's sweet that she came to see you for Christmas."

"Yeah, me too. It wasn't a fun phone conversation with Mom, though. Thea's already aware she's going to be in a lot of trouble when she gets home, but she's delaying it as long as she can."

Barry hummed softly. "I know Joe freaked when I ran off to visit my dad at Iron Heights. I can only imagine how he'd react if I went to another city altogether. I gave him enough aneurysms as it is."

"You? I have a hard time believing that." Oliver lightly bumped shoulders with him. "You're like...soft."

" _Soft?_ Oliver Queen, I'll have you know I punched a bully in the nose and _broke_ it. Of course, I got my ass handed to me afterwards, but it still happened." He poked Oliver's cheek, giggling a little afterwards.

Oliver opened his mouth to reply, but there was a knock on the front door. "Saved by the bell," he said in amusement, brushing past Barry to greet whoever had knocked.

Biting his bottom lip, Barry smiled to himself as he finished up what they were doing. When he walked into the living room, he was pleased to find his friends had slowly made their way to Oliver's apartment, and were now spread throughout his living room.

"So this is where you've been hiding," Iris teased, sitting next to Eddie on the couch.

"I was helping Oliver set things up," Barry reminded her, giving her a pointed look. He then turned to Oliver. "Is Thea coming out, or is she suddenly a recluse?"

"She said she'd come out here, but I haven't seen her since people started showing up." He shrugged. "If she joins us, she joins us. If she doesn't, she doesn't. No use in pressuring her to socialize with people she doesn't know."

"You're sweet." Barry lightly pinched Oliver's cheek before sitting on the ground in front of Iris. There was a light squeeze on his shoulder, causing him to smile up at Iris.

All of them exchanged gifts with one another, only getting up to hug one another or put their torn wrapping paper into the garbage bag they had brought out. There was laughter, eggnog, and a lot of hugging. All in all, Barry was glad he had decided to crawl out of bed that morning.

As he sat there, playing with a Rubix Cube that Cisco got him, Barry was a bit startled when Iris sat down next to him, a glass of eggnog in her hands. He gave her a small smile before focusing on the object in his hands.

"Have you heard anything new from Joe concerning your dad's case?" she asked softly, not wanting to raise her voice any louder. She didn't want to bring the mood down, but Barry hadn't said much about it lately.

"No," Barry admitted honestly. "They're running facial recognition where they can, but they're coming up short. They're even tracking the number from the text I got, but the bowling alley was the last ping they got. Think it's a burner phone."

"I'm sorry, Barry. Maybe now that you're working at CCPD, you can get more information than you could before," Iris suggested with a shrug.

"Yeah, that's what I'm hoping, too. But so far, there's nothing." He frowned a little. "I just want my dad to get justice."

"And he will, don't worry. You're Barry Allen. You'll find him."

"Thanks." Barry smiled. "Now come on. Let's not focus on such downers right now. It's Christmas. We should be focusing on who's around us now, not potential creeps."

"Speaking of, are you going to visit your dad later?"

"Not today. The prison's usually packed this time of year, and I want more than a quick hello. I'll probably go tomorrow when it's not as busy," Barry answered. He cheered when he solved the Rubix Cube, resulting in a pout from Cisco, whose attention he had caught from his cheering.

All in all, it was a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk how to end chapters to save my life (((((':


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quite a bit shorter than usual, sorry for that!
> 
> also, a couple side notes
> 
> idk how far away from the west house that iron heights is?? but for story sake, it's outside central city's limits
> 
> ive never gotten into an accident, so sorry for any medical inaccuracies, lol

Smiling to himself, Barry sent a quick text to Oliver as he made his way towards his next class. Their group of friends were all trying to come up with something fun to do for New Year's. So far, they hadn't been able to come up with much, only a few brainstorms here and there, but Barry and Oliver had been trying to think of their own plans, and coming up short.

"Well aren't you in a good mood," Iris commented, surprising Barry a bit as she suddenly showed up next to him. "Who're you texting?"

"Ollie," Barry answered honestly. "We're trying to think of plans to do for New Year's. He keeps suggesting the new superhero movie, but Caitlin doesn't want to see anything superhero this year. Apparently that's what they did last year, and she wants to do something different."

"I still say we have a party or something. Or go to one, if you don't feel like cleaning anything up. We're in college, so why the hell not?" Iris shrugged.

"I'm still not a party person." Barry chuckled, holding open the door for Iris so they could walk into their shared class. "The last one we had burned me. Besides, why don't we all do something alone this year? Or at least, you guys and your significant other. Ollie and I were actually considering making dinner plans."

Iris sat down, humming softly at Barry's words. "How are things going for the two of you, by the way?"

"A lot better. We've been spending more time together, and that's definitely helped." Barry played with his phone a minute before sighing. "He told me the other day that he still texts Felicity. She's been tiptoeing around asking another guy out, but she wasn't sure how Oliver would take it."

"Why does she care what he thinks? Didn't she break up with him because she was aware of his feelings for you?" Iris asked, quirking an eyebrow. "You'd think that the last thing on her mind would be moving on too quickly."

"Yeah, I know. I don't know, Felicity's been weird ever since the beach incident. I've maybe talked to her twice since then," Barry said, frowning a little bit afterwards.

Iris just shrugged, pulling out the things she needed as the time for class to start grew closer. "Either way, I wouldn't think too much of it. You still have a lot more to worry about than some petty drama going on with Felicity."

"That's true, I suppose." Barry bit his bottom lip. "I just don't like the thought of someone being upset with me. It just didn't sit well."

"Barry, seriously, I wouldn't worry about it too much." Iris pointed her purple pen at him. "Oliver cares a lot about you, and you can very obviously tell whenever you two are in the same room."

Barry blushed a little, smiling down at the desk in front of him. "You're right. You wouldn't mind if Ollie and I did something together, would you?"

"Of course not. I'll just do something with Eddie. We haven't had a date night in awhile, anyway."

After the class, Barry made his way to CCPD. When he didn't have any sketches to make for people, Captain Singh usually found something for him to do yet, which mainly included handling paperwork. Barry didn't mind that much. It was still something to do, busywork or not. Joe seemed to appreciate it, too, because he could keep an eye on him, and be surrounded by cops in case another text ever came through.

After the initial text Barry had received before Christmas, the stranger hadn't texted him again. Barry hadn't seen him hanging around either, which was a little odd, but he didn't think too much of it. He was usually surrounded by people, or at CCPD, so he felt comfortable. Even when he had to go to the library to study, at Joe's insistence, he never went alone.

As he went through the stack of files sitting on the desk, filing them away into their proper categories, his phone pinged from his back pocket. Ignoring it momentarily, Barry continued on what he was focused on. After five minutes, it pinged twice more, causing him to groan and put the file away before pulling out his phone. Only to make him wish he hadn't.

 _From: Unknown Number_  
_You can hide all you want, but I still know where you live. Where you go to school. Even where you work. Both jobs._

_From: Unknown Number  
Ignoring me, Barry? Not a smart move._

_From: Unknown Number  
Don't worry, I'm not gone. I'm just waiting for the right moment._

Feeling his blood run cold, Barry's phone dropped from his hand and landed on the carpeted floor. He closed his eyes, counting to ten before opening them up again and grabbing his phone off the floor. He was certain his face was a pale white, because Joe shot up straight from his chair as soon as Barry walked into the room.

"Barry, are you alright?" he was quick to ask, grabbing the attention of a few cops nearby.

Barry wordlessly handed Joe his phone, who was quick to read the texts. "Shit, Bear. We're going to have to give you a police detail until this whole thing is dealt with."

"Joe, I'm scared," Barry whispered. "They said they killed my mom, and are coming after me. What do I do? I can't stop living my life just because some psycho is after me."

"Okay, Barry. Just...take deep breaths, alright? We'll get this figured out, I promise." Joe rubbed Barry's back as he handed the college student's phone over to another officer. Barry was still shaking, so he was instructed to sit down while the number was tracked.

**~*~**

Waiting had always been a boring game, and even more so as he got older. Joe still had his phone, but there was a cop car sitting outside on the road, and Iris, Eddie, and Oliver were all with him at the house.

"God, and I thought relationships was the shittiest part of my life," Barry muttered, leaning into Oliver's side.

Oliver wrapped an arm around the younger man, holding him close. "I'm sorry, Barry. I promise you, everybody will figure out a way to get this matter solved."

"I truly hope so. I know this city's gone to shit, but I was really hoping I could still live a peaceful life? I didn't think that was too much to ask for. Hopefully all those moves Ollie's been teaching us will pay off," Barry said, chuckling weakly.

"You can't talk like that, you have to be positive," Iris said, smiling as Oliver's gently squeezed Barry's arm. "If things really get bad, then I'm glad Oliver's taught us more in-depth ways of defending ourselves. But I hope it doesn't get to that."

"I agree," Oliver said, smiling. "While I hope it doesn't get bad, I still believe you'll be able to defend yourself if the need arises."

"I just wonder who it is. The guy looked young. Like, my age. There's no way an eleven year old could've gotten away with that. Plus, the man before looked older, like my age now. It...doesn't make any sense." Barry furrowed his eyebrows.

"Copycat, maybe?" Eddie suggested.

"Yeah, but he said he was the one to 'take care' of my parents," Barry pointed out.

"Well, look at it like this. We actually have no idea if the weird guy and the texter are the same person," Oliver stated. "For all we know, they could be weird coincidences."

"I suppose that's true. Doesn't make me feel any better, but it makes sense."

Not long later, Joe was stumbling tiredly through the door. He looked stressed, but also a little relieved. Barry sat up straight as he accepted the phone handed to him.

"Anything?" Iris asked.

"We tracked the number, and it was to another burner phone. But, we did find out who the blond guy following Barry is. Apparently, the kid's just some weird college boy who has a record of stalking. Barry was just the newest person in his focus," Joe explained. "We have him overnight."

"Oh, well at least one creep is off the streets. That's always a positive," Eddie spoke up, trying to lighten the mood.

"It does make me feel a little better," Barry admitted. He let out a shaky sigh before standing up. "Ollie, can I talk to you alone a minute?"

"Yeah, of course," Oliver agreed easily.

The two of them made their way up to Barry's room. Barry shut the door before looking at Oliver. "Look, I want you to know that I haven't once stopped thinking about you. And this might be the fear talking, speeding things up for me, but I just want to be with you."

Oliver gently cupped Barry's face. "Listen to me, Barry. Wherever, _whenever_ , you need me, I'll always be here for you. But I don't want you to make any rash decisions because you're scared. Look, I know everything that happened over the summer did some damage, and I'll be the first to admit that. But, Barry, I've also gotten to the chance to really know you. You lead with your heart, and look how that's helped you. You want my opinion? I think we should wait, Bear."

Barry bit his bottom lip. Oliver was right, and he knew that. But, still, "I don't want to lose you, Ollie, because we've waited too long and missed our chance."

"We won't miss our chance, it's still yet to come. And no matter what, Barry, you'll never lose me. Do you understand?" Oliver asked.

"Yes," Barry whispered. He leaned forward a little, pleased when Oliver met him halfway, kissing him sweetly. "I care a lot about you."

"I care a lot about you, too, Barry. That's why I'm saying this."

"I know. God, do I know." Barry took a shaky breath before stepping back. "When all of this is over, Ollie, I want a proper date and all the works."

"I can do that." Oliver smiled. He kissed Barry's cheek. "I'll be here every step of the way. _I'm not leaving you_."

**~*~**

"I thought you said you guys were going to wait until after graduation," Barry teased, looking at the ring on Caitlin's left hand.

"We were, but Ronnie decided he didn't want to listen to that anymore, and proposed as soon as hit midnight," Caitlin said with a laugh. "Said he wanted to ring in the new year the right way. I guess he was also hoping it'd bring some sort of good luck for a good year since last year was so...rough for everyone."

"Hey, anything helps," Barry said with a shrug. "Eddie end up being called home to Keystone because his mother's in the hospital, so Joe, Iris, and I all watched horror movies."

"What about Oliver? I thought you were going to make plans with him?" Caitlin furrowed his eyebrows.

"He stayed home to be with Thea. School starts back up for her in a couple days, so he's spending time with her before he takes her back," Barry explained. "Which, I don't mind. It's rather sweet, actually, how close they are."

"That is. So, are you excited for your birthday that's coming up? The big twenty-one." Caitlin wiggled her eyebrows in a way that reminded Barry a lot of Cisco.

"Okay, one, I think you've been hanging with Cisco too much." Barry laughed. "And for two, a little. Oliver's already threatened to invite his childhood friends Tommy and Laurel and we go could out for drinks. Also said Tommy would probably suggest going bar hopping, but I don't really want to do that, so."

"You've drank before, though, so what's the difference of being on your twenty-first?" Caitlin asked.

"Hell if I know. I told Oliver this, too, and he just laughed. Said since I can't legally buy it, that it doesn't count." Barry playfully rolled his eyes. "Anyway. When are you and Ronnie thinking of getting married?"

"I don't know, actually. Things are put on hold for the moment, but we know it'll be, _at least_ , within the next two years." Caitlin smiled down at the, sighing happily. "You're the first person I told, by the way. Not even Cisco knows."

Barry blinked in surprise. "Wait. You told me something before _Cisco_. I'm...thrown off guard. Holy shit."

Caitlin laughed. "Considering everything you're going through, and everything happening right now, I felt you deserved to be the first one to know the good news. Ronnie agrees, too."

"Thank you, Cait," Barry said sincerely, smiling.

"Yeah, of course. How are things going with your dad's case, if you don't mind me asking."

"Slow," Barry admitted, sighing afterwards. "I'm visiting my dad after class today. I wasn't able to go during Christmas, so I wanted to swing by yet."

"Say hi to him for me."

Caitlin had gone with Barry one year, shortly before Christmas and around the time during high school when their friendship was still rather fresh. While they both had their license, Caitlin had a car and had offered to drive him to Iron Heights. Barry had been surprised at the time, for the offer, but accepted it nonetheless. So he invited her to go in with him, to meet his dad.

Henry was always saying Barry needed more friends. Ever since Nora's murder and Henry's imprisonment, he had had a difficult time making new friends, and Iris was the only one who stuck around. It was nice enough that Henry heard of Barry's new friends, but Barry knew for a fact Henry would be surprised that Barry had decided to bring a friend. And the got along swimmingly. Henry went on and on about how nice it was to meet one of Barry's friends, ones who even aspired to be in the medical field was definitely a bonus, and how nice it was.

Ever since then, Barry always passed along messages between the two, or even brought Caitlin along. Of course, Henry had met Barry's other friends, but Caitlin had formed a bit of a father-daughter relationship with Henry since her own father had died when she was still young.

"You know I will."

**~*~**

The drive to Iron Heights was always a bit of a long one. Even driving it, now, Barry couldn't believe he used to run all that way as a child. Of course, at the young age of eleven, it didn't seem to ever really register with him just how far he was going. It wasn't until he was older did he fully realise how his running away had terrified Joe. It was easily close to an hour of a drive, Barry couldn't even begin to imagine how long it had taken him to go by foot.

Luckily for him, Joe let him borrow the car. Joe had left work early so Barry could borrow it, for that Barry was thankful. He played music as he drove, letting his calming playlist sooth the ever present nerves that had always seemed to be there whenever he visited his dad. He wasn't sure why he always got a bit nervous, he's been there many times, but approaching the large building always made his hair stand on end.

After finding a decent enough parking spot, Barry made his way inside. He went through the motions at the front desk and donned his visitor's pass and made his way into the visiting room and sat down in their usual spot. Waiting only about five minutes, Barry grinned and sat up straighter as his dad sat down in front of him.

"Hey, slugger. I missed you at Christmas," Henry said, grinning back.

"Yeah, sorry, I got busy," Barry apologized. "How are you doing?"

"I'm doing fine, Barry. Always am. The question is, how are _you_ doing?"

"I'll be okay," Barry answered, a bit tentatively. "I got more texts from the one person who claimed he 'took care of my parents' not that long ago. This is the first time I've really been alone since I got them."

"You should've brought someone with you, Bear. There's strength in numbers," Henry said sternly.

"I know, Dad. I just...I wanted to spend alone time with you. Well, as much as I can considering the circumstances."

Henry's face softened. "Oh, Bear."

"I'm going to find who did it, Dad," Barry spoke up before Henry could continue. "I work at CCPD now. Granted, I'm only a sketch artist, but Joe can tell me more details now. And I'm still studying to be a forensic expert. I'm going to make you proud, Dad."

"You do every day, Barry." Henry's words made Barry pause. "Barry, I don't like the thought you choosing a field just because you think it'll help me get out of here. Now, I know you have a genuine interest in forensics, but I also want you to live your life. I know how much you love to draw and act, and do all those creative things, so it's a bit of a relief when you told me you were minoring in theatre. And now you're a sketch artist." Henry leaned forward a bit. "No matter what you do, your mother and I will always be proud of you, Barry."

"I'm gay, Dad."

"A bit late to admit that, isn't it?" Henry teased, smiling.

Barry smiled back, laughing a little wetly as he felt himself crying. "I know, I just wanted you to hear me say it out loud."

"And I still love you all the same. And I'm sure your mother would, too. She was always so happy whenever you rambled on about the newest thing you learned in school, or won a science fair. As long as you were happy, so was she."

"Do you think she'd be happy with the field I chose?"

Henry smiled sadly. They've had this discussion many times before. "She'd be happy to support you no matter what you choose to do with your life."

Barry let out a shaky breath, holding the phone closer to his face. "I love you, Dad. I can't wait until you're out of here so I can hug you."

"I love you, too, Bear."

They wrapped up their conversation not long after, and, as he usually did after visiting his dad, Barry felt lighter.

The cold winter air nipped at Barry's face, making his cheeks pink and the tip of his nose go numb. Even from the short walk to the car, Barry was shivering through his thick jacket. The wind was starting to pick up, the clouds looming overhead and signalling an oncoming storm. Barry prayed he'd be able to make it home before it got too bad.

Driving was almost next to impossible. Even driving a bit slower, the wind was brutal enough to push the car and make driving difficult. Barry's knuckles were white as he gripped onto the steering wheel, correcting the car so it wouldn't be pushed off the road. The further he drove, the worst the weather seemed to get. Barry almost missed turns he needed to make several times, and if it wasn't for muscle memory, he was sure he'd have gotten lost at some point.

There were a few other cars on the road, and Barry just wanted to get home. He wasn't paying attention much, only trying to stay in his lane. He was focused, only really glancing elsewhere every so often to make sure he was going the right way. Although, it seemed, not everyone was paying as close attention to the road as he was.

The next thing Barry knew, he was waking up in a hospital. The lights were bright against his eyes, and he was quick to close them again, groaning. His whole body ached, and all he wanted to do was fall back asleep, even though his body seemed to be having other ideas.

All his shuffling seemed to wake the people were sitting in there, because in the next moment, there was a soft hand sliding into his. He cracked his eyes open to see Iris sitting in the chair next to his bed, watching him carefully.

"Barry?" she asked softly.

Barry groaned again, reaching up with his free hand to rub at his face, but stopped short when he saw it was in a cast. "What happened? Why am I in the hospital?"

"You were driving home from Iron Heights when a car crashed into you. You were crossing an intersection, and I don't think the other car saw you. You got lucky, though, while it did hit the driver's side, it hit closer to the back. You spun on the ice and hit a nearby tree," Iris explained, gently squeezing the hand she was holding.

"Fuck. How long have I been out?"

"Only about a day. They weren't sure if you suffered any brain damage. I'll call the doctor and tell him you're awake." Iris reached over and pressed the call button. Joe walked in as she did, smiling a little at seeing Barry awake.

"I leave for five minutes to use the restroom and you wake up," Joe teased. "How are you feeling?"

"Very sore," Barry answered, burying his head a little in the pillow under him. "Sorry about your car."

"It's alright. You're alive, that's all that matters."

The doctor walked in just then, smiling politely at the small family. "Hello, Barry. It's a pleasure to see you awake and talking," she said. "I'm Dr. Rhodes and I've been taking care of you while you've been here. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions? It's simply to test your memory and see if anything happened to your brain in the accident."

"That's fine," Barry replied, sinking a bit more into the mattress. It was a bit stiff to lay on, but he'd manage.

Dr. Rhodes asked all the questions she needed, and ran a few tests on him. She was confident that there wasn't any brain damage from the accident, making all three of the family members sigh in relief. He'd have to stay in the hospital for at least the rest of the day to keep an eye on his injuries, and he'd be able to go home the following morning.

"Does everybody else know?" Barry asked Caitlin once the doctor was out of the room.

"Yeah. I was with Eddie when Dad called me saying you were in an accident, and he let everybody else know." Iris ran a hand through Barry's hair, sighing softly. "We were so worried."

"I'm okay, Iris. A little bruised, but still breathing. He looked at his casted arm and sighed. "At least I can still write and sketch, but I might have to take time off at Jitters, though. That job's kind of hard to do one handed."

"Both Jill and Singh are aware of what happened," Joe spoke up. "They both gave you some time off for the time being."

"Paid leave?" Barry asked hopefully.

"Of course," Joe answered.

"Oh thank god."

"I'm glad you're okay," Iris said softly. "I know I've probably said that like four hundred times by now, but I was so insanely worried when I was told what happened."

"I'm okay, Iris, I promise." Barry gently grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it. "I hope you guys have gotten both food and sleep while I've been here. The last thing we need is for one of you to end up in the bed next to me."

Iris fondly rolled her eyes while Joe just chuckled. "We ate the cafeteria food," Iris answered. "And we've both taken naps in the chairs."

"Go home, the both of you. I'm still stuck here anyway, I'm not going anywhere." He then furrowed his eyebrows. "Was my phone damaged at all?"

"A few scratches, but still works," Iris answered, pulling the device out of her purse. "Here. They let me hang onto it."

"Thank you." Barry accepted the phone, seeing a bunch of texts. He gave the two Wests a goodbye before responding to the texts. Then, he saw one that made him freeze in his spot.

_From: Unknown Number  
Didn't see you? Or hit on purpose?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive never had to take a medical leave of absence from work before (in the year i worked at subway, i only took one sick day off, LOL), so oops? i hope i wasn't too misinformed on how it works (thanks, google)
> 
> also sorry for the longer than usual wait! olivarry week took all my focus and free time, so i was unable to write a new chapter


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~who lets me write because wow, im a messy bitch~~
> 
> so last chapter before the epilogue! i didn't want to drag this on too much, and since i didn't really have a whole lot planned anyway, this story is short
> 
> **TW: violence**

He would be in the cast for five months.

Barry was determined to not let it affect him too much, and he went back to working at CCPD after a few weeks. He was stubborn enough to go against what Joe was nagging him not to do, but he was content enough with Barry not going back to Jitters (for the time being).

After about a month of wearing the cast, Barry already hated it. It made him wish he had some sort of accelerated healing just so he could _take the damn thing off_. Having only one hand made a lot of things more difficult, but he was lucky enough it was his left hand that had broken, and not his right. He couldn't work at CCPD, if that were the case.

After the accident, Barry and everyone else, was on edge. Barry had revealed the text he had gotten, and it made the search move to the top of the list. Barry's life had been threatened, so finding the man behind it was an even bigger concern. Oliver, for his part, had started hovering more. While Barry appreciated the thought and concern, it had started getting annoying. He could only stand hovering for so long, and everyone in his life had suddenly become an expert in that. Joe never let him leave the house anymore without having someone with him at all times. Lately, it had been Oliver.

"Oliver, can you please back off just a little? I have a broken arm, I'm not invalid," Barry complained, shooing the other man. "I can cook mac 'n' cheese by myself. I can do it one handed."

"How'd you learn that talent?" Oliver asked, a bit of amusement sparkling in his eyes.

"Bullies broke my wrist when I was fifteen. Being young and home alone for dinner often enough, there was only so much I could cook. Mac 'n' cheese quickly became a regular thing until I got the cast off."

"You break a lot of bones?" Oliver asked, smirking.

Barry playfully hit the man with a hand towel that was sitting out on the counter. "Yes, now be quiet. I don't need to hear anymore teasing from you, thank you. I hear enough of it from Iris."

"How are you so calm in all of this?" Oliver asked seriously. "Your life was threatened, and you're sat here joking about it."

"I've learned to ignore it, I guess. Lately, I've become very good at shoving my emotions down."

"Barry..."

"No, just...don't, okay? It's my way of coping. If I need to change it at all, you'll be the first to know." Barry gave him a tight smile before finishing with dinner. He scooped some in a bowl and slid it to Oliver before making himself one.

"You and I should do something, then," Oliver said after a moment of silence. "Because, whether you like it or not, you are moping a bit. Plus, the fresh air will do us well."

"What do you propose we do?" Barry quirked an eyebrow. "There's only so much us one handed people can do."

Oliver fondly rolled his eyes. "I don't know, actually."

"Well, there's an ice sculpture thing happening downtown. They just had the judging like a weekend ago, so all the sculptures are chilling along the street. We could go walk through there," Barry suggested.

"Yeah, alright. That sounds nice, actually."

That weekend, Barry was a bit surprised at how gentle Oliver was acting. He didn't hover around Barry (the scolding Barry dished out tended to surprise people. While it was rare, it did pack a punch), which pleased him. But he was still cautious yet. Oliver made sure nobody bumped into Barry's arm (which was hidden under his zipped-up jacket), but wasn't ever obnoxious about it.

"These are so pretty. I wish I had the talent to do some of this stuff," Barry commented, eyeing the different pieces. "I mean, I could easily draw them, but it's like a whole other level to bring pictures to life. It's a skill I wish I could have, but don't have the time or ability."

"I'm sure it's a learned talent, just like everything else." Oliver's arm was warm where it was wrapped around Barry's waist. Barry leaned into the touch a bit. "Don't put yourself down, Bear. You can do a lot once you put your mind to something."

Barry hummed, but didn't otherwise comment. He could very easily blame the blush blooming on his cheeks from the bitter February wind. It was a particularly cold Saturday, so Barry burrowed himself into Oliver's side as best he could. Oliver didn't seem to mind, if the grip tightening on his waist was any indicator. Barry really did love spending alone time with Oliver. A part of him always hoped something deeper would come out of it, but there was always a nagging voice in the back of his head reminding him what happened with his past relationships. Blaine didn't even try reaching him, and Hunter was often too busy to really reply. Last Barry knew, Hunter was seeing someone from Coast City.

Barry's mind wandered back to Felicity. Oliver had mentioned, in passing, that Felicity found someone else back in Starling. A businessman named Ray, who was sweet to Felicity and spent as much time with her as he could. The two of them had yet to actually make up after what happened over the summer, but Barry was just content in knowing she was happy. Oliver did, too, and Barry was actually glad the two of them had kept in contact. They had been friends for a few years now and despite the sour ending to their relationship, they still got along fairly well.

While Ronnie and Caitlin _had_ gotten engaged, Caitlin recently revealed it'd still be a few years yet before planning for a wedding was even in the forefront of their minds. Cisco had met someone named Cynthia recently, and based on some passing information between the two men, things were going well for them. (Cisco was also shy and it would probably be a while before he even thought about asking her out). Barry's friends were all happy, and he was, too, by association. Still, though, Barry couldn't help but both crave and fear getting into another relationship.

Oliver made it seem easy to wait. The older man was just content being around Barry, and made it very clear he would never push for anything more. Which Barry would always be eternally grateful for. With each passing day, more of Barry's heart seemed to be given to Oliver, and Barry couldn't even find it in himself to even remotely care. Oliver was sweet, and caring. Two things of which Barry loved in other people.

As they walked along the salted sidewalks, Barry enjoyed just being in Oliver's presence. Ever since the strange man had his appearance known more and more often, Barry found himself seeking comfort in others. While Iris kept up her once a week training session with Oliver, before the accident, Barry had gone up to two a week. That was more at Oliver's insistence, but Barry didn't mind, anyway.

Barry found his mind wandering to other things, as he usually did, but Oliver was happy just being by the younger man. Wrapped in his arms, Barry had a hunch that Oliver felt he was protecting him from any outsiders.

Also, since the accident, Barry hadn't heard another peep. The person kept changing burner phones, much to the annoyance of the police, so they never could keep a decent trace on him. But they were fairly confident it was the same man from the night Barry's mother was murdered. Why he waited so long to come after Barry still stumped them, though. If he was so persistent on killing Barry, then why wait for as long as he did?

They had their theories, of course, but Barry couldn't sit through listening to any of them. It only brought back unwanted memories of the night of his mom's death. He _couldn't_ relive that.

"Are you alright?" Oliver asked softly, breaking Barry from his thoughts. "You've been staring at one sculpture for almost fifteen minutes now."

Barry blinked away the fogginess and gave Oliver a small smile. "Everything and anything," he said honestly. He then fully turned towards Oliver. "If anything happens before we can find this man-"

"Don't talk like that, Barry," Oliver was quick to silence. He laced his fingers with Barry's. "We'll find him, and you will live a long and happy life."

Barry was quiet, his eyes searching Oliver's. Finally, he let out a soft sigh. "You're right. I just...I can't help my thoughts sometimes. Like what if this never ends? What if we'll never find the man that killed my mother?"

"We will. I promise you that."

"You can't promise me that, Oliver," Barry said sternly, looking at Oliver. "Look, I know you're just trying to help, and make me feel better, but you can't promise me things you yourself can't guarantee."

Oliver put his forehead on Barry's resulting a small smile gracing the younger's lips. "I just want you to be happy, Bear."

"I know." Barry's voice was soft. The moment didn't require for it to be any louder, anyway. "Whenever I'm with you, I'm happy."

"I distinctly remember you promising a date when this is all over," Oliver teased playfully, his hands on Barry's hips.

"I can't break my promise now, can I? I simply must make it through all this to take _the_ Oliver Queen on a date." Barry couldn't stop smiling at Oliver's laugh. "You have a lovely laugh, you know that?"

"I've been told as much." Oliver stood up straight, his arm going back around Barry's waist. "C'mon, there's more sculptures down this street."

**~*~**

Barry was slowly starting to be convinced the universe was playing some sort of joke on him. He was just waiting for the punch line at this point.

The stalker (as he been starting to call him in his head. Saying "the man who killed my mom" was starting to sound too long. _Man_ , they needed a name) had been texting Barry off and on for the past week, each one growing in more intensity. It had gotten to the point where Barry started skipping his classes, he was so frightened to step foot out the door. His stalker was all the CCPD were talking about. Aside from crimes here and there, catching the guy who was blowing up Barry's phone was their main focus.

They made some headway when the tech guy managed to ping the burner phone before it was discarded. Before, they had tried looking up whoever bought the phone, but each name was fake and different from the last. The stalker was practically a ghost.

Joe and a few other cops went to the hotel where the ping came from. By the time they had found the room, it was empty. The once occupied room was empty, and the window was still open from where someone had slipped out onto the fire escape. Any fingerprints found were either hotel staff, random people, or now deceased people. It was pretty much a dead-end.

While Barry felt some relief in knowing CCPD were still trying, it didn't make him feel any safer. The guy was still on the loose, and still texting Barry.

It wasn't a week before his twenty-first birthday when they finally got something more solid.

Barry was filing away some things at CCPD, continuing to count down the days until he could get his cast removed, when Joe burst into the room Barry was still standing in. The young man was startled, dropping the file he was holding and he opened his mouth to complain when Joe held a hand up.

"We finally have a name," Joe said. He held out the paper he was holding, Barry's eyes quickly scanning over what was on it.

"Eobard Thawne? Eddie's uncle?" Barry asked, eyebrows furrowed. "I thought Eddie said he died in a boating accident like three or four years ago."

"That's why we haven't been able to catch him. Legally, he's dead."

"What's the next move?" Barry asked, handing the paper back to the detective.

"I'm not sure, yet. Singh's going to pull us all later to discuss it," Joe answered. "You should get home, though. You look tired."

"I'm exhausted," Barry confessed. "I haven't been able to sleep very well lately with everything going on."

"Have you been going to your classes?"

"Here and there." Barry bit his bottom, picking up everything that had fallen onto the floor. "Everything's just so...I don't even know. I just want this to be over."

"Everybody else, kid. Go on home. I'll tell Singh you aren't feeling well."

"Not far from the truth," Barry muttered. He put the last of the files away before grabbing his stuff and heading out.

When he made it outside, he was briefly surprised not to find Oliver there to take him home, but then remembered he _was_ leaving early. Deciding to not want to bother him, Barry turned and started his walk home. The trip would be a bit lengthy, but Barry just needed to clear his head.

The cops had a name, which was more than they've had in _months_. Eobard was legally dead, and he was able to move around undetected because his name wouldn't be in the living's database. Joe didn't elaborate on how they got his name, and Barry wasn't fully sure he wanted to know, either. A knot formed in his stomach and Barry suddenly wished he had called Oliver for a ride home, instead of walking. He didn't even know what Eobard looked like.

Thankfully, he made it home alright, and thanked all his lucky stars for that fact alone. Walking into the house, Barry let himself relax. Which, promptly, all went down the drain the minute he walked into the living room.

"You're earlier than I expected," the man said, smirking a little as he stood up from the recliner. The blond-haired male was easily in his late 40's, and his blue eyes monitored Barry's every move. "I wasn't expecting you for another couple hours."

"What are you doing here?" Barry demanded, sticking close to the front door.

"Can't I wish my nephew's friend an early happy birthday?" Eobard asked, smirking. He was taller than Barry, but not by much. He was broader, too, making Barry shrink a little where he stood. He could hold him off, but not for long.

"I know you killed my mother," Barry stated, glaring at the older man. "What I don't know is _why_."

"She _rejected_ me," Eobard practically snarled. "Growing up together, people would always say how cute together we would be when we got older. But then she chose _him_. You _shouldn't even be alive_."

Barry swallowed thickly, watching the older man stalk closer towards him. He felt for the handle, his grip growing loose as his palms grew more and more sweaty. "So you killed her because she didn't want to be with you? Sounds pathetic to me." Barry's voice sounded stronger than he felt. His palm was too sweaty to twist the doorknob in his grip.

"I'm the one she should've married!" Eobard yelled, the sound of it making Barry flinch.

Barry was suddenly pulled away from the door and into the dining room. There was a buzzing coming from his back pocket and he hoped it was Oliver checking up on him. If Barry didn't answer, Oliver would come over to see if he was okay. A scream was let out as Eobard jostled Barry's broken arm in attempts to get him tied into a chair. There were tears in Barry's eyes as Eobard didn't seem to care, instead choosing to put duct tape over his mouth to keep him quiet.

"Do you know how long I have been planning this night? I had to fake my own death so I could make this work out the way I want it to," Eobard said, a smirk firmly planted on his face. "I went through a lot of trouble to kill you, Barry Allen."

Barry blinked away the rapidly forming tears. His whole life flashed before his eyes as Eobard stood in front of him. The man started going on and on about his childhood with Nora, and Barry forced himself to tune it all out. He couldn't handle listening to someone who wasn't his dad talk about his mom in such a light. Eobard was twisted where Henry Allen was not. It seemed that, even at a young age, Nora knew what she was avoiding by not choosing Eobard.

Barry knew from personal experience that Eobard never married, and never had any children. As he paced in front of the bound Barry, all of those questions were answered. Nora had told Barry a lot of stories of her childhood, and how she had a best friend that lived next door. She never went into any detail about him, and Barry could understand why. Eobard had no remorse, and tunnel vision. Whatever happened to the little boy Nora had befriended was long gone by the time they got old enough to date. How long exactly before Barry was even born was Eobard planning to do anything towards the Allens, Barry could only make educated guesses. And he was fairly certain the answer was when Eobard met Henry the very first time.

Barry closed his eyes, crying silently as Eobard grabbed a knife from the kitchen. He apparently wanted Barry to die the very same way Nora had. Barry wanted nothing more, in that moment, than to be wrapped in Oliver's arms. Safe away from everybody, and away from the killer standing right in front of him. Henry would never see him again. Joe would never cook with him again. Iris would never watch movies with him again. Oliver would never kiss him again.

In a way, Barry thought, it was almost as if he deserved it. All the pain he caused others throughout their life. All the misery. Everything that had happened to Barry the past year was just leading up to this moment. The moment his life would be over. And for a brief moment, Barry wished it would just come faster. Let everybody else quit the worrying, and let the weight Barry always brought on them lift away.

Eventually, Barry opened his eyes and stared at the man in front of him. Eobard was watching him, knife poised and ready to enter Barry's chest, stabbing him the way he had stabbed Nora- through the heart.

"Well. Isn't this an almost poetic justice?" Eobard muttered. "Barry Allen, the bane of my existence, accepting death. I can't wait to kill you."

The knife pierced his skin, making Barry shout through the tape. Eobard was taking his sweet time, watching the way Barry experienced the pain. Before it could go too much further, the front door banged open.

"Drop the weapon," Joe's voice rang out. He walked into the kitchen with his gun pointed straight at Eobard. A few cops were behind him, and standing in the doorway was Oliver.

"I have planned for way too long for you cops to stop me now," Eobard snarled. He drove the knife further into Barry, at a much quicker pace, causing Barry to cry out as gunshots rang out.

"Barry!" Joe's voice was suddenly in front of him as Barry struggled to keep his eyes open. "Stay with me, son."

Faintly, he could hear Oliver's voice before he slipped into a world of black.

**~*~**

Everything felt muted. Sound and hearing, mainly, but Barry felt detached from his own body. Even if he wanted to, he wasn't sure he'd be able to move anything. Distantly, he could hear the sound of voices, and felt something in his nose to help him breathe, but even if he focused, he couldn't make anything out.

It took a while for him to get enough strength to twitch his finger. A feminine voice called out for somebody, and suddenly felt a warm hand slide into his, squeezing it gently. He focused more and weakly squeezed back, a warm feeling in his chest when the people around him cheered.

He wasn't sure how long it took, maybe a few minutes, before he peeled his eyes open. Someone had closed the curtains and turned the light down a bit, because it wasn't as bright as the last time Barry found himself in the hospital. When his vision came to, there was Dr. Rhodes standing on the left side of his best, and Joe, Iris, and Oliver all the right. The hand he was holding was Oliver's, and another warm feeling spread throughout his chest.

"Mr. Allen?" Dr. Rhodes asked softly, catching Barry's attention.

"What happened?" he asked, memories getting fuzzier the more he tried to recall what happened to land him the hospital.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"Um," Barry said, closing his eyes as he tried to remember _anything_. "I was walking home early from work. I decided to not call Oliver for a ride because I didn't think anything was going to happen." His eyes suddenly shot open, the memories flooding into his mind suddenly. "Eobard! Where-"

"He's dead," Joe quickly supplied. "He drove the knife into your chest and he was shot."

Barry's hand slipped out of Oliver's as his hand went to where he felt the knife. "How am I alive?"

"He only barely missed your heart," Dr. Rhodes said. "You flat-lined on the way to the hospital, but we were able to revive you and stabilize you. You're a very lucky man."

Barry nodded mutely, tuning out whatever else the doctor was saying. Joe looked to be taking everything she was saying in, but both Iris and Oliver were watching Barry. His broken arm was still in its sling, more than likely worse off from being tied behind his back. His hand slipped back into Oliver's as he relaxed back into the bed.

"How long was I out?" he asked once Dr. Rhodes had left the room. He'd still be in the hospital a while, but for the time being, he was okay.

"About a week," Iris answered. "You need to stop being in here, Bear, you're making all of us sick with worry."

Barry gave her a weak smile, appreciating the attempt at humor despite the tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry. How did you know to come to the house?"

"When you weren't answering your phone, I got a little worried. I called Joe and he mentioned you went home early. From there, it just took piecing things together. We were almost too late," Oliver answered. He held Barry's free hand in between both of his.

"But I'm alive," Barry said, bringing the man's hands up to press a kiss to the back of the nearest one. "I still owe you that date."

Oliver let out a weak laugh. "Glad to know that's all you think about when you're lying in a hospital bed for the second time within a three-month span."

"I spent an I don't want to know amount of time being held by Eobard, thinking I was going to die. I could use some humor," Barry said, managing a weak smile. "What scared me the most was the thought I wouldn't see any of you guys again. I didn't want you guys to be upset when I was gone."

"Barry," Iris whispered. She had moved over to Barry's left side. Running a hand through his hair, she pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Even when you're about to have a knife impale you, your first thought is on others."

"It's just who I am." Barry bit his bottom lip. "What also scared me was how ready I was to die. I figured my death would relieve everyone of all the sorrow I've burdened you guys with."

"Barry," Iris said again, sounding like she had been punched in the gut. "You _never_ burden us with any of what's happened. Do you hear me? We don't mind helping you out, Barry. You do it for us, too."

"Yeah, Bear. We would much rather you talk about than keep it bottled up," Joe added.

"So don't you _ever_ think you're burdening us," Iris stated fiercely. "Now, I know you can't help it, thinking that way, but we will be here every step of the way."

Barry smiled up at her. "Thank you," he responded sincerely. He then let out a sigh as he sunk into the pillow. "I'm so glad this is all over."

"Did he ever say why he went after you?" Joe asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"He said it was because my mom rejected him. Apparently, when they were growing up, people said they would look good together, and I guess he developed a crush along with that. So, when she chose my dad, he got angry at her," Barry explained. His eyes suddenly widened. "My dad. Will he get out of Iron Heights?"

Joe nodded. "Luckily, Eobard kept a journal. He hasn't used it in recent years, but there's some entries around the time of Nora's death that can be used as evidence to free Henry."

"Oh, thank God," Barry breathed out. He licked his lips before letting out a sigh. "I'm tired. I know I was just out for a week, but I need sleep."

"We'll leave you be, then."

Oliver kissed his forehead before the three of them left. Barry bit his bottom lip, a soft blush appearing on his cheeks as he watched his three loved ones disappear out the door. He fell asleep not long after, a smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not a doctor, okay
> 
> also i know the ending is cheesy as **FUCK** , but idc and i cant kill barry ):


	11. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so short, im so sorry. i didn't mean to make you guys wait so long for something so short and shitty, rip. ive kinda grown to not really like this fic, so i got really unmotivated to write it :/// im going to completely and fully edit this story at some future point, but for now, here's the epilogue!!!
> 
> [btw this is the song that the title comes from.](https://youtu.be/F7RbBB-lT5o) i kept meaning to link it, but i kept forgetting, lmao

It wouldn’t be until July when things would fully cool down for Barry.

His arm had completely rebroke thanks to Eobard, and he only had a few more weeks left to wear the cast on his arm. But for the most part, he could still use it. It was an inconvenience more than anything, but he had learned to deal with it.

“Can you believe it’s been a year since you were engaged to Felicity?” Barry asked, running his non-casted hand through the hot sand, letting it slip between his fingers.

“Doesn’t really feel like it, to be honest,” Oliver replied, pulling Barry closer to him.

Humming softly, Barry relaxed into the man’s arms, sighing softly as he laid with Oliver on the beach. It was just the two of them. They had wanted to invite the others, but after a quick decision, they decided to use it as an excuse to spend more time together. Ever since his birthday when he almost died, Barry and Oliver had spent as much time with each other as they could.

“How’s your dad’s apartment searching going?” Oliver asked, running a hand through Barry’s brown locks.

“Better. He’s trying to find a place close to where the hospital he’s working at, but hasn’t had too much luck.” Barry laid his head on Oliver’s shoulder.

The court process had taken the longest out of everything. CCPD had enough evidence to prove it had been Eobard all along. The man had a lengthy list of crimes to his name, and if they did enough digging, it didn’t seem to stop after he was legally declared dead. Captain Singh predicted he was just practicing for when he killed Barry, but with the man dead, it was hard to tell for sure. Henry had been released from prison, and with the charges being dropped, he was allowed to attempt at getting his medical license back. As it was, he worked part-time at the hospital as a night time janitor.

At first, Barry had protested, and said he could help Henry get a job at Jitters, but the older man seemed content being in the hospital, despite whatever position he was holding. He was just happy to be in there.

After Henry was released, he decided to live with the Wests until he was up on his feet again. Sometime during early-May, Iris had moved in with Eddie, and Henry stayed in her old room. He liked making jokes that the scent of perfume was stuck in the mattress, but he was content with no longer being in a prison cell to _really_ complain.

“Joe still doesn’t like the thought of Iris living with Eddie, but he’s had the time to get used to seeing Eddie around, seeing as they’ve been together for so long.”

“What about you?” Oliver asked suddenly, taking Barry a bit by surprise. “Any plans of moving out soon?”

“Maybe. I have one more year left. The reason I went into this field is no more, but it still interests me enough to where I’m not upset by it.” Barry sat and looked at Oliver, his eyebrows furrowed. “Why do you ask?”

“Well...my apartment _is_ pretty big for one person. And I get fairly lonely...”

“Oliver Queen, are you asking me to move in with you?” Barry asked, disbelief and surprise coloring his tone. “Are you sure it’s not too soon?”

“Of course not.” Oliver kissed Barry sweetly. “Barry, I’ve had feelings for you for longer than we’ve been dating. Now that we’re together...it’s been some of the best months of my life. I want to continue them with you. This isn’t a proposal,” he added, seeing the slightly panicked look cross Barry’s features. “I just...I want to spend more time with you. Plus, I might have been talking to both Joe and Henry about you. They think you moving in with me may be good for you.”

Barry hummed softly. “Well, I don’t see the harm in that,” he said with a laugh. He pulled Oliver in for another kiss, humming softly against the man’s lips. “Thank you for everything, by the way. Sticking by me through this all has helped me more than you realise.”

“It was my pleasure.” Oliver kissed his forehead before Barry laid his head on Oliver’s shoulder once more.

The sun was beating warmly down on them, making Barry feel happier than he had felt in months. Sure, him and Oliver still had quite a few problems they needed to work through, but Barry was content with the knowledge that they were together.

“How’s Thea taking this? You and I, I mean.”

“She’s thrilled. I told you, she loves you. She adores you so much she’s already planning our wedding because she wants you to be her brother.”

Barry laughed. “That’s precious. Your sister’s a gem, I wouldn’t mind having her as a sister-in-law.”

“Yeah, well, your sister is _scary_.”

Another laugh bubbled out of Barry’s lips. “Only when she’s mad. Or thinks someone is hurting someone she cares about.”

“I’m guessing she doesn’t care too much for your exes, hmm?” Oliver asked, running a hand along Barry’s arm.

“Oh, she outright hates Blaine.” Barry laughed. “She still has mixed feelings about Hunter. She hates him for what he did to me when we were younger, but she’s slowly warming up to him now that we’re talking regularly.”

Oliver hummed softly. “How’s she feel about me?” he asked, nosing at the crook of Barry’s neck.

Giggling softly, Barry nodded. “Oliver, you know she loves you. You’ve been by my side through everything, and you support me with everything I do.” He sat up and turned towards his boyfriend with a smile. “I love you more, though.”

“I love you, too,” Oliver said softly, pulling the younger man into a sweet kiss.

**~*~**

Moving in had been a quick process. Barry didn’t quite realise how much stuff he already had at Oliver’s until he was officially moving in. It had embarrassed him at first, but Oliver had assured him it was perfectly okay. Joe playfully complained that both of his kids had left at once, leaving him with a big empty house to himself.

Barry had never had a chance to celebrate his twenty-first birthday, seeing as he was in the hospital, so Oliver took him out for dinner and drinks, spoiling him. Barry was certain his face was as red as a tomato from more than just the alcohol.

Around August, Barry learned that Blaine had moved to New York to be with Kurt. Their engagement was back on (much to no one’s surprise), and Barry was rather relieved their awkward encounters would be no more in his final year. Blaine had tried talking to him a few times, and Kurt even less so, so Barry simply deleted their numbers off his phone. As a final letting go process.

Hunter, on the other hand, had quickly become a good friend of Barry’s. Things were awkward for a while, especially if Oliver was home with them, but they eventually got into a decent groove where they could talk to one another easily. Hunter was dating some girl from his college, and he was happy they had both happily moved on.

Caitlin and Ronnie decided to get married the following year, sometime during the June after graduation. Both Iris and Caitlin poured themselves into planning, while Ronnie added his input every so often. Barry himself could see the appeal of a wedding, but didn’t want to get married himself for a while. Ronnie and Caitlin had been together for years, so their wedding was something a long time coming.

Living with Oliver was something Barry never really expected to be doing so soon after getting together with him, but he didn’t mind. Oliver was the best kind of lover to him, and one of the best people he had ever met. The older man supported Barry in every decision he made, and Barry supported Oliver. For example, why he didn’t particularly like the fact Oliver talked to Felicity regularly, he still let him do what he wanted. He was talking to his own ex, after all. It would be hypocritical to stop Oliver from talking to Felicity.

Often times, Barry and Oliver would study together, or even study with their other friends. School didn’t come as easy to Oliver as it did for Barry, so Barry declared himself as Oliver’s personal tutor. And every time Oliver did well on a test, his reward would be whatever sexual thing Barry decided (it was good incentive).

“Stop, you’re distracting me,” Barry said with a giggle, trying to tilt away from Oliver. They were both sat at the dining room table and Oliver suddenly leaned over and started mouthing at Barry’s neck. He let out a soft moan before gently pushing Oliver away. “Ollie, I’m serious. I have to get this essay done.”

Oliver pouted a little before kissing Barry. “I’m sorry, I’m just...I’m really happy I can kiss you whenever I want to now.”

“I’m happy about that, too, trust me. But I really must get this done.”

“Alright. I’ll get a start on dinner, then.”

Barry smiled as he watched Oliver walk into the kitchen before focusing back on his essay. He was almost done with it, but with Oliver distracting him, it would have taken him far longer than usual to write the last couple paragraphs. When he was finished, he decided to check on Iris while Oliver cooked.

 _“Hey, Bear. Haven’t heard from you in a while. Wonder why that is?”_ Iris teased.

Barry playfully groaned. “You’ve been just as busy with school, Iris.”

 _“Yeah, yeah. Hey, listen. Eddie wants to have a get together this weekend to celebrate all the good things that have been happening lately,”_ Iris explained, bringing a smile to Barry’s face. _“We’re inviting everybody to our place since we have the room.”_

“I’m sure Oliver and I will be able to make it. I don’t see why we wouldn’t be able to. Just text me the details and I’ll relay them to Ollie.” Barry smiled over at Oliver, who had peeked from the kitchen when he heard his name. Barry waved him off before going back to talking to Iris.

By the time Barry got off the phone, Oliver had finished dinner and was starting to put his school stuff away so they could eat. All the domestic things the two of them did together made Barry smile uncontrollably. Before he met Oliver, he never imagined he’d ever be this happy and this content with life. But there he was, and he didn’t regret a thing.

**~*~**

**_Two years later..._ **

“I really don’t see why I need to go with to the wedding,” Barry said with a bit of a pout. Oliver was chuckling at him from where he was getting ready in the bathroom, making Barry’s pout deepen.

“Because you have made up with Felicity in the past couple years, and she would love it if you went to her and Ray’s wedding,” Oliver explained, his voice echoing a bit.

Letting out a soft sigh, Barry stood off the bed and walked into the bathroom with Oliver. His hair was a mess and hung annoyingly into his face. He grabbed his hair gel and started to slick back his hair. Oliver kissed his cheek before walking back into their bedroom. Barry sighed softly and finished before joining his boyfriend.

Oliver’s back was to him, and he was fiddling with something in his hands. Quirking an eyebrow, Barry walked closer, trying to see what was in Oliver’s hands. “Ollie, what are you doing?”

Oliver turned around, a small box in his hands. Barry’s breath hitched at the sight, eyeing the box in the older man’s hands. Barry’s breath hitched at the sight of it. Before he could speak again, Oliver opened the box, revealing a silver band. “Look, I’m...well, frankly, I’m shit at these types of speeches. But, this whole wedding thing has had me thinking, and Barry Allen, I don’t want to spend another day without you. I’ve loved you for years, and you’re the best thing to ever happen to me.” Oliver went onto one knee, smiling up at Barry. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” Barry said, laughing as tears filled his eyes. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

Grinning, Oliver slid the ring onto Barry’s left ring finger before standing up and pulling the younger man into a long kiss. “I’m so in love you, Barry Allen.”

“I’m so in love with you, too, Oliver Queen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the time jump at the end was more than likely unnecessary, but i wanted some fluff in this fic, lmao

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are much appreciated! (especially comments, im a hoe for feedback)
> 
>  [my tumblr](http://lovelylerman.tumblr.com)  
> [my instagram](http://instagram.com/olivxrry)


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